1. Look for areas where you are the hammer, not the nail: The unfortunate reality is that many times, caregivers are like nails—constantly hammered down by selfish siblings, unhappy seniors, and difficult doctors. During these times it’s especially important to remember that there are things about your life that you can control. Hanson says that the typical person has control over three main realms: the outside environment (fixing a leaky faucet, painting a wall, etc.), our bodies (exercise, taking the right medication), and our minds (our perspective, where we focus our attention). Caregivers often find themselves in a position where it becomes harder for them to affect change in the outside world and even in their own bodies. Hanson says that when caregivers find themselves experiencing this reduced sense of control, it’s important to remember that you can always influence your thoughts. This doesn’t mean that you have to ignore the bad things, sometimes you can’t, no matter how hard you try. It means making the choice to change your perspective, in spite of those bad things.