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Women Get Divorces Because They Don’t Know Any Better, Claims Utah Lawmaker

Women Get Divorces Because They Don’t Know Any Better, Claims Utah Lawmaker

The divorce rate for the United States continues to hover at around 50 percent of all marriages, meaning one out of every two couples who wed will eventually get divorced. Claiming that he wants to see that rate go down, at least in Utah, one legislator is proposing a new hurdle to stop couples before they end their marriages. However, while proposing his plan, he also lets us in on his own personal belief about who is responsible when it comes to divorce, and unsurprisingly, he believes it is often the wife’s fault.

Utah state Rep. Jim Nielson would like to make people think about the act of divorcing just a little bit more before they jump right into it, because apparently he believes ending a marriage is something many people just do on a whim. Or, more specifically, something that wives do, since all of the men he knows claims they had no idea their marriages were in trouble. To fix this, he is prepared to make those considering divorce start class sooner — yes, sooner, because taking a class to get a divorce is already a requirement in the state.

According to Nielson, by the time the couples are forced to take the two hour long, $55 dollar class prior to finalizing the divorce, they are already so far along in the process that they aren’t likely to change their minds. Mandating that the class be taken at least in part before any financial or custodial arrangements can be finalized, Nielson hopes that it will make couples “rethink” their decision before it’s too late, especially if they have children.

At least, that’s what he told the Associated Press. His justification to a more targeted audience, one of fathers going through or who went through a divorce, was a much more tweaked argument, where he placed the blame for divorce almost squarely on the backs of soon to be ex-wives.

“The friends that I have that have gone through a divorce, most of the people that I know personally that have gone through that personally are men,” Nielson explained to host Matt Allen, according to Raw Story. ”And my sense, at least from the men that I interact with, is that they’ve usually been surprised by the divorce request, by the filing….[I]f I’m correct that more of the filers are women than men — and that’s based on just anecdotal information — then I think what this course does, which basically mandates that before you file, the filer… has to take this course. That individual — often a woman — will be aware of alternatives, will be aware of the impact, will be aware of the consequences and know what the process will be to his or her family.”

Would it be reasonable to have a class earlier rather than later in the divorce proceedings, if such as class already exists under law? Maybe. But the reasoning used by Nielson makes two things clear when it comes to divorce: 1) by saying men are often “surprised” when papers are filed against them, he implies that it is women somehow frivolously and unthinkingly ending these marriages, and for no real reason whatsoever; and 2) that sitting women down and talking to them about other options and how they are impacting their families and especially their children would make them give up and remain married.

We’ve already seen this sort of mindset enacted with informed consent bills over abortion, where scripts, pictures and waiting periods are mandated for a pregnant person because she is obviously too emotional and not knowledgeable enough to understand the consequences of her actions. That this belief system is so obviously leaking over into other areas is sadly not shocking in the least.

Nielson obviously believes a large portion of divorces are initiated by women who thoughtlessly or selfishly break up a family, and that roadblocks need to be in place to make her rethink the consequences of her actions. Today, that mindset is likely to change a law in Utah. Tomorrow, it could be occurring in your state instead.

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300 comments

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5:25PM PDT on Mar 12, 2014

Amy L. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that your husband's family have the same faith as you. Unfortunately divorce produces such a negative reaction in my country that it is hard not to judge.

1:58PM PDT on Mar 10, 2014

People hurt each other every day. The trick is to free yourself of the anger. Men and women do hurt each other but it doesn't mean we should hate each other. One gender has no right to oppress another gender. No one is stronger or smarter than another but we have to be strong and smart to navigate in this world and through life. We can do it alone or with each other. My husband was murdered by black people. We had a daughter together and she has grown up without a father and yes I've had to be very strong to take care of her on my own. What kind of person would she now be if I had been a weak and stupid role model. Yes I've had to be strong. I'm not mean, or cruel or belligerent rather I'm intelligent, kind, gentle and I know how to love and I've taught my daughter to be this way as well. I think these are the qualities that make a human being strong. Because my husband was murdered by black people - that doesn't make me angry at black people or force me to have a deep seeded hatred towards black people because I don't feel that way. We carry on through life doing the best we can and trying to love those around us with all of our heart. People divorce for various reasons its not fair to judge everyone who divorces with the same brush. Men divorce women - women divorce men. Men divorce men; women divorce women. They are the ones with broken hearts and a broken bank account - it's wrong to judge.

7:12PM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

NO one was picking on John for being Gay. His issues have nothing to do with being gay.

He has extreme hate issues from his catholic upbringing which teaches women are to be submissive always to their husbands. Women of course the reason for all of our original sin. POOOR ADAM got CONNNED by that witch eve into eating the apple after all. Becaue apparently Adam wasnt leader enough to say NO. He had some horrible women who were also filled with hate that affected his childohhod terribly and p,anted a LIFELONG hatred and distrust of all women unless they are submissive. They are unclean the temptresses…..because after all Men dont know how to say NO. Women just CAPTIVATE them and bend them to their will. Its all bullshit of course. Woemn cant bend or break you anymore or less than any Man.

No one said getting divorced 4 or 5 times was a good thing. No one here believes that I am sure. People are amazingly careless who they marry much of the time and THATS the problem.
It has very little to do with feminism. Men as are just as careless just as mean and dastadly just as unfaithful as any woman.

5:09PM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

It seems to me that Kevin's reference to vaginas was not literal, and the "ridicule" was NOT for homosexuality but rather for gender-based hate.

3:12PM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

Thank you Kevin..but there are also women who see men in the same light and would never lay with them...a persons sexuality only makes up a very small proportion of that total being. Just because someone has never had sex with opposite it doesn't mean they have problems with all of them...just some of them..Then you get both men and women who choose to abstain totally...it's their choice and we don't have the right to ridicule..

11:34AM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

Ros G. said "Kevin B..what were you thinking????? "

Um, that women are quite wonderful and that if John O. and his misogynist friends had any real experience with women they would not be saying such horrid and hateful things about them.

4:55AM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

oops..not trying to be sexist here..so some women are p...s struck..

4:28AM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

and before anyone jumps "down my throat" metaphorically speaking...that would be regarded by both men and women here in Australia..as being...c..t struck..

4:03AM PDT on Mar 9, 2014

As Pam W would say.."a real troll fest" happening here...

But I must congratulate you all on refraining from using the words "Stooger's" what I did find derogatory is this:

"You know, John O., if you ever actually saw an vagina, much less touched one, you might not have such a hateful fear of women?"

Kevin B..what were you thinking?????

What worries more than the divorce rate..is how many times people re-marry...3,4, 5 times and that is acceptable.

9:44PM PST on Mar 8, 2014

Rainbow W stated: "You are and James are two of a kind. You cannot accept your own shortcomings so you turn it on others. In this case women. You idolize men and demonize women."

Green stars for keen observation skills, Rainbow W. 'Men Good, Women, Baaad!' Mind numbing stereotypes are certainly held firmly in place for both James W and John O.

Click! Two minds firmly closed like a corroded rusty steel trap. Opening such closed minds to daylight will not happen unless they stop feeding off of the Speak Bitterness pills and forgetting about their cherished stereotypes.

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