a past due letter to my son/ you asked me to wait!
i was going to go Africa for permanent missionary assignment in 2006. my son was 16, living with his father in another state. i felt useless, unloved. when i asked him what he wanted from me, he said i was to wait. just be there when he needed me. i battled in my sadness but in the end i made the correct choice.
Did I Take The Time?
did i take the time to tell what my heart was thinking?
or was i writing some rhyme to show off?
was i hurt because you didn'tt take time to read me,
or because some popular word jockey blew me off?
you are closer to your father and it causes me some pain.
that you fake sickness and roll your eyes everytime you see me name
on the the caller ID. i want to stop calling
minutes ain't always free.
but my eyes they won't sop bawling.
what is wrong with me/
why would i want to love another child better than my own?
when was the last time you dialed to see if i was home?
but i've said all this before. there's a new note on the door it used to say 'go turn your own knob'. now it's "Out of Patience" with the mommy job! it says ' In different ' on the other side. i have no shame i have no pride. i wasted it all when it was all you needed. now i've come and suceeded at making a waiting staion with a warm fire. ready to fill your hearts desire.
about the racing bike, your dad says i got played. it didn't matter if only you had stayed, and had a cup of coffee before you rode away. i got lost in the blizzard coming home that day. Randy stole the camera, i didn't get the pictures either. strike a point for the great deceiver! but if you were to call with that sound of wounded pain the fact you called would make me do it all again
i've learned something about loving you, i won't soon forget. you take the good and the bad , whatever i can get. i ain't no fool, so unconditionally to forgive and be forgiven, that is my plea. so when the day comes and my life is faded. i did all i could, i came and i waited.
as a child i wanted to be a nun but i paid my way thru college as a stripper.
My Philosophy
you can't fix stupid but God can!!
What Gives Me Hope
waking up every morning
If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by
mayor:the library would be open 24/7. Governor: free
college in exchange for work programs[non-military].President:all persons in prisons for life taking crimes would be assigned to un-armed war zone duty such as water trucks, toilet cleaning and mine field evac removal.
What/who changed my life and why
a woman named ruth bronson. she gave me a place to live, food to eat and showed me the true meaning of Grace.
folks and days in my life
(Aug 1)
once I wore nothing but hats online to raise money for the homeless. It was called The shirt off my back Campaign!...
more »
Wednesday, Feb. 24th 2010 is coming
(Feb 21)
i will be 56 years old, married, saved and in love with Lord Jesus Christ.
my son is 21, working a job with insurance and benefi...
more »
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i looked down the calender of the summer just passed and wonder how i made through with my spirt intact. may-mother went into a coma 2 years ago june- mothers birthday july4th-great, granddads birthday, passed away. july8th-mother passed away 2 years ago aug16-anniversary of the death after 7 minutes of life of my first born son. sept 11-death of all my remaining friends in NYC. their building collapsed in the shadow of the world trade center. sept 12th-grandfather passes at 90 yearsof age. I am an orphan. i have buried my entire past. i am joined by my beloved son and my husband of 2 years. he also is ophan. a member of the United States Air Force Reserves, will be reitiring in november. then it will be just us and our church family. but we are blessed.
Who am I today: I am the mother of a 21 y/o son,who is now working and going to school himself. I was trained in catering at Marriott through Manpower starting at the Public school kitchen level, moving my way up to Executive Service, catering breakfast setups, luncheon meetings and private hosting for Marriott affairs on call with travel salary included. My son moved to Omaha with his father to learn how to be a man. I follwed to Kansas City, Missouri. I Secured a job at John Knox Village, where I resumed work in Hospice and Alzheimer care, a job i had pursued and studied for before the birth of my son. I had worked In Boston, Mass. with The Little Sisters of the Poor at their ICCU and final rest facilites also through Manpower. I was hurt on the job causing damage which has taken years to repair. During these years I worked in missonary capacity along with the Don Bosco society for Cuban immigration.
snowed in and loving it. just me, my husband and alex the dog. eating, singing and watching movies to our hearts content. many prayers came in between and all our prayers have been answered. the power has not gone out. Praise Him!!! New Years Eve we had a royal feast including black eyed peas. New Years day we started with fasting and prayer. now fasting is over and i have made a stew that commands even the dogs attention. Robert is finishing the pumpkin pie, i am pied out from Christmas's sweet potato binge. now for the next big day on the calendar, january 10th. my son will be 21. lookout Omaha. Blessings to all of you until next time. faith!
i just saw a commentary on the 'invisible children' of Africa. how everyone started their attention in Dafur only to find a 20 year war of genocide and abduction in Uganda. i was horrified. the children slept in piles, body on body to keep from being abducted and made to fight.
If any one has more info, please email me felynett marie