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5 Of The Dumbest Things You’ll Hear About LGBTs This Week

5 Of The Dumbest Things You’ll Hear About LGBTs This Week

The Religious Rights’ attack on LGBT families is odious. The opportunity for hilarious, bizarre and baffling soundbites, however, is plentiful. Here are five you’ll find it hard to believe are even real.

1) Gay Marriage is A Straight Tax Dodge

Georgia GOP chair Sue Everhart, when she’s not commenting on how gays don’t have the right equipment to be together, doesn’t buy all this marriage equality malarkey. Oh no, she’s on to you sneaky straight people:

You may be as straight as an arrow, and you may have a friend that is as straight as an arrow. Say you had a great job with the government where you had this wonderful health plan. I mean, what would prohibit you from saying that you’re gay, and y’all get married and still live as separate, but you get all the benefits? I just see so much abuse in this it’s unreal. I believe a husband and a wife should be a man and a woman, the benefits should be for a man and a woman. There is no way that this is about equality. To me, it’s all about a free ride.

As others have pointed out, this ridiculousness sounds a lot like the plot to the bludgeon-me-with-the-remote-as-this-is-painfully-unfunny Adam Sandler film I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry. It’s also a new level of stupidity.

This isn’t an argument against gay marriage. If you were going to commit marriage fraud, why would you bother with the “skim milk” way various governments (including the federal government) treat same-sex couples and not go for the full-fat opposite sex marriage? No, Everhart, you just talked yourself out of straights marrying straights. Kudos.

 

2) Gays and Lesbians Responsible for Majority of Murders in Major Cities

Dave Agema, Michigan Republican National Committeeman, has found himself in a spot of bother after taking to his Facebook page to bemoan the homosexuals and their “filthy” lives. Stay with me, it gets better.

Rather than backing down in the face of intense calls for him to apologize or resign, he’s decided to start offering “reems” [sic] of  evidence to show he’s right. Except he’s having a hard time finding legitimate sources. And then, when prompted by press inquiries into whether he supports the notion that gay and lesbian people account for a higher number of murders, suicides and diseases in major cities, something raised by an anti-gay article Agema cited, he said:

“I not only believe it, it’s substantiated by several different articles and studies. That’s just a fact.”

And it’s just a fact that those figures are a mangled heap. Strangely, the pressure for Agema to resign has only intensified.

 

3) Gay Marriage and Gay Boy Scouts Are Provoking North Korea

This one stands on its own. Frank Luter, the president of the Southern Baptist Convention, speaking to “TruNews” saying:

“I would not be surprised that at the time when we are debating same-sex marriage, at a time when we’re debating whether or not we should have gays leading the Boy Scout movement, I don’t think it’s just a coincidence that we have a mad man in Asia who is saying some of the things that he’s saying.”

But, to be fair, he does offer the caveat that he’s “not that strong in prophecy.” You can listen to the audio here.

 

4) Gays Hate God, The Flag, Mom and Apple Pie

You remember Kansas Congressman Tim Huelskamp, right? He’s the guy that really doesn’t want gays marrying on military bases. The vexed congressman decided to write a decidedly rhetoric-heavy piece for the Washington Times on Monday in which he decries “The war on marriage and motherhood.”

It was hard to just pick one untruth, one flagrant lie, aimed at the LGBT community, so I decided to go for the following laugh-out-loud paranoia that the gay agenda together with political correctness has destroyed:

… yet another pillar of the American paradigm for our patriotic, wholesome culture — “God, the flag, mom and apple pie.” Activist judges have already expelled faith from the public square (forbidding the Ten Commandments, a cross in remembrance of our military heroes, and Christmas Nativity scenes) and decriminalized burning the Stars and Stripes in public. The First Lady’s “Let’s Move!” initiative and New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s sugary-drink ban suggest the days of consuming apple pie might well be numbered.

I enjoy the part where Huelskamp conveniently forgets Bloomberg is a Republican. Also, we gays love our mothers — duh!

 

5)  Ronald Reagan’s Son Thinks Gay Marriage is Like Murder

68-year-old Michael Reagan took time out to hyperventilate this past week about Republican-infighting and the Supreme Court marriage equality cases, saying:

“It’s ultimately about changing the culture of the entire country; it inevitably will lead to teaching our public school kids that gay marriage is a perfectly fine alternative and no different than traditional marriage.

