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Jesus Cries When Girls Play Football

Jesus Cries When Girls Play Football

I hate football. Like, a lot. Of all sports I hate, my hate for football is second only to baseball. (Seriously. Is there a more boring way to spend 18 hours, or however long a baseball game lasts?) But just because I hate football and will run screaming from even the slightest mention of “pigskin” doesn’t mean all girls do. Some, I dare say, don’t just tolerate football. They actually like it.

Like 12-year-old Maddy Blythe. She even does something comparatively few girls across the country do: she plays for her school team. Or, at least she did. She was kicked off because…well, there’s not way around it. She was kicked off because she’s a girl.

Maddy played on the Strong Rock Christian School football team. She wasn’t bad. She had four sacks (which I guess is when someone tackles the quarterback?). Oh but she’s a little lady, and part of being a little lady means being the arbiter of male sexuality and behavior. According to the CEO of the school, the boys on the team might have “lustful thoughts,” so Maddy had to go.

According to Maddy, she always had the full support of her coach and her teammates. Hm. This sounds more like the CEO’s problem. Also, has this guy ever been 12 years old? There is nothing you can do to keep kids that age from thinking lustful thoughts. Not a dang thing.

But it wasn’t just these hypothetical “lustful thoughts” that’s keeping Maddy from playing the sport she loves. Girls are also delicate flowers who just can’t handle all that rough boy locker room talk. Also, it makes Jesus cry. According to Raw Story:

In a Facebook post, Cassy Blythe [Maddy's mother] said that the school’s CEO told her that “he did not believe girls should play on boys teams” because “the boys might have impure thoughts.”

He also said that “the locker room talk might be a bit much for her to handle” and “quoted the bible [sic] by saying that men and women are created equal but different and therefore should not be allowed to play the same sports.”

The CEO insisted that “he prayed about it and this was the right thing to do,” she wrote.

Mmm yes. Listen, girls are made of sugar and spice. That’s a fragile mixture. It’s a well known fact of nature that if a girl hears too many dick jokes she will vaporize in a puff of smoke! That’s why God gave us specific roles. Boys play football and girls play…I don’t know. Girls sports. (I’m unclear what a girl sport would be, but I think it’s safe to say that it involves sitting silently in a small room, knitting.)

Cassy has started a Facebook campaign called Let Her Play, and it’s dedicated to all girl athletes. According to the page:

This page was started because my daughter was told she could no longer play football simply because she is a girl. We stand behind all female athletes who are told no. Join our fight for equality. Our daughters should not have limitations. Let them soar!

Rock on!

If you want to help get Maddy back on the field where she belongs, sign the petition.


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Image credit: Anderson Mancini

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3:53PM PST on Feb 23, 2014

Really? WTF. I want to try to join a boys team next year as purposeful rebellion, (I'm taking band and the only non-fall sport is girls swimming)

3:26PM PDT on Jul 7, 2013


4:00AM PDT on Jul 2, 2013

So do I when I watch a bad game of football and when my team dosen't win....!

11:25PM PDT on Jul 1, 2013

Signed. Thanks for sharing

4:28PM PDT on Jul 1, 2013

Signed! Thank you for bringing this to our attention :)

4:06PM PDT on Jul 1, 2013

The problem is men think women can't play! -.-
I don't like football but when I had to play at school they wouldn't give me the ball... The girls would simply run and try to catch it while they would play for real. That's unfair and that's descrimination. And I'm actually quite good at it.

4:02PM PDT on Jul 1, 2013


12:38AM PDT on Jul 1, 2013

any school that receives public funding should be forced to be equal to both genders!

11:58PM PDT on Jun 30, 2013

Sadly, discrimination always exists in some form or another.

9:11PM PDT on Jun 29, 2013

What a revolting thing to say... so let him cry, it's healthy.

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