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Goat Thongs to Roses: A History of Valentine’s Day

  • by
  • February 7, 2013
  • 6:30 pm
Goat Thongs to Roses: A History of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a lot of things. Romantic. Consumerist. Depressing. Annoying. Sweet. But what most people don’t know is that it’s also pagan, rather gory, and was originally related to… goats?

Valentine’s Day started out as Lupercalia, an ancient Roman festival to promote fertility. Held February 13-15, Lupercalia basically involved naked men running around the streets of Rome slapping women with goat-skin thongs. (For some reason, this was thought to increase fertility.)

Of course, all this pagan debauchery wasn’t really popular with the local Christian leaders. So, much like with other holidays, in 496, Pope Gelasius I declared “Valentine’s Day” a Christian holiday, marking the date as the 14th. However, the inspiration behind the holiday is still a mystery. While rumors circulate of Saint Valentine, a martyr who secretly married couples against the law and, languishing in prison, wrote his beloved a letter signed, “From your Valentine,” this tale is probably apocryphal. The truth is that there are three Valentines, all saints, and all killed in bloody and horrific ways; we have no idea which of them, if any, is behind our present-day holiday.

Along with the most famous Valentine, there is also the priest Valentine, who restored the sight of a blind girl and then fell in love with her; he was later beheaded. Last was another priest, who was tortured in the ACE 200s under Pope Claudius II.

However, the first real Valentine’s Day began in 1382, when Geoffrey Chauncer, in his poem “Parliament of Fowls” wrote that birds mated on “Seynt Valentyne’s Day.” While originally describing bird mating, at some point this sentiment migrated over to humans.

Then, a few decades later, the Duke of Orleans wrote what is commonly regarded as the oldest valentine, a rhyming love poem sent from prison to his wife Bonne. As with the first Valentines, his tale ended tragically; Bonne died before her husband could return to her.

As the years passed, more and more people began sending letters and cards to loved ones to mark the special occasion. And, in 1913, the foundations of the modern Valentine’s Day were laid when Hallmark put out their first Valentine’s Day card.

From there, VDay has gotten progressively more consumerist and, frankly, less nice, with women conditioned to expect flowers, chocolates, and/or jewelry as a sort of litmus test for their partners’ love. Hopefully, soon enough that ridiculous tradition will end; for many couples, it already has. But if your significant other complains about a lack of flowers, chocolates, or breakfast in bed on Valentine’s Day, feel free to remind them that at least there aren’t naked Roman men with goat thongs running around.

Related Stories:

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Photo credit: Thinkstock

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1:07PM PST on Feb 16, 2013

The history of Valentine's Day is so interesting!

3:38AM PST on Feb 16, 2013

Yup, i agree that Valentine's Day is now quite meaningless with people expecting their loved ones/other halves to do the customary stuff, if not...? Will Valentine's Day lead to heartbreaks and more miscommunications if people just expect to receive gestures of love instead of making loving gestures to others? Love is many a splendid thing, may we be blessed to love and be loved every day of our lives :)

10:59AM PST on Feb 14, 2013

OOOH..just give me chocolate:)

7:56AM PST on Feb 14, 2013

thank you

10:51AM PST on Feb 12, 2013

First of all... writing out VDay looks a little, well.... like a day for celebrating STDs! chuckle
Secondly, I see NOTHING WRONG with a bunch of naked Italian men running around!!! As a matter of fact, it would make my day much more fun! I say, bring back Lupercalia!!!

4:36AM PST on Feb 12, 2013

Interesting, thank you :)

3:36AM PST on Feb 12, 2013

Nifty neato article. I enjoy finding out the whys/wherefores behind things. Thanks!

7:54AM PST on Feb 11, 2013

This world's neglected and abused animals are desperately in need of lots of love. So i ask you CUPID to visit these animals on this Valentine's,please.

5:14AM PST on Feb 11, 2013


3:48AM PST on Feb 11, 2013

I'm all for getting back to that old-time religion. But Italy in February is a lot more conducive to running around naked than is, say, Boston.

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