Are you worried that the world will end by fake Mayan prophesy on Dec. 21? Don’t be! Because if you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’ve lived through this before. Crackpots and charlatans are forever predicting the end of the world, yet here we are. I guess we’re heartier than we think. Here are a just a few of the many, many times you’ve survived the end of the world.
Whoa! You survived the end of the world this week, and you probably didn’t even know it! While most people who believe in impending Mayan apocalypse think Quetzalcoatl will return on Dec. 21, 2012, there are some who interpret the Mayan Long Count calendar to say Dec. 12 is the real end of days. So good job! You survived!
You remember Harold Camping, right? He made a name for himself last year by predicting the rapture by using — what else? – biblical numerology. Camping predicted that Judgment Day would occur on May 21, 2011. When that day came and went without incident, Camping revised his prediction to Oct. 21, 2011. Again, nothing.
This wasn’t the first time Camping made an end of the world prediction. Evidently, he started way back in 1978. Hey, I guess the odds of being right increase with time, right?
We All Get Superpowers!
Well, not all of us. Only the faithful followers of Jose de Luis de Jesus, the leader of Growing in Grace International. De Jesus, who incidentally believes he is the apostle Paul, predicted the end of the world on June 30, 2012. He predicted that the economy would tank and that all governments would collapse. (He was a little late on the economic downturn prediction.) Oh, and all non-believers will be destroyed. But it’s not enough to predict the eradication of those who disagree with him. Oh no. De Jesus and his followers were to be endowed with superpowers like the ability to fly and walk through walls.
Al lright! That’s my kind of end times. Survival is not enough. I want to qualify for the Justice League.
Om nom nom! A black hole gobbles us up.
Do you remember when physicist got all giddy a few months back when they found a Higgs-like particle? That important discovery was made possible by CERN and the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). Pretty banging, right? Correct, but, at least initially, not everyone was a fan. Some people thought that once the LHC started its work, it would create a mini black hole that would grow and grow and gobble up the Earth. People went so far as to file lawsuits to stop the experiments (some in courts that had no jurisdiction over the LHC).
Of course the LHC was and is perfectly safe. It was unlikely that black holes would form at CERN. Even if they did, they’d be harmless. The equivalent amount of energy is produced as cosmic rays bombard our planet and we’re still alive and kicking. Or the mini black holes would just evaporate. Either way you look at it, an Earth-eating black hole was unlikely.
In mid-October 2011, Comet Elenin was scheduled to make its closest flyby of our planet. (In this case, “closest” means about 22 million miles.) This, according to some, would cause cataclysmic events on Earth, including earthquakes and tsunamis. (Because that’s how plate tectonics work.)
As evidenced by the fact that I am here writing this post and that you are here reading it, none of that came to pass. The comet was way too small and way too far away to have any gravitational effect on the Earth. In fact, it got pummeled to dust by a solar storm, so…not very threatening.
These are just five of the literally dozens of doomsday predictions you have lived through. So dip into that stash of bottled water and fry up one of your several dozen cans of Spam and enjoy the holidays.
Image credit: Tim Green