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3 Spiritual Principles for Negotiating

3 Spiritual Principles for Negotiating

Today, Iím a rock star when it comes to negotiating and delegating, but this wasnít always the case. I spent years under-earning because of my unwillingness to ask for more and my fear of negotiating. This is a common issue I find in women. We havenít been taught to negotiate or ask for more. We are psyched to get an offer, and we take what we can get. But this mentality seriously affected my bank account.

Everything is negotiable.

Luckily for me, I hit a hard bottom when it came to my fear around negotiating. When my first book was published, I started to get sponsorship offers for endorsement deals. I was so psyched to have these nontraditional sources of revenue that I didnít even consider negotiating for more than I was offered. At this time, a dear friend of mine suggested I ask for double the amount of what one sponsor had offered. I nearly fell off my chair when she suggested this.

In that moment, I was confronted with my deep-rooted fear of negotiating, and had to be honest with myself about how this fear was negatively affecting my life. Since that day, I have been on a steadfast journey toward conquering my fear of negotiating. My commitment to change has resulted in lots of abundance ó and many fun negotiations!

Know when to shut up!

They donít call me Gabby for nothin! As a self-proclaimed loudmouth, Iíve never had a hard time pitching business. Sometimes my loquacious attitude has worked in my favor, but itís also backfired at times. Iíd get to the final point in a sales pitch when youíre meant to wrap things up, shake hands and seal the deal, and Iíd always keep talking. This compulsion to reiterate everything that had been said is a bad approach to closing a deal. In fact, I blew many potential deals because Iíd oversell and talk too much.

Learning to shut my mouth didnít come easily, but it has greatly helped my sales skills. Today, I know when to go for the hard sell and when to shut her down. Knowing when to stop pitching is a true negotiating art.

Solopreneur does not scale.

I spent nearly eight years trying to do it all. The control freak in me was unwilling to let go of the rope and allow people to step in. What Iíve learned from this mistake is that if you try to control everything, you can never let your true talent shine through. Hence another business bottom that taught me a massive lesson.

Iíve since learned that trying to do everything will never serve a business. In order for your business to grow, you must learn to delegate to those who know more than you in certain areas. This gives you the necessary freedom to be creative and grow your business.

By Gabrielle Bernstein, Author of Spirit Junkie. For Gabrielleís free Spirit Junkie guided meditations, click here.


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Gabby Bernstein

Featured in the New York Times Sunday Styles section as "a new role model," motivational speaker, life coach and author Gabrielle Bernstein is making her mark. Expanding the lexicon for the next generation spiritual seekers, Gabrielle is a #1 bestselling author of the book Add More ~ing to Your Life Ė A hip guide to happiness, and Spirit Junkie, A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles. In 2008 she launched her social networking site for young women to find mentors. HerFuture's growing community exceeds 12,000 members.


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4:08PM PDT on Jun 25, 2012

Loved reading this Gabby! Maybe these skills need a spiritual attitude, combined with the psychological skills you wrote about. As a boy I cringed, when I witnessed my Dad negotiating better deals around everything. For me (I may have been 14) negotiations were only done by Jews or Indians (India). My Dad always got the better deals! (Well, I found out there was a "Rebecca" on his mom's side). That apart, I also learned to negotiate - there is nothing to loose, and many an unexpected win. There is the English saying "If you don't ask, you don't get" and here in Papua New Guinea there is a similar saying, i.e. "Traim tasol" (Try it, that's all). To this I add "Aim for the stars and you may hit the top of a tree, aim for the top of the tree and you may land face down in the mud"! Add a little Chutzpah to your life!!

11:56PM PDT on Jun 24, 2012

The message in this article left me confused.....
Most assuredly not 'spiritual' either .........

5:58PM PDT on Jun 24, 2012

This comes just a little too late for teaching negotiation this year...

3:13AM PDT on Jun 23, 2012

Excellent points. Not only are they great negotiating tools but the person who uses them grows as an individual. It's a win-win situation.

3:16PM PDT on Jun 22, 2012


7:40AM PDT on Jun 22, 2012

Hmmm... I'm not sure I really understood what points you were trying to get across here. I could use some help with negotiating things, as it's not something I was taught to do, either... but I still don't have much of an idea what to do.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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