Until Lt. John Pike was caught on camera dousing peaceful UC Davis protesters with pepper spray, Defense Technology’s Amazon offering was languishing review-less. Now over 300 people have weighed with a form of creative protest.

You’ll be the envy of all of your jack-booted thug friends when you deal out some major pain and suffering to people who have the nerve to exercise their right to peaceful protest in Amurca. Be a YouTube hit! Become a meme! With a little luck, you could even become the world-wide poster boy for fascism. D. Hobby

The helpful orange dye tells you who you’ve sprayed already, and who needs a second or third dose. It says no closer than six feet, but I found that 2-3 feet greatly increased the chances of ingestion. I understand that if you can manage to force the protesters to swallow this stuff it makes them cough up blood for hours, a total bonus for those of us who think civil rights are too special for anybody but the privileged to have and enjoy. Technowitch

The Wal-Mart pepper spray incident inspired other reviews:

Finally, I can make my family shut up with a quick (or long) spray of this freedom defending spray. And holiday shopping has never been easier! See a sale you want to get to before anyone else? Just point and spray into the crowds and watch them run away!! Not happy with the price of that new iPad? Just point and spray into the eyes of the hippster Apple store employee! Annoyed waiting in line with the little one to visit Santa? You know what to do!!! Andrew Gilbert

I was pleased to see that this product worked so well! Normally, whenever I have an “irate customer”, I just smile, node my head, and give them whatever the hell they want. Now, with this amazing, one-of-a-kind product, I won’t have to do that anymore! Tsathoggua

Some of the reviewers responded to attorney Megyn Kelly’s comment on Fox News that pepper spray is “a food product essentially.”

I am stunned at how versatile this product is. In a fit of desperation I used it to season my turkey and it came out delicious! Just the right amount of tang and zip. I am aware, however, that it’s usage is not restricted to seasoning and marinating. I plan to use it at our next church retreat, just in case somebody sings “Kumbaya” out of tune. In the kitchen, around the campfire, in the classroom and the quad…I cannot recommend this product more highly. Wry Zone

Now, whenever my students don’t do their homework, I make them sit on the floor and hold up a sign reading “I don’t need to do work” as I walk past them and give ‘em a good old pepper spraying. The school reasoned that it doesn’t count as bodily harm, because after all, it’s just a food derivative. Basically, I’m feeding the kids! At first, I had to make over 20 signs in order to get all the kids, but now, I rarely have one person up there. I’m sure my law-enforcing friends would be proud. LOLamonster

The company may be uncomfortable with the sardonic reviews, but eCop! Police Supply does not appear worried about sales for what it calls, “the world’s most widely used pepper spray in law enforcement and corrections.”

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