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Overworked, Debt-Laden Gen X Opting For No Kids

Overworked, Debt-Laden Gen X Opting For No Kids

 

According to a new study by the Center for Work-Life Policy, 43 percent of Gen X women and 32 percent of Gen X men do not have any children.  According to the study, Gen Xers, those born between 1965 and 1978 (currently 33 to 46 years old) should be at the stage of their lives where they are “stepping into crucial leadership roles and starting families.”  Instead, ambitious Gen Xers feel stalled in their careers and are working 60+ hour weeks trying desperately to keep their debt levels under control. The combination of huge student debts (Gen X is the most educated generation and is now paying for it) with the current financial turmoil and lack of advancement opportunities (those boomers aren’t retiring quickly enough!) leave little extra cash to pay for diapers and day care.

Opting Out or Feeling Forced Out of Parenting?

In a Washington Post article, Petula Dvorak writes:

I see them downtown, these women my age who have no haunted look of sleeplessness in their eyes. They don’t have suspicious stains on their clothes. They aren’t picking smashed Cheerio bits out from between their BlackBerry keys. (We working moms live in a world of perpetual BlackBerry outages, constantly explaining the latest apple-juice incident to the IT dude.) My first thought when I see these women in their 30s and 40s is, “Right on, sister.”

Nearly half the women who make up Generation X — 43 percent — have no children.

Attribute it to more opportunities in the workforce, relaxing social pressure, advances in contraception or watching women such as myself slip into an increasingly disheveled state of hysteria for years after childbirth and vowing not to follow suit.

She then goes on to talk about the issues of debt, ambition, stalled careers and long hours that were mentioned in the study and ultimately concludes that this isn’t just some contemporary trend toward being child free. Rather, despite the supposed choices that women of our generation have, as significant contributors to the family income (91% of Gen X women are part of a dual-earning couple and one third of them out-earn their spouses), many Gen Xers may feel there is simply not enough financial wiggle room to have children.

Where Are Our Choices?

If these women truly do not want to have children, then there is no problem. The earth is already overpopulated and the decision to be child free is one that people should be able to make freely. However, if the women and men of Gen X do want to have children and feel like they cannot, then there is a problem.

That problem is a multifaceted one. On the one-hand, at a macro-level there is insufficient support for parenting in the United States. The key supports that are needed to allow one parent or the other to take some time off to have and raise children are missing. Those supports include maternity and parental leave, decent affordable health care options and subsidized day care.

On the other hand, society also needs to be more accepting of men as parents. This shouldn’t simply be about women choosing not to have babies. Feminists have been pushing for more options for women, but if we want a family friendly future we need to push for more:

We need to push for a society that values family and parenthood. One that recognizes that role that parents play in raising the next generation. One that recognizes that fathers, like mothers, may need to strike a balance between their career and their family life. One where women don’t feel that they have to be an equally uninvolved parent in order to reach their goals, but where they can ask their partner to step up too.

Women also need to be willing to let go, work with their partners and accept that they cannot do it all. Parenting while having a career is challenging, requires sacrifices and necessitates an acceptance of less than perfect.

Support is Key

Parenting is hard and people need to feel supported in their choice to become a parent. That is true in the best of times, but is even more true in difficult economic times where families are having trouble making ends meet and where fear of job loss has people putting in longer hours for less money.  When societal support for parenting does not exist, it is no wonder that more people are opting out.

 

Related stories:

Is Family Really First? US Lags Behind Other Nations in Providing Paid Parental Leave

Quebec’s Subsidized Child Care Pays for Itself

What is Maternal Feminism?

 

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Image credit: eflon on flickr

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133 comments

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12:32AM PST on Nov 29, 2013

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8:21AM PDT on Jun 9, 2012

Interesting to contrast the Gen X men with Gen X women: a much higher proportion of the women are childless! Does this mean that the women who are bearing children do so by 2 or more fathers? Or is it that Gen X men are far more likely to abandon their children and their mothers? Within the generations of my own family, one can very readily observe this demographic shift. My parents had 5 Boomer children, and had been married 48 years when Mom died: my sister and I were both left by our respective husbands to rear our children alone, and none of our brothers still lives with his first wife. Of the Gen X grandchildren (maybe the younger ones are of the Gen Y age cohort, but all are adults) NONE of the 5 girls has any children; one son has 2 children, and one has 3; the other boy is gay. Truly the planet is overwhelmed with excess human population, but I do wonder about the ramifications of this societal change.

10:47PM PST on Dec 30, 2011


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6:12AM PST on Dec 26, 2011

Young people are more in debt than ever. Fewer jobs awaiting them after college (unless they're Chinese or Indian). The only sure thing awaiting young people after college is mammoth debt. My God, how could they afford even to even get married, much less throw kids into that mix?

10:52PM PST on Nov 19, 2011

As a later Gen X'r, my husband and I chose to wait until we both had stable jobs to bring a child into this world. Despite all the greed, destruction and evil in the world, if we choose to not bring a child into it, and raise them with ethics and morals, how will our world ever change? We also care for the environment and every living thing in it, having a child does not negate this, she is the next generation of Earth's caretakers. Unfortunately, with the Great Recession, our house is underwater, my husband is looking for work after his workplace failed and closed and it is very iffy if we will be able to bring another child into the world as we want to. I've been working 40-50 hour weeks to meet the bills and we've been barely making it. I know women of my age/generation who have chose to be childfree and support their decision just as I support those who chose to have a couple kids. Neither decision is automatically wrong. Both, if done for the right reasons, are right.

1:37PM PST on Nov 16, 2011

I am a lay sociologist. I keep reading how parents are treated like crap at the office. Bosses prefer the childless really. Bosses would really prefer the loveless. They could relocate anyplace with no strings attached provided they had no lease.

Really, my dad was not an inspiring dad. He did his own thing on weekends and worked late. I think women want to be mothers because they have loving mothers and want to mimic them. Mimic the same sex parent. Who am I mimicking? A self-absorbed near loner, bathing optional in retirement, who Mom finally tried to leave when I was 23 but his cancer diagnosis brought her back?

I bluntly think I'd want kids more if I had a better dad. Well at the very least he was present and made money. And taught me ethics, hard work, etc.

It isn't like I can mimic my mother, who was great, actually.

1:26PM PST on Nov 16, 2011

The surprise is of the three CF women (wives) I know, two are Protestant. The third won't touch Christianity really because it is pro-life and she is pro-choice.

1:24PM PST on Nov 16, 2011

Maybe in Christian circles... I had a Catholic woman harshly tell me "90% of women want them..." [get on board bucko]

What religion are these women?

My fiancee thinks she has to have children, it is a marital duty. My best friend and his wife have no kids and I tried to talk her out of it.

1:20PM PST on Nov 16, 2011

Where are all these child free women then? I only know three and they are taken.

4:20PM PST on Nov 13, 2011

To Citizen for you comment about there being no Village to raise a child:

Amen!

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