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Some Men Seek Love from Sex Workers, Study Says

Some Men Seek Love from Sex Workers, Study Says

The usual cliche goes like this: men go to sex workers for raw, animalistic pleasure, as a release from the bonds of marriage, or just as an antidote to a lonely life of business or travel. In an age of internet anonymity and dating, relationships and the way we meet people have also changed drastically. All of those cliches about men who return to sex workers for simple satisfaction have undoubtedly occurred around the world more than a few times, but a new study suggests that some men are also seeking friendship, love and partnership from sex workers they return to repeatedly.

The two American authors of the study, Christine Milrod and Ronald Weitzer, analyzed over 2,000 postings on an online discussion board where reportedly over 1 million clients of sex workers review and write about their experiences, according to the Times of India.

The researchers noticed that about 1/3 of the men responding on the discussion board included elements of emotional and romantic caring for the sex workers they returned to again and again. As Milrod stated about the study:

In recent years, we have come to see a gradual normalization of independent escort prostitution, where sexual encounters have come to resemble quasi-dating relationships.

The researchers noted that elements of the classic romantic or dating script were evident in about 1/3 of the posts, hinting that men who return to the same sex workers are looking for more than just a sexual release but also a relationship with another person. It is worth noting that the study specifically looked at men who returned to the same sex worker. These were the subjects that used romantic ideas when discussing their relationships.

Perhaps we didn’t need a study to uncover that human relationships of every type are often complex and circuitous. The study was published in the academic journal Men and Masculinities and offers perhaps a more nuanced understanding of masculine sex drives as well as the fact that sex workers cannot be lumped into a generic category, and should not be dehumanized. One of the most poignant insights Milrod hits on is that these relationships destigmatize both client and worker in a way that adds a level of nuance to these relationships and the people involved.

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10:05PM PST on Jan 20, 2014

Hi to everybody, here everyone is sharing such knowledge, so it’s fastidious to see this site, and I used to visit this blog daily.

phone sex

8:08PM PDT on Aug 22, 2012

Humans are complex beings and I have no doubt that there are men who are lonely and looking for companionship and confirmation as a desirable man. Personally, I think it should be legalized and taxed. It's called the world's oldest profession and it's not going to go away.

1:09AM PDT on Aug 15, 2012

Prostitution, at it's core, is never meant to be or replace emotional relationships. I'm the first to acknowledge that emotions mixed with sex can be a powerful thing. That being said, so many people make such a big deal about sex when there is no real emotions involved. Many times, it's simply a physical release. The perversion is expecting something of humans that they're quite frankly not. Humans, at their base, are NOT monogamous. This is why so many people "cheat" on their partners. There is a reason why women and men are built very differently in terms of sex and how they climax. It's simply a way to more readily continue the species. It's not humanity's fault that nowhere in the genetic coding is their a clock that realizes the planet can no longer sustain the population. People, especially those in the West, are so terrified of sex. Religion plays a part in this, granted. Personally, I'm not interested in having partner after partner. I really never have been (even though I fully admit that there are a number of women I'm attracted to). People put such ridiculous stigmas on sex, when it's simply a natural act. That people attach so much more to it, THAT is what is unnatural.

1:09AM PDT on Aug 15, 2012

Prostitution, at it's core, is never meant to be or replace emotional relationships. I'm the first to acknowledge that emotions mixed with sex can be a powerful thing. That being said, so many people make such a big deal about sex when there is no real emotions involved. Many times, it's simply a physical release. The perversion is expecting something of humans that they're quite frankly not. Humans, at their base, are NOT monogamous. This is why so many people "cheat" on their partners. There is a reason why women and men are built very differently in terms of sex and how they climax. It's simply a way to more readily continue the species. It's not humanity's fault that nowhere in the genetic coding is their a clock that realizes the planet can no longer sustain the population. People, especially those in the West, are so terrified of sex. Religion plays a part in this, granted. Personally, I'm not interested in having partner after partner. I really never have been (even though I fully admit that there are a number of women I'm attracted to). People put such ridiculous stigmas on sex, when it's simply a natural act. That people attach so much more to it, THAT is what is unnatural.

9:18PM PDT on Aug 13, 2012

There are many reasons men go to prostitutes & there are more reasons women become prostitutes. As I'm sure there are many reasons others feel the need to judge those who do. Suffering happens because of the stigma attached, the legal ramifications & the social shunning. If the business were regulated (it will ALWAYS exist just like drug use) it would be safer for ALL those involved, including trafficking victims.
Don't like prostitution, don't do it, or don't buy it. Those that do via non violent means are not evil, those that sell women & children, beat them, steal are the ones in the wrong. Understanding will ALWAYS help create a better world. We are all entitled to our opinions, me to mine, you to yours but if we cannot communicate & cohabitate peacefully we have lost.

12:15PM PDT on Aug 13, 2012

Prostitution does and should carry a stigma with it, in part because as discussed in the article and these comments it is a perversion of what should be an honest emotional relationship.

12:08PM PDT on Aug 13, 2012

I believe the term "sex worker" is used to include all people in the field, not merely those who have sex for money (i.e. strippers, phone sex operators, peep show workers, etc.)

10:37AM PDT on Aug 13, 2012

well, guys have this 'white knight' thing about rescuing sex workers - trouble is, if they 'tame' the sex worker, even marry them, they then go out and seek solace from another sex worker!

7:02AM PDT on Aug 13, 2012

What I had always read was that when WOMEN go to male escorts the interaction is more like a relationship. Although I've also heard that phone sex operators sometimes just shoot the breeze and sometimes prostitutes just end up playing video games with their clients. This makes sense too. There are really a lot of occupations where there is a quasi-friendship between worker and client.

2:55AM PDT on Aug 13, 2012

I suspect you'll find that in this case the reason the euphemism "sex worker" is used rather than prostitute is not so much to legitimize it, but to help downplay the stigmas associated with it. The term "prostitute," especially in today's lexicon, has a very negative stereotype attached to it. Whether you personally agree with prostitution or not, prostitution is still legitimate. Far too many people seem to think that people (sex workers come in both genders, and have clients of both genders) become "prostitutes" because they're drug addicts or similar. The reality is that typically the drug addiction, if one develops in the individual sex worker, comes about AFTER the person becomes a sex worker. This was discovered in Philadelphia, PA last year. Prostitution is called the "oldest profession" for a reason. And, when you get right down to it, everyone pays for sex. For the most part, that payment is in the form of a relationship and all of the various things that go into trying to make a relationship work.

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