Buried somewhere in this piece on moms who smoke pot is an interesting conversation on motherhood, judgment, and the fact that ohmygod mothers are people who do things like drink wine and smoke pot. I’m not just sure where it is.
Writer Corey Binns profiles a handful of “normal” moms who all happen to enjoy getting high and who are also apparently “tired of being judged” by moms who drink wine. It’s good too, because it had been a while since I read a trend piece pitting women against women. Here’s Margaret the mom who likes to get high:
“Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s—,” complains Margaret. “Any hypocrisy is hard to swallow. A drunk mother is pathetic and I often leave parties when I experience other mothers tying one on.”
The piece really does try to paint the picture that other than legal prohibition there’s no difference between using marijuana responsibly and using alcohol responsibly. But apparently the fact that mothers do both these things is just too much. Diane Fornbacher, co-vice chair of the Women’s Alliance at NORMAL is able to frame the issue a little less divisively, but even Formbacher can’t help but fall into the trap of pitting mommies against mommies.
“No matter what you use, you shouldn’t be judged if it works for you, you’re productive, and you do no harm,” says Diane Fornbacher, co-vice chair of the Women’s Alliance at NORML, the non-profit lobbying organization working to legalize marijuana. “Marijuana parents aren’t perfect, but they’re far less imperfect than parents who use alcohol irresponsibly. Cannabis can influence people to be nicer to one another. You rarely find a story that says two stoners beat each other up outside of a bar.”
Admittedly I’m puzzled by many of the “gangs” this article creates. Certainly some moms like to smoke pot AND drink wine and do both responsibly, for example. And isn’t the real story here that anything taken to excess is, well, excessive and by its nature contrary to good parenting?
The larger point, the point that Fornbacher makes initially is that mother’s actions are under constant scrutiny and that women will be judged. By everyone. For everything. Instead of pitting moms who chose to get high over moms who drink wine, let’s talk about that truth. In fact, we need to talk about that truth because we’re increasingly criminalizing women’s choices. And that, by it’s very nature, requires a judgment on proper motherhood.
Photo from josephadams via flickr.