“There is also a very slippery slope leading to other alternative relationships and the unconstitutionality of any law based on morality. Think about polygamy, bestiality, and perhaps even murder.”

It’s strange, though, that the only people who really do seem preoccupied with “polygamy, bestiality, and perhaps even murder” are always those belonging to the Religious Right.

 

Related Reading:

Pope Decides Gay People Aren’t Fully Developed Humans

Return of the Gay Panic Defense in Marcus McMillian’s Murder Case

Conservatives Admit: Letting Gays Marry Will Not Affect Their Own Marriages

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Image credit: Thinkstock.

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151 comments

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5:27AM PDT on May 3, 2013

Brava, Norma J., that was a really funny post! I especially loved the

"Heck it even requires a male and female connection to produce electricity."

I was in tears, I laughed so hard at that one! You're such a card. Oh, oh, oh! Do one on legalizing marijuana. Take the pro-legalization side this time. (I can hardly wait to see what you come up with!)

2:12PM PDT on Apr 28, 2013

All I can say is that people who spend so much time arguing against LGBT, have something to hide. I'm not saying I know for a fact they are closet cases, but Narnia comes to mind when I read about their theories.

2:29AM PDT on Apr 15, 2013

thanks for sharing

12:29PM PDT on Apr 12, 2013

Read Norma J's comment and see if you can find any difference from the type of things fundamentalist Muslims say. I don't think you will find many.
Many ancient cultures which lasted thousands of years accepted homosexuality as a fact of life. It's only modern religions which want to keep their power by making their followers have more children than is reasonable. This is easy for them since most are men and don't care if the women become so weakened by frequent child bearing that they die. Birth control and abortion threaten their position by giving women choices which would limit the number of children they bear and thus reduce the size of the churches base.

9:22AM PDT on Apr 12, 2013

The Bible teaches that "God is love." To me, it means that wherever a loving relationship exists, God is present in it.

7:55AM PDT on Apr 12, 2013

Dont even no what the heck to say..

8:17AM PDT on Apr 10, 2013

Norma J.,

I'm trying to figure out your first question and am assuming you are talking about God creating both species so we can populate. Considering how many children die every day in this world from lack of food and water, I would rather us take care of the people here before overpopulating the planet any further. I think many young married feel this way too, most of the ones I know have no children. Google "How many children starve to death every day" and you'll get a current count. I know not many American children starve, but wouldn't God want all children to have access to food and water?



The second paragraph said "Love based on emotions instead of substance is totally dysfunctional". I think that sentence is one of the most bizarre things I have seen posted in a long time. I believe love is the greatest emotion there is and the most powerful force on earth. As far as I'm concerned, if you marry someone for their "substance" without having a deep emotional bond with them, you are in for an unhappy marriage. If the word lust had been used instead of love, it would have made more sense to me.

I always find it strange when people use the Bible to fit their specific agenda and not truly follow it's teaching. Jesus never once mentioned homosexuality yet we keep hearing about how evil and ungodly they are. The teachings of Jesus I read preached about helping the poor and the needy and to treat people kindly. Republicans are all about making rich people richer a

5:58PM PDT on Apr 9, 2013

April Fools? Right? No?

Then holy balderdash! where do they come up with these statements?

3:20PM PDT on Apr 9, 2013

Luvenia V. and Lyn B.
I cannot send stars or hit a "like" button, but thanks to the both of you. You are both really great with outstanding minds. Please keep up the good work, as there is so much to be done to make this earth a good place for one and ALL! Again, much thanks.

12:44PM PDT on Apr 9, 2013

Why would God create both male and female IF people only required one sexual identity to fulfill His life requirements? There is no debate about how life is formed in the womb of humanity.
Love based on emotions instead of substance is totally dysfunctional.
Heck it even requires a male and female connection to produce electricity.
Thankful that I have seen the brilliance found only in natural childbirth as established by our Divine Creator with His Sanctification of Blood Lines that flows between the male husband
and female wife.
All else is pretense and in vain.

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