Are you single, like me, and find yourself feeling extra lonely on holidays as you drive by parks filled with families and friends gathering for picnics and barbecues? Do you plan the longer vacations but not the shorter one-day ‘getaways’ that can greatly rejuvenate the soul and refresh the spirit?
I have found it is important to plan at least a few shorter one-day outings per month. It gives me something to look forward to, keep my life feeling fresh and interesting, and I feel deeply rejuvenated with more reserves to tackle the upcoming week.
Here are 5 tips that will get you out of the blues, out of the house and on to having a adventurous and fulfilling life as a single person.
I often wonder why all of those years I was married and/or in a relationship I was always either planning fun outings or going to them. Why is it that I don’t plan them nearly as much now that I am not in a relationship?
If you are in a time in your life where the kids are gone, and the spouse or significant other is too, the good news is that you have the luxury of making the most important person in your life YOU!There is no reason our lives should stop being fun just because we aren’t part of a ‘couple’. We need to grow a new set of muscles, ones that are focused on making US happy.
Instead of viewing being single as a liability, see it as an incredible luxury. You can now create your family of choice. Consider the benefits of not having to spend time with family members you didn’t enjoy being with, like your crusty Uncle Albert whom you tolerated but secretly couldn’t stand!
Because we are not used to considering ourselves a priority, we often find ourselves on the day of the holiday with nothing planned.Put the same time and energy into planning your own fun times as you might have in the past for your children and/or significant other. Honor yourself and savor this time for you as a gift.
Be the Place Everyone Comes To
If you always enjoyed gatherings with family or friends, be the host or hostess and plan ahead so that it goes on everyone’s calendar and you aren’t caught with no one showing up. Do the research and reserve the beach or park or fix up your back yard with fun outdoor strings of lights and paper lanterns and hold your own party. (See my article on Summer Garden). Instead of feeling like the orphan, become the place that everyone wants to come to!
Collaborate With Other Single Friends
Find another single friend or a group of friends you enjoy spending time with, get out your calendars and plan fun outings three months in advance. If you don’t have friends to do things with, plan them for yourself. Consider you are the most important person in your life now, and you are worth it!
Throw out Expectations and Open to the Magic of the Moment
Alternate the responsibility for planning the outings to each member of your select group and make sure it includes things you have never done before.
Create a general plan but allow for spontaneity in the details. Taking a walk on the same path or going to a favorite restaurant is fine for another time, but make a habit of doing something completely different at least a few times a month.Our personality may like predictability but our soul craves adventure. Getting out of the mundane shakes off the cobwebs and gets us thinking differently, hence opening us to new possibilities in our lives!
Explore Places Close To Home
Don’t let the lack of money keep you from planning a fun life. So many things around us are free. In this day and age when gas is so expensive, make it a point to explore ‘staycations’ close to home. You may be surprised how many things are within an hour drive from where you live. You want to make the experience the main event and not have to spend half the day getting there.
In recent research I found these three fun inexpensive things to do all within an hour drive of my home in N. California. I toured Harley Goat Farms in Pescadero, CA; a darling organic goat milk farm offering tours, a gourmet tasting room and fantastic dinners made from the ingredients from their own farm and organic gardens. I spent a day at Green Gulch Farms; a Zen monastery offering weekend meditations and talks, a beautiful and inexpensive lunch from their organic garden and a meditation walk to the ocean. I also found La Nebbia, a delightful winery only fifteen minutes away from me offering live music, wine tasting with a lovely outdoor picnic area. All of which are very affordable within lovely natural settings.
Make sure part of your day is spent in nature (weather permitting). Just spending 30 minutes will balance your energy field and deeply refresh your soul, carrying the healing benefits far into the next week. Sitting in a movie theater or doing activities inside a structure will not provide the same level of rejuvenation. Whether you take a hike, go swimming or kayaking, or just sit by the seaside, always include outings in nature as a part of your schedule.
Take the entire day.
Putting time constraints on the adventure is a sure way to kill spontaneity. Give yourself the gift of a full day to immerse yourself in an entirely different experience at least twice a month.
I have to be in nature every day and am blessed to live next to the ocean where hourly walks along the cliffs are part of my daily physical and mental health regime. Spending an entire day in nature is like doing a deep cleanse and energy alignment and the positive effects stay for days longer.
Whether you plan your adventures with friends or do them on your own, committing time to planning interesting things and putting yourself in the path of adventure will spice up your life. Gone will be the days you felt like the orphan peering into the window of the lives of other people’s happy gatherings!
The benefit is that you become more interesting to you. As a result, you attract more interesting people to you, and your life gets even more interesting!