I hope that I can make it through this post without looking like a fool. I’ll do my best, but it’s going to be difficult. You see, I’m a man, and as a new study of IQ tests shows, men are not as smart as women.
It wasn’t always so. Men used to out-score women on IQ tests by an average of 3-5 points, which was proof of our inherent superiority. Those were the days, when men were in charge, women were doting servants, and nobody bothered with writing satire because the world was just too perfect. Alas, those days are over now.
A new study by New Zealand researcher James Flynn shows that women are now scoring about a point better than men. Of course, there’s an obvious flaw in the study — it was conducted by a man. Probably a study by women would show men scoring even lower.
These are difficult days for men. Sometimes, women will like us only as friends, thus placing us in the “Friend Zone,” where we have to have an emotional connection to someone we aren’t having sex with. Women are more educated than men, and happier to boot. Sure, we men are still earning more than women, but that’s all due to a system we put in place back when we were smarter than the ladies. Now that women are smarter than us, they’re bound to notice; heck, they might even make it so we make less money than them, and that would be horrible. After all, evolutionary psychology has taught us that women only care about men for money and the chance to have a baby, so if we can’t make more money than women, all we’re good for is breeding.
Some will say that IQ is an imperfect measure of intelligence, based on a test that is steeped in cultural biases that make it difficult to make definitive statements about intelligence across different groups. Some will point to the fact that when one accounts for re-norming of IQ scores, the average score of an American in 1900 would be 67 today, and claim that this proves that intelligence as measured by IQ is not fixed, but highly dependent on education and socioeconomic status. Indeed, some would point to the fact that women, once allowed the chance to be equal with men, suddenly became four percent smarter as proof that IQ is dependent on nurture far more than nature.
I don’t know. I’m just a man, after all.
All I know is this: women are now clearly the superior sex. It’s their world now; we men only live in it. And I, for one, welcome our new female overladies. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted internet personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground shoe stores.
Yup, it’s a woman’s world now. I do hope that with their new-found intelligence and power, women remember what a great job we men did. How we protected the planet. How we were peaceful and kind. More than anything, I hope women remember how men treated them over the years when we were in charge.
Actually, scratch that.
It’s probably better if they don’t remember.