START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good

5 Reasons Why You Need a Friend Like Rhoda

  • 1 of 2
5 Reasons Why You Need a Friend Like Rhoda

Valerie Harper, 73, recently announced that she has been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer.

Harper is best known for playing Rhoda Morgenstern, the quick-witted roommate and brazen buddy of Mary Richards on the 1970s sitcom, “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” and star of the show’s eventual sequel, “Rhoda.”

Truth is, no matter who you are, or what life stage you’re currently in, every woman needs at least one “Rhoda” in their lives; someone who embodies that special mix of sarcasm, candor, wit and loyalty that come together to make an irreplaceable companion.

Here are 5 reasons every woman needs a Rhoda in her life:

1. She helps you believe in a better tomorrow.
Rhoda: “Mary, you’re having a lousy streak. I happen to be having a terrific streak. Soon the world will be back to normal. Tomorrow you will meet a crown head of Europe and marry. I will have a fat attack, eat 3,000 peanut butter cups and die.”

No one can (or should) be a Positive Polly 100 percent of the time. It’s an indisputable fact of life that you will get knocked into the dirt a few times. When this happens, you need to have someone around who can pick you up, dust you off, and get you ready to face another day. The best kinds of friends are those that can set you on the path towards finding your inner source of optimism. Extra points are awarded for buddies like Rhoda, who can flavor their support with a dash of good humor.

2. She knows what it’s like to have a complex relationship with mom.
Rhoda: “I think she’s holding a grudge because I didn’t go into the profession she wanted.”
Mary: “What’s that?”
Rhoda: “A housewife.”

Everyone’s relationship with their mother is different. Mothers can be notoriously hard to please. This often stems from a place of deep love; they only nag because they want the best for their children. Other times, mothers can be a source of constant negativity and deflating put-downs. And no matter what kind of mom you have, it’s guaranteed that the two of you won’t always hit it off. When mothers and daughters fight, the chaos that ensues can mimic that of a raging hurricane. During these troubled times, having a friend who understands what you’re going through, someone who you can be open and share your feelings with, is an invaluable asset.

3. She knows how to solve any problem
Mary: “Oh Rhoda, chocolate doesn’t solve anything.”
Rhoda: “No Mare, cottage cheese solves nothing. Chocolate can do it all.”

Rhoda’s point is well taken. Not only is chocolate a tasty indulgence, in it’s dark form, chocolate is rumored to provide certain health benefits. But, not every problem can be solved with a Snickers—that’s what friends are for. A non-judgmental pal can help you talk through different solutions to a problem, sometimes offering suggestions, and other times just letting you bounce ideas off of them. Just remember the importance of reciprocation; you have to make time to help your friends solve their problems too. This can be especially tricky for women who are part of the so-called, “Sandwich Generation,” trying to balance elder care with other relationships, such as friends and family.

4. She’s always willing to offer a healthy dose of brutal honesty
Rhoda: “Mary, I thought you knew. Your parties are, uh, disasters. I mean, I thought you knew. How could you not know that?”

Honesty is a highly-undervalued trait that is absolutely essential in a good friend. It’s easy to become so mired in your own problems, or stuck in your own mental rut of feeling sad, guilty, angry, etc. In these instances, you don’t necessarily need a helping hand, you need an outside voice to tell you that enough is enough—it’s time for you to snap out of your funk and take control of the situation. Just as you need friends willing to extend a helping hand when you really need it, you also need comrades who will stand there, encouraging you to get up by using your own inner strength. A great friend is one who can sensitively point out your shortcomings and encourage you to find a way to banish a bad habit or overcome negative emotions that are preventing you from growing as a person.

5. She chases away the critics
Phyllis (Mary and Rhoda’s sarcastic landlady): “I just thought I’d see what you swingin’ singles do for fun.”
Rhoda: “Same as you—sit around and wonder what it would be like to have a happy marriage.”

There are always going to be people who find fault with practically everything you do. Whether it’s a family member, an acquaintance, a co-worker, or a crotchety landlady like Phyllis, these people are draining to be around. That’s why you need a friend like Rhoda who can offer just the right dose of aggressive wit to let these individuals know that their brand of negativity is not welcome in your life. These kinds of friends can help teach you how to set boundaries with parents who are abusive, or other people who are harassing you.

Continue reading to hear Harper’s inspirational message regarding her diagnosis

How to Be Your Own Best Friend
11 Things You Should Never Say to a Caregiver
Why Listening Is Your Secret Weapon

Why Every Woman Needs a Friend Like Rhoda Morgenstern originally appeared on

  • 1 of 2

Read more: Celebrities, Friendship, Life, Relationships, , , , ,

By Anne-Marie Botek, Editor

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love connects family caregivers and provides support, resources, expert advice and senior housing options for people caring for their elderly parents. is a trusted resource that visitors rely on every day to find inspiration, make informed decisions, and ease the stress of caregiving.


+ add your own
4:01PM PDT on Mar 22, 2013

One of Rhoda's lines has always stuck with me. She says to "Mare", "I dunno why I'm eating this (brownie); I might as well apply it directly to my hips." Very funny lady - and I loved her fashions on the show. She was a window dresser, remember?

1:11AM PDT on Mar 22, 2013

I never liked Mary, always liked Rhoda :)

1:01AM PDT on Mar 22, 2013

thanks for the article.

12:38AM PDT on Mar 22, 2013

interesting, thanks for sharing

9:53AM PDT on Mar 20, 2013

thanks for the article.

8:53PM PDT on Mar 19, 2013

Rhoda as played by Valerie was a keeper as a friend. She suffered with her friends; she supported them and she enjoyed their joy. Loved Rhoda even more than Mary because Rhoda had pimples.

6:16PM PDT on Mar 18, 2013

Valerie is one of our special people. We always love her!!
Yet another "Beautiful Lady"!

3:53PM PDT on Mar 18, 2013

Yeah, I agree, who wouldn't love to have Rhoda for a friend?

3:46PM PDT on Mar 18, 2013

Yeah, okay, passing around :-)

12:10PM PDT on Mar 18, 2013

Thank you Valerie.

add your comment

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

Drag a string for cat to chase, ok. Allow the string to unroll ad lib and walk away, not ok. Strangl…

My dog rides in my car in the back seat without being restrained; but, he is obedient and stays put.…

It's good to try new things. It's not good to jump in head first,like a ninny, into a an unknown bo…

thank you

I think our attitude, what we at, and how we live our lives absolutely has a power to affect how hea…


Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.

site feedback


Problem on this page? Briefly let us know what isn't working for you and we'll try to make it right!