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 January 28, 2011 9:41 PM

George, just touching base to ask how u are doing my friend!

Quiet at Care 2 lately but its like a calm before a big storm eh?

All the best in this New Year to you and yours!

Cam (Northern)

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 December 24, 2010 8:44 AM

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 December 16, 2010 7:45 PM

liberal slinkie.jpg  [ send green star]
 
 December 16, 2010 7:41 PM

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 December 13, 2010 1:20 AM



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 December 09, 2010 3:46 PM

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 July 31, 2010 9:30 AM

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Bats July 29, 2010 4:20 AM

This is very timely: the latest newsletter from The Texas Gardener' Seeds said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of forests.
 
Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures. Here are three from the Bat Family ..... without the need for resorting to fiction.
. 
Sucker Footed Bat
. 
Red Wing Fruit Bat 
. 
Left Wing Ding Bat
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 June 12, 2010 10:59 AM

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anonymous  March 15, 2010 4:24 PM

nancy and rosie make a good couple!!

 [report anonymous abuse]
 
 February 25, 2010 3:59 PM

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 February 25, 2010 12:50 PM

You guys have me laughing so hard! Thanks for the great jokes etc.! It made my day!

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Jesus and the Democrat... February 24, 2010 8:08 AM

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
 
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
 
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat
down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that
Jesus, over there?"
 
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
 
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down
and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?
 
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.
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 February 22, 2010 5:54 PM

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 July 08, 2009 12:12 AM

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BEWARE THE VIRUS June 01, 2009 6:42 AM

IF YOU GET AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT LINE THAT READS “NUDE PICS OF SARAH PALIN” DO NOT OPEN. IT MAY CONTAIN A VIRUS.

IF YOU GET AN MAIL WITH THE SUBJECT LINE THAT READS “NUDE PICS OF HILLARY CLINTON” DO NOT OPEN. IT MAY CONTAIN NUDE PICS OF HILLARY CLINTON.

 [ send green star]
 
anonymous  May 31, 2009 8:07 PM

I bet the loons are not laughing at this thread!

When a liberal gets upset with the word LOON, what does that usually mean?

 [report anonymous abuse]
 
 May 31, 2009 8:03 PM

Count me in for the political Robbie Knievel tour! I'd pay to see that one!

I was talking about Al Gore with someone the other day so I figured I'd post the official Al Gore collectors card!

gore-card-copy.jpg picture by Krypton121

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TICKET’S TO MAJOR POLITICAL EVENT AVAILABLE! May 30, 2009 11:07 AM

I HAVE FOUR TICKETS TO A MAJOR POLITICAL EVENT IF ANYBODY WANTS THEM.
ROBBIE KNEIVEL, SON OF THE INFAMOUS EVIL KNEIVEL IS GOING TO JUMP OVER
5000 OBAMA SUPPORTERS WITH A BULLDOZER AT TEXAS STADIUM.

SHOULD BE A GOOD TIME. LET ME KNOW

 [ send green star]
 
IF IT LOOKS WALKS LIKE PORK AND TALKS LIKE PORK…. May 20, 2009 1:05 PM

DOHBAMA DESCRIBING A FARM ANIMAL WOULD GO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. “WELL IT LIVES IN A DIRTY PEN, WALLOWING IN THE MUD. IT WILL EAT ANY KIND OF SLOP AND DOESN’T REQUIRE A LOT OF CARE. ONCE YOU SLAUGHTER THIS ANIMAL YOU CAN CUT ITS MEAT INTO STRIPS WHICH IS GREAT FOR BREAKFAST, YOU CAN GRIND IT UP AND MAKE PATTIES OUT OF IT AND THE LOIN MEAT IS GREAT FOR GRILLING….WE CALL THIS ANIMAL A STIMULUS!

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medical breakthrough March 22, 2009 6:44 AM

 A French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced 
that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'


A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung 
out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in 
four weeks.


 The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in 
another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'


An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are 
way behind.  We recently took a man with no brains out of  
Illinois , put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work

 [ send green star]
 
I Voted March 13, 2009 9:26 AM

        

 

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want.  I've decided to marry my horse.

 

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

 

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

 

I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

 

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

 

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

 

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

 

I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

 

I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

 

I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

 

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my *** that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

 

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."

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THE DEMOCRAT IN THE BALLOON January 31, 2009 3:08 PM

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude
and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, ‘Excuse me, can you
help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know
where I am.’
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, ‘You’re in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above
sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100
degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.’
She rolled her eyes and said, ‘You must be a Republican.’
‘I am,’ replied the man. ‘How did you know?’
‘Well,’ answered the balloonist, ‘everything you told me is technically
correct , but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still
lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.’
The man smiled and responded, ‘You must be a Democrat.’
‘I am,’ replied the balloonist. ‘How did you know?’
‘Well,’ said the man, ‘you don’t know where you are or where you are going.
You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made
a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your
problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but,
somehow, now it’s my fault.’

