5 Rules For Holidays That Don't Suck

Rule One: Protect yourself from mean people.

If going home for the holidays means not being yourself, love yourself enough to not go home.

When push comes to shove, you–the real you–is all that you really have. If you need to pretend to be someone else in order to feel welcome, don’t go. Find a new place, a new tradition, a new way to be you because you are perfect just the way you are. If the people in that place you call home can’t love you for the truth of who you are, then that place isn’t your real home.

Home is a place where we are loved completely.

Home is a place where the love of others teaches us how and encourages us to love ourselves.

Home is a place that exists deep within us, and also far beyond us.

Home is a safe place.

So, there it is. No more. Ever. Stop allowing people to be mean to you. I don’t care if they were drunk. I don’t care if they “didn’t mean it” or if they were all stressed out because of the whateverthehell was going on that day. I don’t care if you’re gay. I don’t care if you don’t eat meat on turkey day. I don’t care if you don’t want to pray the way they do, or if you do want to pray and they don’t. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

And what I really want is for you to not care, too. Any questions?

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Kiana S.

3:05AM PST on Jan 19, 2012

More great tips to live by. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such helpful articles. You have no idea how much I look forward to seeing them in my inbox!

send a green star

Catherine S.

7:58PM PST on Jan 16, 2012

I tortured myself for years going home for Christmas to a family that was horrible to me. Thinking that I had to rent a car "in case I had to get away quickly" was just reidiculous in retrospect. I always came home depressed, beaten down emotionally. I'm amazed now that I could not even think of just not going.

peggy p.

9:14PM PST on Jan 3, 2012

so easily said and so hard to do....but i agree it's good to accomplish

Past Member .

8:26PM PST on Jan 1, 2012

In a class I took on the way to letters after my name, RSS, recovery support specialist, we were taught that we teach people how to treat us.

We need to start teaching them to treat us with respect, love and a dash of admiration is not amiss. lol

More important, we must not allow others to form an ideal for us to live up to. Being the expression of the God within us, whatever that potential may be, is all that is necessary.

You were not put on this Earth to please me.

I was not put on this Earth to please you.

If we harmonize, let us give thanks.

Donna S.

9:00AM PST on Jan 1, 2012

Wonderful article! It's also important for us to remember that everyone is on his or her own journey through this life, and while people often choose to walk the path a while with us, they are not usually at the same developmental level as we are. The best we can hope for is companionship, sharing of ideas, and permission to fulfill our our driving needs on the path. We are not alone, but symbiosis is a prison sentence to which WE hold the key. With or without a partner or family, we are never alone. It's always possible to make new choices and change our minds about how we want to experience life. Those who can appreciate that, often choose to walk the journey with us, those who can't either shun, condemn or try to control us out of their fear that we may also want them to change. Most of the organizations on this planet run in this pattern of fear, so it's difficult to find a place to belong. I agree with Christy; home is where your heart feels safe and loved. Namaste!

Sarah M.

8:12PM PST on Dec 29, 2011

thanks

Shirley E.

7:06AM PST on Dec 29, 2011

Although I whole-heartedly agree we are al responsible for our own state of mind I think it's important to achieve balance in our lives, and sometimes we do something to please other people, not just ourselves. It's also worth remembering that for too many people, home is NOT where they are loved, nurtured and cherished unconditionally but where they are routinely bullied, controlled and put down.

Winn A.

6:04PM PST on Dec 27, 2011

Sounds like a great idea!

Robyn L.

12:59PM PST on Dec 27, 2011

Great ideas for all year.
Especially not holding your decisions against others.

Liz E.

12:48PM PST on Dec 27, 2011

Thank you, Christy, for reminding me about my rights as a person. To not get stomped on by others. Saying no is big. Some say it's the biggest word.
I'm glad you stuck to your guns about the dessert. She needed to back off ~ she was being rude.