man this touched me August 10, 2006 2:00 PM
my friend scrappy has been a great and valueable friend to me. when i read this it hurt me and also his blog gives some hope...here you read and see for yourself.
Today I am particularly sad over the death of someone I was helping with his problems. I can't say who and I can't say how I know him because of confidentiality issues, but he was very dear to me. This morning he committed suicide and, I know this sounds horrible but, I'm surprised he didn't do it sooner. I am filled with rage because this boy, in his teenage years, had to deal with a family that couldn't give three %#&!*% about him because he was gay. He was forced to grow up in an environment that exposed him to alcoholism, a history of rape incidents, prostitution, drug addiction, verbal and physical abuse. Can you imagine what it would've been like to grow up in that kind of environment? I tried my hardest to help him, but I had so many limitations. I wish I could've done more! I feel so guilty even though everyone tells me there's nothing I could've done. I didn't even know he was thinking about doing this!
You know what the worst part is? His stepfather believes in his heart that it is better for him to be dead than to live with the "embarrassment" of being a homosexual. There is SO MUCH ANGER in me that I don't know if I can control it. I want to scream, kick, maybe even kill! I want to make a hole in a wall for every tear a gay child had to shed because of discrimination; and I want to kick every rock for every time a gay child received a black eye for being who he/she is in public; and I want to kill every %#&!*% homophobe for every time a gay child dies over the thoughts that this cruel world will never allow them to succeed in life. I wish his family, and any one else who thinks like they do, a lifetime of pain for all the hurtful things they put these kids through everyday. May their lives be filled with angst and may their dreams remain forever dead!
[ send green star]