Pope: Women Will Never Become Priests
The Catholic Church is under attack. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it’s pretty bad. Who, you may ask, is threatening the very existence of this great and ancient religion? It’s coming from the inside.
For a while now, Austrian priests have been a thorn in Pope Benedict’s paw. How dare they? And these Austrian priests are basically doing the worst thing ever. That’s right: there is a contingent of Austrian priests who are advocating for the ordination of women in the Catholic Church.
It’s okay. Go ahead; sit down. It’s pretty scandalous. I’ll go fetch the smelling salts.
But, according to Reuters, the Pope isn’t having it. Because the Church is never wrong about anything ever:
In his response to the Austrian group, his first in public, Benedict noted that, in its “call to disobedience”, it had challenged “definitive decisions of the Church’s magisterium (teaching authority) such as the question of women’s ordination …”
He then restated the position by citing a major 1994 document by his predecessor John Paul II that stated that the ban on women priests was part of the Church’s “divine constitution.”
A year later in 1995, the Vatican’s doctrinal department, which the current pope then headed when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, ruled that the teaching on an exclusively male priesthood had been “set forth infallibly,” meaning it could not be changed.
Oh right! Infallibility! Like when the Church was totally right about geocentrism! Also? Jesus only hung out with dudes, therefore women are totally unworthy of being priests.
The Catholic Church has really been on a roll lately against people with a basic sense of fairness. Only this week, they reprimanded nuns for being too charitable towards the poor and not hateful enough toward gay people and sluts getting abortions. How could they use their faith to make the lives of people better?
Lest you be willing to overlook a little harmless misogyny, remember this: in 2010, the Pope was not only implicated in covering up child sex abuse, the Catholic Church decreed that “attempted ordination” of women is one of the most serious crimes in ecclesiastical law (on par with child sex abuse).
At least I’ll always know where my vagina and I stand in the eyes of the Lord.
Image credit: Wikimedia Commons