I recently read a beautiful thought: “Relationships are like tender birds. Hold them too tight and they die. Hold them too loose and they fly. But hold them with care and they stay with you forever.”
In real life, it can be hard to hold relationships just right. Here is some advice from my own experience, which has helped me strengthen my bonds. Hope it helps you, too.
Don’t talk too much: I know that the standard relationship-repair advice is to “talk it all out.” But I am referring to another kind of “talk.” The kind that qualifies as idle chat or general conversation. In my experience, the more we talk, the more likely we are to say something out of turn or off color. Keep it simple and clean, especially with people you know who are sensitive. I have been able to pull up a going-downhill relationship by doing just this.
Don’t react at once: Conflicts worsen when neither party is willing to back off. There are times when you can see that the person opposite you is totally wrong, unfair and unkind. But in the heat of the moment, nothing you say will make sense to him or her. Wait for the steam to evaporate. Then, after reflecting on the possible reasons for the person’s behavior and thinking of a positive solution, take it up gently, and stay calm. Daily meditation makes this easy to do.
Don’t jump to conclusions: If your partner wants to spend an evening alone, don’t assume it is because the love is fading. If a friend does not call you as often as you would like, don’t conclude that she has become indifferent or arrogant. We sometimes do things simply because we want to or have to, not because we intend to hurt someone. If most of us understood that, a majority of conflicts could be avoided.