When you were married, you probably wanted to change a million things about your spouse. Dating after a divorce gives you the chance to find the mate of your dreams. If you ex was bald, maybe youíve longed for someone with a full head of hair. If your former spouse was a materialistic person, perhaps you truly desire someone with deeper and more meaningful values. No matter what qualities you seek, do not settle for less. Dating will give you the opportunity to try on all of those traits that youíve always wanted in a partner and see how they fit. Set your expectations high enough to satisfy you, but within the realm of realistic.
If itís Not Fun, Theyíre Not the One
The whole goal of dating should be to find enjoyment in the company of someone else. When you begin dating after a divorce, focus on having a good time, not finding a new spouse. Give yourself a gut check every now and then to see if you are still having fun. If you are feeling pressured or unsure of the dating circumstances, change them. If you are not enjoying the time you spend with one particular person, stop seeing them. The beauty of dating is that you have the freedom to change course until your find the right one.
A watched pot never boils. I canít tell you how many times my friends have told me that no matter how many dates they went on, they couldnít find that special someone. And as soon as they stopped looking, guess who popped into their lives? The same thing happened with me. I was newly divorced and had no intention of dating for some time. And thatís exactly when I met my current husband. When we are not pressured to impress and are being completely ourselves, we just may end up meeting that person who is attracted to all of those qualities that we try to cover up when we are on a date. So let your hair down, let your guard down, and take a look around. You may be surprised who is looking at you when you stop looking.