It Is Not What We Say to Black Men, It Is What We Do to Them

By†Laura W. Murphy, ACLU Washington

Over the past month, Iíve listened to the public conversation unfolding around Trayvon Martinís death. Across the nation Ė from race relations experts at the best universities to average Americans at the dinner table Ė everyone is debating: What role did race play in the 17-year-oldís shooting and the policeís subsequent actions?

It seems that answer depends on in whose shoes you are standing. Recently, a†USA Today/Gallup Poll showed a racial divide between blacks and whites in how they view the shooting of this young black man, dressed in a hoodie, who dared to walk at night through his upper-income housing development in Sanford, Florida. According to the poll, majority of white Americans feel that race made no difference in the case.

From where Iím standing, thatís naÔve and wishful thinking. In my profession, Iíve seen first-hand how much work we still have ahead to achieve racial justice in our country. In fact, on April 17, Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) held a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on racial profiling in America in an effort to explore what can be done to combat the use of racial stereotyping in law enforcement.

More than academic, it’s personal

But for me, this conversation about Trayvon and racial profiling extends beyond an academic and political discussion. Itís real, everyday life for a mother of a young black man. Long before Trayvon was killed, I felt a special sensitivity to how society treats people who look like my 22-year-old, caramel-skin son. Thatís why I could not raise my son to be colorblind. To do so would put his life in peril.

When my son was just 9 years old, the ACLU issued a report,†Driving While Black: Racial Profiling On Our Nationís Highways. The report chronicled the harassment Black motorists and pedestrians face on our streets and highways and was filled with gut-wrenching stories of police stops gone awry involving Black drivers and white police officers. I could no longer ignore that one day, this could happen to my son. When the time came, unlike the parents of his white classmates, I consciously delayed his getting a driverís license. I stalled and dissembled because I was fearful. Instead of getting his license at 16, he got it at 18.

Always on alert

Knowing what I know, Iíve done my best to protect my son by teaching him to anticipate prejudice and understand that for some, his skin color is an invitation to scorn and mistreatment. As a precaution, heís learned to modulate his voice and swagger so he does not come across as threatening. He also speaks three languages: cultured English (making it clear he is educated), conversational Spanish and the language of his hip-hop generation.

Still, he has faced harassment. He has been stopped by the police while driving in a predominantly white, upper-middle class neighborhood. He has been followed around by security personnel in local, upscale stores like Bloomingdaleís and Neiman Marcus. And heís been treated like a potential criminal by a neighbor who recently ran inside and locked his door when my son smiled and waved while walking down the street wearing a hoodie.

Heís grown accustomed to this. Now, when he comes home from college, he says he has trouble trusting some of his most well-intentioned neighbors when he is standing in a group of young black men on his street. I understand why. James Baldwin, the late famous black novelist, essayist and public intellectual, pegged it when he wrote: ďI canít believe what you say, because I see what you do.Ē Oftentimes, what his neighbors do is cross the street when they see him coming.

In response, I have done all I can to make it easier for him. Six years ago, when he was home on summer break from boarding school, I sent an email to the neighbors who may not know: ďDonít be alarmed if you see a black kid walking around; heís my son and he lives here.Ē

For all the women who stand in my shoes, itís hard to believe that race didnít play a role in Trayvonís death. I feel deeply for Travyonís mother; sheís living my worst fear.

I also feel that this is not just a lack and white issue. These are the same concerns for Latino mothers in Arizona, Alabama and any place there are ill-conceived immigration policies enforced. I sympathize with any parent who is Arab, Muslim or South Asian who anxiously waits at the airport, wondering what harassment their children may face because of the name on their tickets or how they are dressed.

We cannot be satisfied with legal equality when for many of us, it is of limited value in the face of our actual day-to-day experience. Unless Americans work together to end the practice of racial profiling Ė not just in law enforcement but in the larger social fabric Ė the precautions I and many other parents of color take may never be enough.

Another Parentís View

By William Psillas

I write from a different perspective. As Lauraís husband, I am the stepfather of this same young Black man. In contrast to Lauraís history, I am an ordinary white male. So the concerns I have Ė and the questions they raise, in our own family unit, in this young Black manís life, and, as a microcosm, in the American experience at large Ėare different.

When I hear his motherís messages to him that he must be sensitive to his skin color, no matter how beautiful it is, with admonishments that not doing so is a danger, it is arresting. Likewise, when I hear the conversations he and his young Black friends have about their place in America, I not only hear the specific dangers to which she refers, I hear other dangers that are stifling, diminishing and flat-out obstacles to the kind of life any of us would want for our children. It comes through loud and clear that racism continues to be a strong force in America. And, I think, when you get right down to it, this continues to be true because the hearts and souls on all sides of the equation, no matter how well intentioned, are not there yet.

I wish every caring white American could be sensitized to the pain, suffering and diminishment that is embodied in the minority mindset. This is not a black issue, an Asian, Hispanic, a Jewish or Muslim issue Ė itís everyoneís issue. I wish every caring white American could see that laws and rights and diversity initiatives, while helpful, will not resolve the issue by itself. It also requires genuinely extending your heart and soul, compassionately and over a sustained period, because there is much residue and much distrust to overcome.

