Disabled Spouses Forced to Live Apart, Judge Doesn’t See a Problem with It

Marriage: ’til death do you part, right? Unless, it turns out, you’re disabled, in which case you can only be together when the people around you say so, as Paul Forziano and Hava Samuels learned when they married and their respective group homes refused to accommodate them. After a lengthy legal battle, a New York judge has dismissed their case, stating that they couldn’t show sufficient evidence of discrimination. While they’re headed back to the drawing board with an appeal, the judge’s commentary on the case could be bad news for the disability community.

It all started when the two met eight years ago during a day program at the Maryhaven Center of Hope. Both have developmental disabilities, and live in group settings so they can access the support and care they need to live comfortably. The two became fast friends and their friendship developed into something more, which evolved into a long engagement, and then a wedding in early 2013. They, and their parents, assumed that they’d be able to find accommodations together as a married couple, operating under the assumption that married people typically live together after marriage.

However, both group homes turned them down. Samuels’ day home suggested that it didn’t think she was ready for marriage, and both thought it would be too disruptive or too difficult to accommodate a married couple. Her home also refused to provide her with sexual education or resources she could use to make informed decisions about her sexuality. The decision set off a quest that become national news as the couple looked for a place to call home together — and ultimately settled in a placement offered by another facility.

While this might have been the end of their story, they and their parents had concerns. What would happen in the future if they needed an alternative placement? Could they face a similarly discriminatory situation that would deprive them of each other’s company? For that matter, what about other disabled people facing the same problem? People with a wide variety of disabilities fall in love and decide to marry, and their right to spend their lives with their partners should be protected.

So they took the case to court, suing their former group homes on the grounds of disability discrimination. The landmark case positioned both parties as people who had a right to make choices about where they lived and who they lived with — and Judge Leonard Wexler didn’t agree. He believed that any discrimination that took place was on the grounds of their marital status, not disability status, and thus that the suit didn’t have merit. His decision to dismiss the case may reflect larger precedents in caselaw as well as legislation, or it may not. That remains to be seen when the couple takes the suit to an appellate court for another opinion.

The case certainly presents an unusual legal precedent: disabled people are rather alone in that where they live can be dictated by outside forces like the state as well as administrators of group homes and similar facilities. This can result in separation from their spouses, which would seem like a form of disability discrimination, and as the case winds its way through the courts, it has the potential to become something even larger.

Like Olmstead, a historic legal decision affirming the right of disabled people to live in their communities, this case could become another proving ground for a key cornerstone of disability rights: the ability to share your life with your partner.

Photo credit: Kumon.

59 comments

Janice Thompson
Janice Thompson2 years ago

Government is preventing marriages for older citizens because they would lose so much. There are no guarantees in life. I have known several couple that wanted to be married, but the benefits would be cut so much; No incurring benefits until after two years...

Keeping a handicapped spousal couple together would be less expense on government too.

Jennifer H.
Jennifer H.2 years ago

i totally don't understand this one. What was the age that needed sex ed? It just didn't make sense to me to be forced to live in separate quarters. Would a separate / new location accept them both? I may not have understood the topic.

Shannon Moody
Shannon Moody2 years ago

that's terrible

Jane R.
Jane R.2 years ago

Let them remain together! Any home can make the necessary arrangements. Nursing homes have two people to a room so this should not be a problem.

kathrynelizabet Etier

Stupid judge.

Sheri Schongold
Sheri Schongold2 years ago

There is no reason for keeping the couple apart. If there are no facilities for them and others who want to live together, then a facility should be adapted so married couples can be together. Sex education can come from the mother but it wouldn't hurt the facility to reinforce it.

Mary H.
Mary H.2 years ago

I am assuming the original facilities are single-gender and a dormatory type, where each person has their own room but all other spaces are common. Allow a man to live in the women's dorm invites rape or the accusation of it. The women lose their privacy. Allow a woman to move into the men's facility also invites problems.

I do not believe this is discrimination any more than I believe it would be discrimination to disallow a high-schooler from enrolling in middle school. It is inappropriate; the facility was not designed for it.

I am glad they found a home that would take a married couple. But I don't think their original facilities discriminated against them.

Luna starr
luna starr2 years ago

sticky topic

Lin M
Lin M2 years ago

I think they should be able to make this a nice place for any couple
wanting to be married. Why let them marry but not allow them to stay
together? It doesn't matter what is wrong in your body, every one falls
in love sooner or later.

Maria Teresa Schollhorn

Noted. Thanks