Paired up? Your single friends are happy for you…but you’re driving them crazy with your well-meaning words. They’re too nice to tell you to cut it out, so I’ll tell you instead.
“I have the perfect guy for you!”
There’s nothing wrong with setting up your single friends—but please, know something about the guy other than “he’s single too!” before you tell your friend how perfect they are for each other.
“Are you sure you’re happy?”
Accompanied by the sympathetic head tilt, there is nothing more rage-inducing than having a friend not believe that you’re happy being single. Let’s make a deal—keep it to yourself if you think your friend is kidding herself when she says she’s happy flying solo, and she’ll keep it to herself that she doesn’t think your boyfriend is as charming as you think he is.
“Your life is like an episode of Sex and the City! What’s your latest crazy story?”
For some reason, this exclamation usually comes up in mixed company, as a way of introducing Single Friend as the friend with all the crazy dating stories. Being put on the spot is never fun—even less so when your puppet-master is demanding you dazzle and entertain with stories about the guys you’d rather forget.
Anything that sounds like it belongs on a Hallmark card.
You just have to put yourself out there! It’ll happen when you least expect it! It’ll happen when the time is right! Sure, one of these may turn out to be right, but in the meantime, just assume she’s heard it all before and doesn’t need a refresher.
“Your time will come.”
Are you offering reassurance or predicting the end of the world?