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 November 17, 2008 11:17 AM

Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey were flying on Obama's private plane. Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.' Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, 'I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy. Michelle added, 'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.' Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots back there.
 S**t,
 I could throw all of their asses out of the window and make 56 million  people very happy.'

If you're one of those 56 million, pass this on!!!

 [ send green star]
 
HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 August 23, 2008 5:53 AM




Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school 
parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his 
car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail 
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for 
traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end 
up buddies.
2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny 
and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled 
even though Johnny started it.


Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good 
paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and 
does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He 
is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state 
because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a 
whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to 
college and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to 
foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by 
Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad 
goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.


Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug 
violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear 
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for 
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the 
state school system and Pedro's English teacher.  English is then 
banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but 
ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts 
them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007- ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is 
charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- 
and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are 
confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is 
never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is 
found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. 
She faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.  [ send green star]
 
YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT IF... August 13, 2008 8:29 AM

  • You think that burning the US Flag is acceptable, because it's just a swatch of cloth and doesn't mean anything, but that flying the Confederate Stars & Bars is unacceptable, because it's a symbol of HATRED.
  • You believe that government should make a special effort to hire members of traditionally oppressed groups, such as African-Americans (except for Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice).
  • You think that protesting outside of a US Marine recruiting office in the Peoples Republic of Berkeley is protected by your 1st Amendment rights, and think that protesting outside an abortion clinic is not.
  • If you believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but putting "Heather Has Two Mommies" or "Ask Alice" (on the internet) won't.
  • You think marriage is obsolete - except for homosexuals.
  • You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress.
  • You live in constant fear that someone, somewhere, is making a profit.
  • You believe that if you reward stupidity, you get less of it.
  • You believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography “only has to look the other way.”
  • You are worried about how the French view Americans.
  • You have no problem with Hollywood movie stars flying around in private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs
  • You give money to the homeless man on the corner of the freeway, but you turn up your nose every time you see a boy scout."
  • You think that pornography corrupts women, but find nothing wrong with a 50 year old president seducing a 21 year old intern.
  • You cry every May 4th over the four people killed at Kent State, but have never been to the Vietnam Memorial.
  • You say shows like "Andy Griffith " are out of touch with America today, while you flip to your soap opera.
  • You tout the NAACP, but criticize anyone referring to a black man as a "colored person."
  • You think a mother has a right to kill an innocent 5 month fetus because her pregnancy would interfere with her career, but feel we shouldn't put to death the man who raped and murdered 14 women.
  • You feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on your first amendment rights.
  • You honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security disability benefits.
  • You outwardly said "I would have voted for Elizabeth Dole" knowing darn well you wouldn't have because she is a Republican.
  • You think it is ok for a President to commit perjury on his sex life, but criticize Dan Quayle for spelling potato/potatoe wrong.
  • You stood on a soapbox demanding that Anita Hill be heard, but want Paula Jones' accusations to be swept under the rug.
  • You think the guy who drops out of High School and builds your jeep deserves more money than the doctor who went to college for 10 years and saves your kids life.
  • You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution and multiculturalism are values.
  • You sang along to "Give Peace a Chance" during the Gulf War.
  • You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out of high school.
  • You went to Woodstock II and felt that it was a significant historical event, changing the way our country thinks.
  • You own something that says, "Dukakis for President," and still display it.
  • You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."
  • You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
  • You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
  • You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
  • You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
  • You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.
  • You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
  • You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
  • After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
 [ send green star]
 
DRIVING MISS HILLARY March 20, 2008 1:09 PM

.  [ send green star]
 
 October 15, 2007 1:39 PM

.  [ send green star]
 
anonymous Serenity September 26, 2007 1:16 PM

Stress reduction therapy

http://hytaipan.home.comcast.net/media/serenity2.html

 [report anonymous abuse]
 
 September 26, 2007 12:14 PM

.  [ send green star]
 
From: The Ultimate Jew August 05, 2007 10:53 PM

Jackie Mason on The Democrats

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSY9Pv9aS08

 

Jackie Mason on Making Muslims Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQqLMKOPbck

 [ send green star]
 
 May 29, 2007 2:23 PM

Bert, HAHAHA

Those were funny!!  

