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Musician Speaks Out About Sexism and It’s Glorious

Musician Speaks Out About Sexism and It’s Glorious

Canadian musician Grimes is tired of compromising her morals to make a living and she is tired of being quiet about it. In a recent post on her tumblr page, the 25-year-old musician speaks out about the rampant sexism she confronts in the music industry every day. Here are some of the highlights:

Objectification†& Sexualization

“i dont want to be molested at shows or on the street by people who perceive me as an object that exists for their personal satisfaction…I’m tired of creeps on message boards discussing whether or not theyíd ‘f*ck me’”

Boys Club

“I’m tired of men who arenít professional or even accomplished musicians continually offering to ‘help me out’ (without being asked), as if i did this by accident and iím gonna flounder without them. or as if the fact that Iím a woman makes me incapable of using technology. I have never seen this kind of thing happen to any of my male peers.”

Thin is King

“im tired of being congratulated for being thin because i can more easily fit into sample sizes from the runway”

This is What a Feminist Looks Like

“I’m sad that my desire to be treated as an equal and as a human being is interpreted as hatred of men, rather than a request to be included and respected”

I found the post particularly refreshing and brave. Reading it left me with a huge sense of respect for Grimes, but her words also made me really sad and then really mad. This young woman is just trying to live her life and make a living doing what she loves and she has to deal with all this crap, but instead of putting her head down and ignoring these harsh realities, she confronts them head on by writing about them and telling the world.

Would other female musicians agree or do the same?

If you asked Chrissie Hynde from the Pretenders she would disagree:

“Don’t moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about sexist discrimination. We’ve all been thrown down stairs and f*cked about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely disguised song about it instead and clean up ($).”

I respectfully (and wholeheartedly) disagree.

In the same article where Hynde advises female musicians to keep quiet about sexism, Beth Tacular from the Bowerbirds says:

“Women have more power now, and more of us have grown up with mothers and other female role models who were creative and who didnít allow themselves to be dominated by the men in their livesÖ I just watched what the women did who I admired, and tried to learn from them.”

Grimes is now†one of those†role models†and I applaud her.

 

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Photo: Murakami_Reader/flickr

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78 comments

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1:09PM PST on Nov 3, 2013

cont..

I won't go into more detail of the barriers and difficulties that exist in retraining the mind, but at least the goal is that: to see themselves in your body. Then they will treat you with much more respect. AND this goal isn't limited to males towards females. It is applicable whenever one human sees another as anything but potentially their own selves in that body.

1:08PM PST on Nov 3, 2013

cont..

Remember, that these links/associations are promoted over and over perhaps many times a day. And once linked strongly and repeatedly, the triggering is hard to avoid (although it can be neutralized somewhat with things like anger or diverting the "electricity/signals" elsewhere, but this itself can lead to problems and is short-term.. saving the mental trigger bomb for another occasion).

But in all of the above, the way out is to have the person see themselves in your body. Oh, and they have to see themselves during a moment when they aren't horny. You want to bind together to the female images your ordinary feelings you have when you would be doing something similar, eg, link your ordinary sensations and motivations of when you bend over to the female bending over.

Of course, this doesn't end at sexual issues. But when you see yourself in that womanly body, then you respect that female all around. You don't see the person as evil or an angel (a common mistake by many men, I suspect,.. that is until they get to know you and then you fall from "heaven").

Keep in mind that it is not easy to do this for various reasons if your mind is loaded with crap models. But insist that they ask themselves how they would walk or do x or y if they were inside your body. This thinking will start to break down the garbage.

I won't go into more detail of the barriers and difficulties that exist in retraining the mind, but at least the goal is that: to see themselves in you

1:06PM PST on Nov 3, 2013

The problem is that the person not treating you as themselves doesn't see you as themselves. They may see you (or your image mixed in with the image of many women) as lots of other things. It's normal. It's how we might see a dog as a pet but someone else might see it as food. The mind simply links different things to the images (and/or sounds, etc).

To try and fix it, hope and pray (or try your techniques) that the person will be able to look at you and imagine himself as inside your body (by "your" I am talking about women in general). The person has to see themselves inside your body no matter what you do, what pose you strike, how you talk, what you say, what actions you take. The prob of course is that sexual stimulations in the body are rather strong and a lot of men will try to bind images to those feelings in an effort to trigger the sexual stuff during daydream time. Prob is that when linked, the images will trigger some of this effect any time the images are seen. So what might start out as a crutch to help reach orgasm when you are all alone, turns into slavery in being almost unable to stop the "object" sexual model from taking over when women are seen. [This would happen to an extent, since there is much context that competes in the mind.. and rather than a clear sexual urge it might manifest itself as simple discomfort and tension mixed in with other things perhaps related to other things going on or related to the conversation, etc.] Remember, that these lin

1:48AM PDT on May 8, 2013

great post!

12:35AM PDT on May 7, 2013

Thanks

6:02PM PDT on May 5, 2013

Good for Grimes!

12:55PM PDT on May 5, 2013

Also don't care about celebrities. If they want to use their medium to voice a message, then they are entitled to be heard. All that matters to me is that music is shared around.

No one music should have a majority vote over another... Music is in a sense beyond petty sexism, religiousness and politics, and when people REDUCE it to that, they are belittling their own artistic vehicle.

12:52PM PDT on May 5, 2013

Music is the medium of communication, which artistes use to create and share in (and within) art, sex, politics, religion, etcetera.

I don't give a monkey's whether a musician is homosexual, heterosexual, black, white. What's important to me, is that the musician through their music, speaks to me, on different levels. If they do that with passion, then art is created, and people can share and enjoy that as a vehicle within different cultures.

9:05PM PDT on May 4, 2013

she seems whiney to me

8:05AM PDT on May 4, 2013

Thanks for sharing!

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