It is getting harder and harder to go through newsletters and share stories on FB or join in petitions.
I am loosing confidence and heart for animal, human rights and other causes.
I am a huge animal lover and have been dreaming of running a sanctuary for years , recently not just for animals but also for discarded people. I even made a business plan including 'tiny homes' and square foot gardening.
Living in Ireland, my husband and I rescued 3 sibling dogs, along with our old pair (left of the previously rescued 4) and a cat and it is getting harder and harder to feed them, and with the risk of becoming homeless to keep giving them a roof over their head. When people become unemployed and homeless there is no-one interested in their pets. There is not even sufficient help to find a home for ourselves. The fact that there are so many homeless and abused pets is directly caused by the crisis. People either just gave up on them, or take their frustration or angst out on these innocent creatures - and not just on the pets (or farm animals), abuse of children, women and elderly is rising also.
We have been worrying about the future of the capitalist economy for as long as we lived and were not surprised to see the crisis happen, just the fact that it came about so much faster as we anticipated, and after 7 years into the crisis have fallen victim ourselves.
Since 2006 I tried to use my writing talent, my ambitions to organise, to mobilise, but getting nowhere and loosing my faith in the process, until the moment arrived we became really powerless.
Two intelligent, professional and caring people who are stuck on a dead-end road, within a society that has taken so much of our energy, care, hard work and, yes, money; a society that does not acknowledge us, has no interest in who and what we are, has written us off as old and useless.
And we know we are just 2 among many many sad people. Parents who cannot properly care for their children, people losing their self-esteem and integrity, people losing interest in the plight of animals. When one has to fight to survive themselves, the care for others goes out the window.
Too much human suffering to worry about animal and also human causes. And yet, here we are, people around us keep telling us we should give up on our 6 pets, as people come first and they make it difficult to find work, housing etc. And we keep saving food out of our own mouths for them and keep fighting to find a way to stay together. But our anxiety about our and their future is slowly killing us. My husband already had a massive heart attack and is now suffering with major back pains and I am so depressed I have lost my creativity and energy and most of all my self-confidence.
As a Dutchie (being from the Netherlands) I should be on the forefront of all the action, on the barricades for the good and important causes, should be fighting bad politics and abuse - and here I am getting more and more apathetic, along with all those I so desperately want to help and for whom I have always had the right attitude, empathy and drive, but now lost the energy and believe in myself.
There are no easy ways to do more - doing the right thing has become harder and harder and I think the 'establishment' finally won and there is no way back from death to our environment and finally humankind. I cry everyday when I see which animal is extinct, or nearly so, what Monsanto is up to and Bayer, when I see young girls hanging from a tree and families living in a car.
How can I fight and where should I take the fight? No money equals no power. My voice, my writing, my caring heart and mind have no value anymore!
My biggest wish is to be strong again and gather people around me, who also need to gain strength through numbers, the blind supporting the lame so to say. Hold eachother up and through our desperation and fear create a new future for ourselves and those who are weaker than us. I still have the ideas, the power of thought, but I need to believe again and know I am visible and I do count. Only then can we truly bring out our message and find the support to make things happen, and maybe, just maybe, save what is left of our environment and our culture.
To survive we need physical action, combining of forces, first to help ourselves survive and through that start working towards enclaves, societies, groups, whatever way to actively live a better and really social life.
Thanks for your time.