(Archie, America is spelled AMERICA)

 [ send green star]
 
Continued May 29, 2007 12:41 PM

10:00 P.M. --How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World TradeCenter Towers - Howard Dean.
10:30 P.M. -- Nomination of
Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.
11:00 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 P.M. --
Al Gore re-tells how he invented the Internet
11:15 P.M. -- Our Troops are War criminals -
John Kerry
11:30 P.M. -- Coronation of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton
12:00 A.M. -- Ted Kennedy closes the convention and proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M. -- Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

 [ send green star]
 
 May 29, 2007 12:39 PM

2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda

7:00 P.M. -- Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. -- Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:30 P.M. -- Non-religious prayer and worship: Jessie Jackson and
Al Sharpton. They both also collect the offering plates.
8:00 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:05 P.M. -- Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15 P.M. -- Gay Wedding--
Barney Frank presiding.
8:30 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. -- Honor Saddam Rally - Cindy Sheehan &
Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. -- Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender - Ex French President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. -- Collection to benefit
Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.
9:30 P.M. -- Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay.
9:40 P.M. -- Why I hate the Military, A short talk by
Bill Clinton.
9:45 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:50 P.M. --
Dan Rather receives Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M. --
Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:00 P.M. --How
George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World TradeCenter Towers -  [ send green star]
 
 May 29, 2007 12:37 PM

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do one
entitled, "Survivor-Texas Style".

The contestants will all start in Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San
Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up
to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbockand then Amarillo. From there
they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and, finally, back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read: "I'm gay;
I love the Dixie Chicks; Boycott Beef; I voted for John Kerry; George Strait
Sucks; Hillary in 2008; and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one who makes it back to Dallas alive wins.


 [ send green star]

 
Archie May 29, 2007 9:38 AM

<Archie> Well, we already knew that so-called "conservatives" can dish it out, but they just can't take it....

I've seen more liberals try to enter a debate yet resort to name calling when they just can't present facts! Just once I would like to see a liberal debate with facts not mindless kindergarden name calling!

 [ send green star]
 
I thought this was a humor thread! May 29, 2007 6:20 AM

Someone pokes fun at your little prince, and you completely lose your marbles.

This must be the last little bunker of true Bush Believers left in Amaerika...

Well, we already knew that so-called "conservatives" can dish it out, but they just can't take it....

What a bunch of babies....

 [ send green star]
 
LOL May 28, 2007 9:11 PM


Thanks, Michelle, for displaying Archie to us.

I wonder...how would Archie defend our country? Serenade them into surrendering?

My guess is, this guy took way too much LSD when he was a young hippie teen, and just never grew up. He probably works at a supermarket, packing bags, and is bitter towards we Conservatives who have advanced in life.
 [ send green star]
 
anonymous .. May 28, 2007 5:48 PM

This account has been deleted  [report anonymous abuse]
 
anonymous .. May 28, 2007 3:05 PM

This account has been deleted  [report anonymous abuse]
 
Liberal doofus (see picture below) May 28, 2007 2:04 PM

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People like you, Archie, just don't get it do you. May 28, 2007 10:56 AM

Got Freedom.jpg

 [ send green star]
 
 May 28, 2007 10:54 AM

Flower Children.gif  [ send green star]
 
Your other hero . . . May 28, 2007 10:52 AM

Nancy Pelosi Lips.gif  [ send green star]
 
Your Hero . . . May 28, 2007 10:50 AM

rosieksm.jpg  [ send green star]
 
Your hero... May 28, 2007 10:22 AM

 [ send green star]
 
 May 27, 2007 7:05 AM

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SINFUL , LIBRALS. May 15, 2007 10:43 PM

Take the first letter of each word,.... Demorilize, Each, Member, Of, Christian, Religion, All, Together,............what do ya get?...Democrat!  [ send green star]
 
 May 13, 2007 7:53 PM

Aww anytime Jasmin, Always fun to make light of dorky liberals who play guitar..  [ send green star]
 
 May 13, 2007 7:26 PM


Michelle, thanks for letting Archie have it.

I was wondering why a liberal was allowed in this group, but now I know why...so intelligent Conservatives such as yourself can have fun lambasting  him.

LOL
 [ send green star]
 
Jane still sucks! May 13, 2007 3:29 PM

Excuse my "french" I just love this patch

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George:) May 09, 2007 5:05 PM

That video cheer from Michelle was funnny!! I will have to remember that cheer for future reference  LOL

 [ send green star]

 
Archie May 09, 2007 5:03 PM

Awww I was hoping you would put your pic up in this thread, what better thread to do it in huh?  After all it is a laughing at liberals thread...and hello....you FIT the bill..  [ send green star]
 
The Defeatocrats' Cheer May 09, 2007 10:48 AM

video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt_YcQlYxyY  [ send green star]
 
 May 01, 2007 9:25 PM

 [ send green star]
 
Geaorge May 01, 2007 3:23 PM



Thanks for the cartoon, and for the facts!!!
 [ send green star]
 
 May 01, 2007 3:22 PM


Thank you, Michelle. I love this,,,I'm going to tack it to my bulletin board at work. You always post such great stuff!

