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4 Ways to Fix Communication Breakdowns
By Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D, Intent.com
Communication breakdowns often occur in the office, on-the-go, and in our personal relationships, for various reasons. And the effects of failed communication can be very damaging. Whether the problem is due to people not speaking up or from not listening intently, here are some tips for overcoming these communication breakdowns:
-Try not to rush. If you sound rushed and distracted when you say something, people may think you are not interested or feel offended, because it seems like they are unimportant to you. If you do happen to be rushed, provide the other person with a brief explanation that you are very busy with something now, but do want to talk with later, so either you or they can contact you again.
-Confirm you’re on the same page. Often breakdowns occur because someone has false assumptions about someone or about something they expect someone to do and communicate based on those assumptions. For example, a boss or co-worker assumes you already know something or you will be taking on a particular role or responsibility, when you aren’t. In this case, it is best to confirm in conversation or in a memo or e-mail what you expect someone to do or what you understand they want you to do. Then, if they don’t understand something the same way, they should tell you, so you are both on the same page.
-Encourage questions. Another reason for a communication breakdown is that someone doesn’t say something or ask for clarification because they don’t want to appear stupid; they feel shy or uncomfortable asking or explaining something; they want to be diplomatic by not bringing up a subject that might make others uncomfortable. Or perhaps a person doesn’t want to admit he or she wasn’t listening or didn’t understand something, and hopes to figure it out later. The approach to use here is to make the other person feel comfortable and safe to ask questions, even if he or she thinks he or she should know that. Conversely, if you are unsure or unclear about something, ask. If the boss seems hard to approach, try asking a co-worker. Or try feeding back what you do understand and invite the other person to fill in what he or she also wants you to do.
-Practice active listening. Communication breakdowns also occur when people don’t allow time for others to ask questions or don’t take time to listen carefully to others themselves. For example, a boss gives everyone instructions on what to do, but not everyone understands. Or an employee doesn’t listen closely when instructions are given. A tip here is to make sure everyone has understood what you have just explained and invite them to ask questions if they don’t understand something. Another approach is to invite someone to provide a brief recap of what they think you said. Conversely, if you are listening to instructions, actively engage your mind so you really listen. For example, imagine yourself doing what you will be doing, as the other person talks. And afterwards, be ready to ask for clarification or examples if there is anything you don’t understand.
For more ideas on overcoming conflicts and communication problems, you can see some chapters fromDisagreements, Disputes, and All-Out War at www.workingwithhumans.com.
Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D. is the author of over 50 books and a seminar and workshop leader, specializing in work relationships and professional and personal development. Her latest books include Want It, See It, Get It and Enjoy! 101 Little Ways to Add Fun to Your Work Everyday, both from AMACOM. Gini’s Websites are: www.workwithgini.com and www.ginigrahamscott.com.
Intent.com provides content and community for who you aspire to be–personally, socially and globally.
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21 comments
add your comment »I enjoyed this article. I think that people need to take more time with people. Everyone should slow down and communication would be much easier and more efficient. I thnk we live in a culture where everything revolves around instant gratification. Due to this, if we are not emailing, messaging, txting- and we actually talk face to face- it isn't efficent because we rush eachother.
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It ' a good scientific way to open a new page of communciation.We must use the language tolerance.We are not better than the other.''Never too old to learn" is a good motto when communicating with other individual.
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I liked to say "There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. You can ask me anything" to new staff members and co-op students.
That old saying, "When we 'assume' something, it just makes an as* out of u and me (as*-u-me) still holds true.
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I agree wholeheartly.
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Thank you great article. The No.1 reason in all buisiness problems too!
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Pertinent to everyday life, useful, kind, insightful---in short, good stuff indeed, thanks for posting (I am afraid to say I learned something from this)!(-;
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ABSOLUTEY RELEVANT TO ALL LIFE SITUATIONS.
Many thanks for posting this, Megan.
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This is so true we all need to get along no matter where we come from.
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so true
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we live in an age where we have every tool imaginable to enhance and make use of more effective communication yet we don't even know how to simply communicate.
we talk on cell phones just to be talking, we text rather than talk to anyone anymore and we send emails rather than a handwritten letter. and forget visiting - the only time we see each other is if we go to the same event!
we need to put down those phones and blackberries and whatever else these things are and start opening our mouths, our ears and our hearts to one another. otherwise we can have all the communication devices in the world and it doesn't make us any less antisocial.
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