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How do you convince the close-minded? September 06, 2004 9:15 AM

I was having a discussion with my very close-minded father the other day, and he actually began yelling because I kept saying that gays are people too. Any suggestions on how I can convince such a close-minded person that gays have rights too, or at least that society can't press their opinions on a basic right?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 September 08, 2004 5:51 PM

I don't really think you can.. Maybe you can, and I'm feeling like a pessimist today... But they have their heads stuck into the ground. They don't see what's going on, what's happening in the world.. I wish I could just change their views on people- I bet they hope for equality and peace and here they are, bashing at person. Sorry, for my little rant..  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 September 10, 2004 8:12 PM

Yes, why can't there be a magical way to make people see from your point of view? *sigh*  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 September 10, 2004 8:14 PM

Yes, why can't there be a magical way to make people see from your point of view? *sigh*  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
oops September 10, 2004 8:14 PM

Sorry, double post  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Time and Exposure September 21, 2004 3:50 PM

My family is still resitant to the idea that I am gay, and still argue against what they call special rights for the GLBT community. But I think with time and exposure to people that are different people will begin the change their mind. I've seen several polls showing that the younger generation having BLBT family members and friends they are more likely to support equal rights. I would hope with time things will change. When we can be out in our communities and families they begin to see we are everywhere and come it all shapes, sizes and forms. I am still working on this one myself!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
It is difficult when they shout September 29, 2004 5:06 AM

It is difficult to change another person's attitude about sexuality due to the nature of the subject itself. Yet, when someone starts yelling, try diffusing the anger with questions: Why does the subject make you angry? What is it about gay/lesbian lifestyles that uspets you? What do you find different between the homosexual and heterosexual lifestyle?By doing this, you can begin to understand where the hatred/fear/ignorance is based, whether it be religous, cultural, sexual insecurity..and more often than not, most people who are prejudiced against gays/lesbians often don think they know any, or have a warped view of what the lifestyle entails. This approach doesn't always work, but I have had some success with trying to address the anger and redirect the conversation away from a purely emotional response.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Close Minded Family September 30, 2004 4:26 PM

The problem with my family is they won't talk about it at all. I have no way to question why it's hard for them to except because they just ignore it. They never ask about my girlfriend and barely acknowledge she exists. Having them tell me they hate it, are upset etc. would be better because at least we could talk about it and I could try to make them understand and then maybe I could understand their feelings. I don't know if I should corner them and force them to see it and talk about it, or give them time. I only came out in March of this year. A little off topic with my own stuff, sorry! Don't have many people to get advice from on this topic!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
The common problem is communication September 30, 2004 4:58 PM

Yvette, you are dealing with anger. Kymberli, you are dealing avoidance. Yet you both are dealing with the issue of communication and family. Unfortunately, it is one way communication you are both exoperiencing. You want to share your views, be heard but you are being dismissed (in different ways, but same outcome). You are both trying to reach out to family members that are not ready yet to deal with your new lifestyles. That can be very painful and leave you with a feeling isolated and marginalized. The key here (perhaps the solution) is try and remember who these people are with their limitations and find the support you need from friends and other communities. I long ago realized that I had to develop my own "family": Gather around me the people and support group I was lacking in my biologic family. To this day, my biologic parents are purposefully cruel and dismissive. But since I no longer rely on them for emotional support (or cudos <<sp>>); I can deal with them in a non-commital relationship and look elsewhere for the unconditional love and caring a family SHOULD (oh I hate that word) be. I am not sure what else to say..except I hope you know that there are people out there who will listen, even if it seems unlikely at this juncture to you.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Yvette October 01, 2004 10:09 AM

I also grew up with a father that was very close minded and negative. It was very hard for me o express my views and to try to get him to see that there is more than one opinion. I applaud your efforts in trying to show him that you see the world with different eyes than his, but be aware that nothing you say to him will change his mind. But please don't ever stop seeking out and questioning his views or societies views on contorversial topics. I no longer have contact with my dad, and learned along time ago that one has to stick true to their ideals, no matter who opposes them, but also be willing to see where they may be wrong, and be willing to learn new information! It is refreshing to see a teenager who is so socially and morally conscious, in this age of materialism, extreme sexuality, and pop culture. Keep up the good work, and know there are those who support you! *flowerbar*  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Eric. October 01, 2004 3:07 PM

Thanks for the advice. I know eventually it will come to be finding and creating my own family. I've been trying to do that since I graduated from high school. I've moved away MANY times and to three different states but I'm back and VERY close in proximity to my family. I only see them because I am very close to my youngest sister who is awesome and so supportive of my life and my partner. She's amazing! She accepting and mature, the only one in the family. I've always craved acceptance from them (who doesnt?) and I'm having a very hard time realizing that it's never going to happen. I guess only time can heal this! After seeing so many positive movies and books where kids come out to their parents and they are so wonderful and loving, that's what I want and deserve. But I guess I'll just be all the stronger for it!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 October 03, 2004 7:33 AM

Just wanted to say that I think there's still a chance that Yvette's father will change his attitude a bit. I don't know him, so of course I cannot be sure, but my father used to be really narow-minded. He still is, in a way. Last summer we discussed homosexuality, and then he did not know I was bi. He said things like: "I don't mind gay people, I mean, I can talk to them and all, but they've got something wrong with their brains". This made me slightly anxious about telling him, so I actually told him in a letter (we see each other only a few times a year). After a few days he called me and said that he'd been shocked, but that he'd calmed down and started thinking it over. And he said that even if he found it a little bit weird, he still loved me just as much as before. Now he's one of the few family members that can actually talk quite normally to my girlfriend! He's not less narrow-minded in other ways, though, he still thinks all muslims ruin the world...*sigh* And to the woman whose parents didn't discussed her being gay: My mum and grandma are like that! At least sort of..mu mum has heard so many negative things about my gf she doesn't want to meet her, but is otherwise quite open when it comes to glbt issues. My grandma never mentions anything about my "gay life", but I know she's not too happy about it. But she's 83... Good luck, everyone!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 October 03, 2004 9:14 AM

Thank you for that Eric! you're right, I did not realize what homsosexuals were like when I was against them. But once I found out my soon to be stepbrother (who I thought was the ultimate coolest thing), and then my friend were gay. Then I began to learn a little more about the lifestyle and I realized that there was nothing wrong with it at all. Accompanying this change, I also began to analyze my religion and how I acted towards others. I think the peopel who refuse to accept people such as homosexuals need to realize how messed up their thinking system is (in my opinion. Sounded a little like an insult, I'm sorry) and try to change this so other people aren't hurt by them.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
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