Uh, I think you have Reagan and Clinton reversed in one paragraph.

Love ya, Michelle!
 [ send green star]
 
Outstanidng Posts Michelle and George! :) April 29, 2007 9:15 PM

pinkPanther_1_.gif

Thank you SO much!     

 [ send green star]

 
 April 29, 2007 11:39 AM

 [ send green star]
 
cont... April 29, 2007 11:26 AM

Liberals believes that Conservatives want dirty water and dirty air. Liberals also think that water and air should be free of all pollution. A Conservative knows that it is impossible to completely clean the water and air, pollution will always exist and the only thing we can do is minimize the pollution.

Liberals want to eliminate all health risks. Conservatives realize that health risks occur naturally in the environment and can never be completely eliminated, only mitigated.

Liberals desperately want life to be fair. Conservatives realize life is inherently unfair.

Conservatives think people should be paid what they are worth. Liberals think it is unfair that some people make more than others.

Liberals believe that Conservatives are intolerant, bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobes, but it is Liberals who want to label everybody by their race, sexual orientation or gender. Conservatives believe each person should be judged as an individual regardless of their race, sexual orientation or gender.

A Liberal believes that there is no right or wrong. A Conservative knows that belief is asinine.

Only a Liberal could call an increase of 5.6% in the school lunch program a cut just because they wanted a larger increase.

Liberals blame Ronald Reagan for budget deficits and give Bill Clinton credit for budget surpluses, but they have obviously never read the part of the Constitution that gives Congress the responsibility for the federal budget. The Democratic congress under Ronald Reagan gave us deficits and the Republican Congress under Bill Clinton gave us surpluses.

Liberals believe that Conservatives want to destroy the environment, and Liberals want to preserve the environment as it is at all costs. Conservatives realize that the environment is going to change no matter what we do, and that environmental resources can be used in a responsible way without destroying the environment.

Liberals are certain that humans have caused the Earth to experience “Global Warming.” Conservatives realize that the temperature of the Earth changes all the time, and that the biggest causes of global temperature change is from the Sun, dust in the solar system and the Earths orbit around the Sun, not from humans. Conservatives also realize that the data used in “Global Warming” calculations is highly variable and not very accurate, and therefore inconclusive. In the 1970’s, Liberals were certain that the Earth was experiencing “Global Cooling.” They were wrong then, and they are wrong now.

If a man is drowning 100 ft. from the shore, a Conservative will throw him 75 ft. of rope and encourage him to swim the other 25 ft. A Liberal will throw him 200 ft. of rope and then drop his end to run off and help somebody else.

Liberals attacked Newt Gingrich relentlessly for accepting a 4 million dollar book deal, but said nothing when Hillary Clinton accepted an 8 million dollar book deal.

Liberals said nothing when Bill Clinton dodged the draft in a letter saying that he “Loathed the military,” but attacked George W. Bush relentlessly for his service in the National Guard.

Liberals called George Bush a warmonger when he used the military to free Kuwait after it had been invaded by Iraq, but they were eerily quit when Bill Clinton bombed places all over the world to divert attention from his impeachment trial.

Liberals found nothing odd when Bill Clinton argued over the definition of “is” is, or when he tried to claim oral sex was not sex. They would have crucified any Conservative who tried to make the same pathetic arguments.

Update: Averie over at Tinmen Don't Dance comments. Her comments on drowning are particularly funny.

 [ send green star]
 
Definition of a liberal April 29, 2007 11:25 AM

A Liberal is someone who will give you the shirt off of somebody else’s back.

A Liberal is someone who will fight to the last drop of somebody else’s blood.

A Liberal is someone who wants to help people, but only with somebody else’s money.

A Liberal believes that the further removed from reality a political philosophy is, the more morally pure it must be.

Liberals support abortion but oppose the death penalty . The mental contortions it takes to be a Liberal are amazing.

A Conservative worships a higher spiritual power. A Liberal worships Government.

If you’re not a liberal by the time you are 18, you don’t have a heart. If you’re not a Conservative by the time your 35, you don’t have a brain.

A Conservative presents his policies in terms of hope. A Liberal presents his policies in terms of fear.

