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5 Things to Stop Saying to Your Single Friends

5 Things to Stop Saying to Your Single Friends

Paired up? Your single friends are happy for you…but you’re driving them crazy with your well-meaning words. They’re too nice to tell you to cut it out, so I’ll tell you instead.

“I have the perfect guy for you!”
There’s nothing wrong with setting up your single friends—but please, know something about the guy other than “he’s single too!” before you tell your friend how perfect they are for each other.

“Are you sure you’re happy?”
Accompanied by the sympathetic head tilt, there is nothing more rage-inducing than having a friend not believe that you’re happy being single. Let’s make a deal—keep it to yourself if you think your friend is kidding herself when she says she’s happy flying solo, and she’ll keep it to herself that she doesn’t think your boyfriend is as charming as you think he is.

“Your life is like an episode of Sex and the City! What’s your latest crazy story?”
For some reason, this exclamation usually comes up in mixed company, as a way of introducing Single Friend as the friend with all the crazy dating stories. Being put on the spot is never fun—even less so when your puppet-master is demanding you dazzle and entertain with stories about the guys you’d rather forget.

Anything that sounds like it belongs on a Hallmark card.
You just have to put yourself out there! It’ll happen when you least expect it! It’ll happen when the time is right! Sure, one of these may turn out to be right, but in the meantime, just assume she’s heard it all before and doesn’t need a refresher.

“Your time will come.”
Are you offering reassurance or predicting the end of the world?

Read more: Friendship, Love

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Diana Vilibert

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn. You can be blog-friends with her at dianavilibert.com, or tweet her at @dianavilibert.

90 comments

+ add your own
12:28AM PST on Nov 19, 2012

Good article for young people.

2:00PM PST on Nov 17, 2012

I tell them how lucky they are:-))

11:09AM PST on Nov 17, 2012

It's none of anybody's business but some people can't keep mum.

4:05AM PDT on Oct 1, 2012

seriously, do we need to say when it is none of our business!

2:25AM PDT on Aug 16, 2012

Interesting, thanks for the info!

1:07PM PDT on Aug 10, 2012

Couldn't stop laughing! Excellent!

9:14AM PDT on Mar 26, 2012

My best friend & I met the first day of high school - 44 years ago.
She & I have both been married and divorced, and married again - at different times.
She, nor I never asked the questions above at any time. We know each other too well to ask such questions.

4:42PM PDT on Mar 21, 2012

It's like 10x worse when you hear it from people who are constantly in and out of relationships. Not everyone feels the need to have some clingy control freak constantly demanding attention, some people are just more comfortable flying solo - at least until they manage to weed out someone who actually understand their quirks and individual needs in a life partner. And honestly, if you can't be happy and feel complete as an individual person - what the hell are you doing attaching yourself to and weighing down some other poor soul?

12:16PM PDT on Mar 15, 2012

let people in peace

1:51AM PDT on Mar 15, 2012

If there's something I can't tell or can't be told, then we are NOT true friends.

The (true) friends are people that
1. believe justly each other every word;
2. are ready to help each other whenever one of them needs it.
Such friends are as rare as water in the desert, of course. I'm happy I've had at least one true friend in each period of my adult life. Many people say: "So you have one (2, 3) friend(s) only! I have 10 (20, 30) of them." After explaining whom I call a friend, they
- either admitt they have no frends if fact
- or oppose such friends don't exist.
The latter usually means they don't deserve true friends.

When the true friend tells anything "inconvenient" to me, I know first of all that (s)he wants to help me genuinely. This feeling is as important for me as I do feel no inconvenience of his/her words.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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