Seeing life through another’s eyes

I wish every caring black person (this could well be true of other minority populations but I live in a black family and hear their conversations first-hand) could also understand his or her role in perpetuating prejudice. I think, for example, black people give white people far too much credit for being intentionally discriminating when I think much of what fires Blacks up about whites results from our insensitivity, ignorance or oblivion. We simply canít see life through anotherís eyes and, to put it bluntly, weíre mostly concerned with ourselves. Those who donít face racial discrimination just donít think nearly as much about Black/white issues.

Frankly, I think weíd forward the ball if we all just owned up to the fact that there is prejudice in each of us. That may open the door to a different and more generous conversation toward a resolution. It would be more effective than simply debating whether there is prejudice, who owns it, and whoís accountable for fixing it. Whether prejudice exists as an active element of our social fabric is a foolish question. Itís in and around us every day – just look and listen.


Related stories:

Update: Trayvon Martin Case Developments

From Emmett Till to Trayvon Martin: How Black Women Turn Grief †into Action

Rodney King on Trayvon Martin



Photo from the ACLU


AbdulAziz A.
AbdulAziz A.4 years ago

Don,t know why the pale skinned people think they are superior than others. They have however made the best killing weapons and therefore hold the upper hand.

AbdulAziz A.
AbdulAziz A.4 years ago

Don,t know why the pale skinned people think they are superior than others. They have however made the best killing weapons and therefore hold the upper hand.

Catt R.
Catt R.4 years ago

Most black people can not trace their family tree..... that was taken from them when they were kidnapped and sold. ------- many can not trace their family tree because at least one of their ancestors was a white man who arranged to have the infant sent to another county and sold so as not to dirty their good name by letting it be known they used the slaves for their sexual fun....
As a people we should be trying to give back what we can of what was taken from them, we can not turn back history and change it, but instead of accusing our brothers and sisters of trying to "take the system for all they can" maybe we could show some love, act as if we FINALLY figured out the prior treatment of them was wrong and treat them as fellow human beings instead of saying that because of what our ancestors did to them they are less than really human........
Do you also believe that antisemitism is caused by those who say the Nazis were wrong???

Catt R.
Catt R.4 years ago

".." we can all see that you are strong in your beliefs----- you will not even give us the consideration of a made-up name but feel that ".." is enough and we are to accept your twisted views as the real thing........... I do not for a minute believe that the issue with racism is that black people are trying to play the system for all they can get.... the main problem is folks who think that !!!
Generations ago our ancestors treated their ancestors in a disgusting manner ----- ripped them from their natural life within their villages and families/ put them in chains, on a ship, took them 1/2 way around the world and sold them as if they were property/less than human. The new owners were either kindly or not.... consider today, how there are all those jokes and comments about shepherds having sex with the sheep and the like......... Some of the owners used the females as sex slaves, they had no rights, and if a man got his jollies by beating a woman almost to death or even cutting into their flesh with a knife and having sex with the wound so be it...... these were human beings treated so incredibly badly at the hands of other humans.... some just bred them to whomever (like a puppy mill operation) to 'improve the breed' and would take and sell off their children for profit.
Most black people can not trace their family tree..... that was taken from them when they were kidnapped and sold. ------- many can not trace their family tree because at least one of their ancest

Catt R.
Catt R.4 years ago

Ernest..... you claim that black people are more violent because there are so many in prison..... yes statically there is a much higher percentage of blacks in prison than whites.... partly due to finance, partly due to racism NOT because being black means you are a violent criminal but because blacks are viewed as 'a problem', less deserving of the good things in life, unclean, and despised by so many whites. ------- to follow your (flawed) logic........... Americans as a nation should not be allowed to travel to other countries. The United States has the highest prison population in the world, almost double what other countries have.... so Americans are basically ALL violent criminals and should not be allowed in polite society (read in civilized countries).
Everyone should try to love their fellow humans, not always attempt to abuse and degrade them, in an attempt to make ourselves look better..... such behavior is disgusting.

nicola w.
Jane H.4 years ago

This is just saying it like it is ...the kids need to be told they are in danger and that the world is racist - being politically correct and pretending the world is an equal place is not sensible.

Ernest R.
Ernest R.4 years ago

@ Stephen B.. “Second, does treating every interracial killing as a hate-crime help or hinder anti-racist efforts? “ That is not the case. Only when bkacks are killed by whites is it advertised as a hate crime. When blacks kill whites or other blacks, it is virtually ignored.

Ernest R.
Ernest R.4 years ago

@ Jane B.. “Nobody wants to kill their own relatives.” Sorry Jane. There is a reason that the first suspect in a murder is a spouse or other family member. Beige people kill each other every day.

Ernest R.
Ernest R.4 years ago

@ Nyack C.. “Does the WHITE community need to get their young criminals off the streets” That might not be a bad idea, especially if the white kids had as high a proportion of criminals, “gangstas” car boosters, Crips and Bloods gangs etc as the black kids. Or perhaps you are not aware that that is the case ? Judging people by the color of their skin rather than their actions as you do is racist, -(and you are apparently too ignorant to realise it)

Jane Barton
Jane Barton4 years ago

Intermarriage is the answer. Nobody wants to kill their own relatives. In the future everybody will be beige.