10 Tips for Finding Peace on Valentine’s Day
From Ode Magazine
V-Day isn’t always a delight for everyone. Not everyone has drunk the koolaid of our couple society. More to the point, a lot of us are d-o-n-e with coupledom. What to do?
Tip #1: Acknowledge how you feel about Valentine’s Day even if it’s only in your bathroom mirror. Don’t dwell on it, but tell yourself the truth about it. There are as many responses to this holiday as there are souls. Your feelings are yours, and they’re legitimate.
Tip #2: If you must, throw a pity party for yourself. I mean it. Wallow in how sad, how lonely, how much you fear this will never change for an hour or so. Then put on some wonderful music and dance yourself from pity to peace. (Watch out for these Valentine’s Day No-Nos.)
Tip #3: Mitigate your expectations. Do you have a partner who doesn’t do holidays? Or does them poorly, or with resentment? Okay. What would make you feel precious and appreciated? Either ask for that, or give it to yourself.
Tip #4: Are you single yet longing to be coupled? Here’s a secret for manifesting a soulmate: make space for him or her. Clear out a drawer in the bedroom for your new love. Go buy a new toothbrush and put it in the drawer. On V-Day, make a ritual of buying and writing in a card to your new beloved. Put that in the drawer, too. This process has worked every time I’ve suggested it to a client for 28 years.
Tip #5: Whether you’re in a relationship or not, whether you’re happy in that relationship or not, do something kind for yourself. It could be as simple as bringing flowers to your office or making a contribution to save the planet or the polar bears. Whatever it is, be sure you feel good about it, and let it be your valentine to the world.
Tip #6: Take the day to bless love–in all its (sometimes) distressing disguises. Most of us have love of some kind in our lives: a pet, a parent or two, friends, siblings, teachers, extended family. The world definitely needs more love. Give your V-Day experience over to a spiritual bent and bless love itself.
Tip #7: Make the day all about others, and not about yourself. I have a single friend who always makes sure to attend a local performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, that show which started her vital work for ending violence against women and girls worldwide. Go to http://www.vday.org to learn more about it.
Tip #8: Do something wonderful for yourself on the physical level. Have a massage. Take a luxurious bath. Take the day off from the quotidian and go spend it with the love that is Mother Nature. Whistling wind, whirling snowflakes, rustling palm trees are all forms of love.
Tip #9: If you’re a prayerful sort, use the day to pray for the couples you know. Bless them. Pray for their happiness. Their fulfillment. Their growth. Pray for their health and well-being. Pray for joy for all those who love. All of us love someone or something, and even better, all of us are beloved by Divinity. Wallow in that love.
Tip #10: Dedicate your V-Day energies to our beloved Earth. Love the planet. Love the climate. Love Earth into a healthy balance. Go wiggle your bare toes in dirt and thank Her for letting us live here.