Can Helicopter Parenting Hurt Your Kid’s Chances At A Job?

It may sound ludicrous at first – surely, parents understand that their children have to grow up someday, don’t they? Parents who are focused on and involved in their child’s education can be the key to academic success. And helping your teen apply for their first job can be reassuring, as long as they want the help — but would a parent really assume it appropriate to meddle in their adult children’s job applications?

According to a recent survey by Michigan State University, increasing numbers of parents are doing exactly that. Nearly a third of the 700+ employers surveyed said that parents of recent college graduates had submitted resumes on their children’s behalf. A quarter said that they’d gotten calls from parents, urging the employer to hire their child. And in 4% of cases, parents actually showed up to the interview with their child!

Some companies interviewed by NPR are skeptical about this new trend, one human resources manager going so far as to say employers should have a policy of speaking only with the prospective employee. Margaret Fiester also added that parents applying on behalf of their children or contacting employers, “definitely does not show great leadership or decision-making skills.”

But others are saying that companies need to get parents on their side. Neil Howe, a consultant on generational trends, points out that schools have decided to try to work with and accommodate helicopter parents over the last decade. “Every time a teacher [resisted], that parent, who was so attached to their kid, would become that teacher’s worst enemy,” he told NPR. He compares companies reaching out to parents to schools giving parents the ability to monitor their child’s progress online, or colleges creating an Office of Parent Relations.

It does make a sort of sense. This is a difficult and confusing time for new college grads just entering the workforce. They may not be sure how to negotiate the best salary or benefits. They may be desperate for a job to help pay off their student loans. Certainly, many of them are probably turning to their parents for advice – but are some parents crossing the line from helping their child to actively hindering them?

While there may be a few companies opening their arms to the parents of their potential employees, there must be many others out there who would dismiss an application from a parent without a second thought. And are these children really learning how to take initiative and achieve on their own in the adult world?

More to the point: is this the end result of “helicopter” parenting? Do parents who feel the need to manage every aspect of their child’s life in school raise adults capable of handling the challenges of the real world? Maybe more research needs to be done, but the trend is troubling. What are these people going to do when they have families and children of their own?

Ultimately, this study shows that parents who micromanage their children’s lives can have a far-reaching impact, even once their son or daughter has left the classroom for good. Exactly what that means has yet to be seen.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Sarah M.

12:45PM PST on Mar 5, 2012

These parents are terrible because they only make their children's lives much harder in the end by not preparing them. It's not fair to the kids.

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Marilyn J L.

9:16AM PST on Feb 24, 2012

This doesn't surprise me. I work "rush" at a large university bookstore. Students show up with no ID whatsoever, with parents filling out necessary student forms, parents doing everything for the student short of actually going to class. (And I occasionally have my doubts about that.) We're not talking freshmen away from home for the first time; we're talking juniors & seniors. Surprised not to find them accompanying their grad-student children!

Involved and aware parents are essential. Parents who try to live their children's lives, who try to protect them from, instead of prepare them for, life -- just get in the way.

Virginia B.

6:29PM PST on Feb 23, 2012

Any parent turning up at a job interview with their offspring would immediately put me on guard and off! What does this say about the applicant??

RobynRobyn B.

3:44PM PST on Feb 23, 2012

If I was an employer and I had someone turn up to an interview with their parents in tow, I would not want to hire that person. I would want someone that I felt was mature and independent. I think in the long run helicopter parents do more harm than good.

Huda G.

11:48AM PST on Feb 23, 2012

I remember my Mum telling me that "Letting GO' is the hardest thing, which I found very strange as my daughter was days old!!
She was right, but as a parent we must let go, and let our kids move forward. When I got married she also said the door was always"Öpen", which gave me the confidence to move forward knowing if I needed them I could go home!
I've always tried to treat me kids the same, teaching them skills to move forward but being around if needed.
We always want what's best but sometimes parents and kids have a different idea of Best!
We need to stand back be a friend, offer advice and let them get on with it!

Joan M.

9:01PM PST on Feb 22, 2012

No companies are not hiring the parents, they are now young adults and must stand up by themselves, mummy & daddy can't go through life with them holding their hands.

Sherrie B.

7:06PM PST on Feb 22, 2012

If I were hiring, and I have hired a few people in my day, I would not hire somebody (post-college) whose parents had submitted their application or who showed up for an interview with their parents. As an employer I would want to hire those with initiative and the ability to problem solve on their own. Helicoptor parenting denies these essential skills to most children. Of course, asking parents for help composing a resume or even in mock interviews is fine, but the application and interview process should be the child's alone.

I am shocked at how unskilled some kids are out there. When I went to grad school, I remember standing in line at the university post office when a young lady approached me. She told me she had never mailed anything on her own before. She had always given it to her mother who had mailed it so she had no idea how it worked. I politely explained the process and showed her the machine where you could buy stamps or that she could wait in line to buy stamps. I didn't say anything to her but I was appalled that her mother had never shown her how to do something as simple as mailing a letter. I wonder what else that poor girl didn't know how to do.

Bethany D.

3:07PM PST on Feb 22, 2012

Parents really needs to recognize boundaries and be teaching self-sufficiency. How can you not realize that the overprotection is damagingyour child??

marc p.

2:27PM PST on Feb 22, 2012

Helicopter parenting has castrated our children and created several generations of completely helpless and unmotivated people who simply cannot make decisions. I would NEVER consider hiring anyone who brought their mommy along for the interview. As a matter of fact I would not even allow the interview. If at the age of over 16 years of age you still need your mom this much then you are not ready to engage in the day to day decision making processes that work involves. Parents are supposed to raise their kids so that they will become independent. But today's parents instead "Helicopter" around them, not allowing any independent thinking and not allowing the kids to make their own mistakes. Why??? I believe that this is because it makes the parents feel "Needed." And is nothing more than a psychological sop. I also think it is extremely selfish and damaging to a child.

2:23PM PST on Feb 22, 2012