This is a thread to discuss how parenting has changed since the ever present threat of CPS has been around.
Before your baby is ever born, family and friends give advice on how it should be raised. There are also books and videos, magazine articles, religious beliefs, etc that all influence the decisions that you make when raising your children.
What about natural instincts? We have no problem questioning our own beliefs and feelings because we have been taught to do as others say without question. We go to school and are taught to learn what they tell us to learn...no questions asked. Our natural born curiosity and individualism is crushed under the heavy burden of fitting into a society that believes everyone should think alike.
It's sad because when we become adults, we don't know who we are. We function as robots - doing everything that we have been 'programmed' to do because this is what we conceive as normal behaviour.
If we don't fit into a certain set of standards then we feel as if we have failed somehow. People are quick to criticize and judge someone who fails to demonstrate a 'normal' standard of living. It makes a person scared to be who they really are - to do things that seem normal but are not accepted as normal. For example: An adult that joyously screams at the top of his lungs while hanging from a tree limb is probably going to be perceived as crazy. It may feel insanely good to let go of inhibitions - but they are not normally accepted into our modern society.
So what does this have to do with disciplining our children? Everything! When other people have such a huge influence on us, it directly affects our children. If we are too busy being afraid of what others may think about how we parent our own children, then that natural instinct will stay buried and we will continue to constantly try to be everything for everybody. Our children want to know who we really are. They don't want some artificial 'parent in a box'.
No one watchingThe real person you are is revealed in the moments when you're certain no other person is watching. When no one is watching, you are driven by what you expect of yourself. You're not attempting to impress anyone. You're not putting on a show. You're expressing your true nature.
The foundation of success is built in the moments when no one else is watching. If your efforts are only made for appearance, they will fall short. When you make the effort even though no one else is keeping track, that's a sure path to achievement.
What do you do when no one is watching? You can't keep any secrets from yourself. Success is built in the moments when you're truly free to be you. Make those moments count. Being a real winner is much better than just trying to look like one.
Has anyone watched these two shows? It is amazing that such simple little changes can make such a huge difference. The nanny comes in the home, observes for awhile then points out the good and the bad - then makes a plan to get things going in a more positive direction.
I notice that all of these families have one thing in common. They are all 'well off'. They are disconnected as a family because of the endless pursuit of providing more and more material posessions. They all have far off gazes as if they want to be anywhere else in the world then where they are 'right now'. They don't talk to each other...they talk at each other - or usually yell at each other.
It seems that parents are trying so hard to look like the perfect family - what with the nice house and toys and cars, etc.....that they have forgotten or never learned how to live together as a family. They come to value posessions over their own children and they don't even realize it.
- William James