I saw the new Pixar movie, “Brave” on opening weekend. It was really good. Merida is a character I can really identify with. I was never much interested in boys or relationships growing up. I never dreamed of getting married and starting a family and buying a house with a white picket fence. It just wasn’t for me. I wish I’d had Merida to look up to when I was young.
Little did I know that simple disinterest in happily ever after pretty much makes women into lesbians.
Well that’s…confusing. I…I think I’m straight. I mean, I’ve identified as heterosexual for my entire life. But, maybe? I better call on Adam Markovitz at Entertainment Weekly for help in figuring out my buried sexuality.
But could Merida be gay? Absolutely. She bristles at the traditional gender roles that she’s expected to play: the demure daughter, the obedient fiancée. Her love of unprincess-like hobbies, including archery and rock-climbing, is sure to strike a chord with gay viewers who felt similarly “not like the other kids” growing up. And she hates the prospect of marriage — at least, to any of the three oafish clansmen that compete for her hand — enough to run away from home and put her own mother’s life at risk. She’s certainly not a swooning, boy-crazy Disney princess like The Little Mermaid’s Ariel or Snow White. In fact, Merida may be the first in that group to be completely romantically disinclined (even cross-dressing Mulan had a soft spot for Li Shang).
In this paragraph is the test for Latent Lesbianism. Let’s see if I can tease it out.
You might be a lesbian if you…
…bristle at traditional gender roles
I do! I do bristle at traditional gender roles! I don’t like the idea that I should want to have a bunch of babies or that I should be nurturing and demure. I like the idea of an equal partnership with someone I love. I don’t think that my partner’s career should take priority over mine just because he’s a dude. So, check.
…have an affinity for “unprincess-like hobbies”
That’s me again! I’m totally into science and politics! Those are traditionally male domains. I’m not so much into rock-climbing because I’m really afraid of death. But I don’t think that’s a gender thing. Check.
…hate the prospect of marriage
I don’t hate it so much any more. But I did when I was teenager. I never wanted to get married. I wanted to live on my own and do what I wanted. Who wouldn’t? Even today I’m a 28-year-old woman and I don’t really care if I ever get married. It’s not that big of a deal. Check
Whoa. I think…I think I’m a lesbian. Wow. This is really going to freak out my male partner of seven years. Or maybe not. He probably knew this the whole time and he was just waiting for me to come to the realization on my own. What a great guy.
Image credit: bogusbong