A Liberal believes that Conservatives have no heart, but that is just because there is not blood leaking from a Conservatives heart all the time like there is from a Liberals heart.

A Liberal believes that the primary purpose of Government is to redistribute income from the rich to the poor. A Conservative realizes that the primary purpose of the Government is to provide equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes.

A Liberal believes that all money belongs to the Government, and any of your own money you get to keep is a gift from the Government.

A Conservative believes that a problem is solved by solutions. A Liberal believes a problem is solved by throwing money at it.

Liberals hate what they call “Big Business.” What is their solution, to stop all small businesses from growing so that they will never get bigger?

Liberals hate the idea of “Profit”. If they hate Profit so much, they should give away whatever money they have left over after they pay all their bills. After all, isn’t that what profit is?

A Liberal believes that the Military is an outdated organization that should be an equal opportunity employer, a jobs program for the poor and a place where the feminist agenda can be advanced. A Conservative realizes that the Military’s job is to defend the country.

A Liberal believes that the Court System’s job is to advance the Liberal agenda that can not be passed into law through the normal Government process. A Conservative realizes that the purpose of the Court System is to enforce the laws, not make them.

A Liberal believes that the Government is the best solutions to most problems. A Conservative realizes that the Government is the cause of many problems.

A Conservative believes that the Constitution is meant to limit the power of Government. A Liberal believes that the Constitution is an obstacle to increasing the power of Governments.

Conservatives view Liberals as political opponents. Liberals view Conservatives as evil incarnate.

A Conservative believes that both the costs and benefits of a policy need to be examined. A Liberal believes that cost is no object, as long as somebody else is paying the cost.

A Liberal believes that it takes a village to raise a child. A Conservative realizes it takes parents to raise a child.

A Conservative wants to solve a problem. A Liberal wants a problem to continue so they can use it as an issue to scare people.

A Liberal believes that electricity comes from a plug in the wall. A Conservative knows that electricity is generated in power plants (Liberals in California might eventually learn this fact).

Liberals believe that gasoline comes from a gas pump. Conservatives know that gasoline comes from oil, and that the only way to have enough gasoline is to drill for more oil.

A Liberal believes that it is cruel to hunt animals. A Conservative realizes that is cruel to let animals overgraze and destroy their habitat and let them starve to death.

A Liberal believes that Government control of the economy is the most efficient way to run a country. A Conservative knows that if Government control of the economy was the most efficient way to run a country, Russia would have been the most prosperous country in the world.

Liberals are afraid to call themselves Liberals and instead hide behind the labels “Progressive” or “Moderate.” Conservatives are proud to call themselves Conservatives.

Liberals believe that the center of the political spectrum is what they believe, and that they are a “Moderate”. Anybody to their left is a “Progressive” and anybody to their right is a “Right wing political wacko.”

To a Liberal, an Environmentalist is someone who owns a house in the mountains, and a greedy Developer is someone who wants to build a house in the mountains

A Liberal believes that guns cause crime. A Conservative knows that a gun is an inanimate object and is incapable of performing any action on its own.

A Conservative believes in freedom of speech. A Liberal believes in freedom of speech as long as it doesn’t offend anyone, or contradict what they think, or hurt someone’s feelings, or question politically correct philosophies, or promote conservative causes, or question the power of the Government, or ....

A Liberal believes that schools should teach children about self esteem, the environment, diversity, etc. A Conservative believes that schools should teach children reading, writing, math and history.

A Liberal believes that people should have their cars taken away and be forced to use mass transit. A Conservative believes that people should be free to go where they want when they want.

Liberals want people to live in high density urban environments to combat “Urban Sprawl.” Conservatives want people to have the freedom to live where they choose.

 

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Singalong with Frank April 29, 2007 6:18 AM

http://www.animatronics.org/strangers/strangers.htm  [ send green star]
 
THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED April 27, 2007 5:17 AM

There has been much speculation about a UFO incident that occured on July 8, 1947. On that day an unidentified object, allegedly with five aliens aboard, crashed on a ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.

It has been speculated that this well known incident has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.

However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham; John F. Kerry; William Jefferson Clinton; Howard Dean; Nancy Pelosi; Dianne Feinstein; Charles E. Schumer; and Barbara Boxer were born.

WE REPORT….YOU DECIDE!

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 April 26, 2007 8:51 PM

I can not believe my ears when she starts all that garbage.   [ send green star]
 
 April 26, 2007 7:18 PM

lol I enjoyed that funny strip  Funny  [ send green star]
 
Laugh At Liberals April 26, 2007 4:56 PM

.  [ send green star]
 
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