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5 Ways to Rebuild Trust After It’s Broken

1. Coming clean does work—but not completely clean. Denial only leads to more distrust, so the truth has to come out along with the willingness to take responsibility for your actions. However, detailed truth can sometimes make the hurt even worse and compound the pain, and therefore the healing process. Couples can spend tons of time on details while losing the thread of what needs to be done to correct the misconduct.

2. Being defensive, righteous or casual about the problem never works. There must be a sincere effort to work out the issues, or the wall will never come down. The angrier you are, the less you are able to hear what the aggrieved one has to say, and the worse what they feel will get.

3. Talk about what made you do it. Opening up about your own struggle, the need to get help, and the awareness of what got you there in the first place will help to prevent further infractions. If there is a sexual addiction problem, you must be willing to attend SA (sexual addiction) meetings or do what is necessary to make it better. If there is loneliness in the marriage, take the initiative to make an appointment with a counselor. Talking about your feelings of alienation is the best way to connect again.

4. Be an open book. That means open your cell phone, email, and appointment book for a period of time. This is usually the hardest part, because any person who has lived that clandestine underground life of secrecy likes it that way. They feel entitled to privacy, and they become righteous and indignant. At this point, you will need to take a moment and ask yourself what is really important: your relationship or your privacy? It really comes down to that.

5. Renew your vows. Whether married or not, there is a need to discuss values about living life and what that entails. This may be the most important part of the process. Take time to talk about what you want, what got you into this mess, and what needs to happen moving forward. Write it all down and make a ceremony out of it. Invite your friends and family. Tell the world what you are going to do and mean it.

For Laurie and Frank, it was too late. Frank had gone too far, with too many areas to correct what had gone wrong. Had they talked about it sooner, there may have been a reckoning, but too much water had gone under their relationship to make it work. I think Frank did learn a tremendous amount about how to live with another person and about who he wanted to be. For Laurie, the wounds were deep and it will take time for her to trust anyone again. A word here to all those people out there who are contemplating something strange: there are a lot of people who are hurt by the actions of destroying trust.

Renewing trust is not just a decision—it’s a lifestyle change. It’s about coming home to yourself and your mate, and making it work. Keeping a relationship clear and open is a valuable process. When we lie, cheat, steal and do bad things to ourselves or others, we pay the ultimate price, and we lose what is most precious to us. If you need help, get it. If you need a change, then make it. Creating trust is a big deal, so treat it that way. There are many facets and turns in this very delicate and daunting process of trust. If it’s not dealt with properly, then it will torch your relationship until what remains are ashes and regret. If you can look at the restoring of trust as a learning process that will hopefully bring with it greater intimacy and love, then go ahead on. If not, then make other plans.

 

 

Related:
5 Kinds Of Trust Married Couples Need
Do You Snoop Through Your Partner’s Phone?
The Cost of Infidelity

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Dr. Bill Cloke

Dr. Bill Cloke has worked with individuals and couples for 30 years. He received a master’s degree in education from the University of Southern California and holds a PhD in psychology from California Graduate Institute. A frequent talk-radio and TV psychologist, he is also a contributor to PsychologyToday.com and other popular websites and has lectured at UCLA. Bill Cloke lives with his wife in Los Angeles. To learn more about Bill Cloke, and for more resources on creating healthy, happy relationships, visit happytogetherbook.com.

252 comments

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2:12PM PDT on Sep 9, 2014

Am so happy to testify about a great spell caster that helped me when all hope was lost for me to unite with my ex boyfriend that i love so much. Am from turkey and my name is Williams grace, i had a boyfriend that love me so much but something terrible happen to our relationship one afternoon when his friend friend that was always trying to get to me was trying to force me to make love to him just because he was been jealous of his friend that i was dating and on the scene my boy friend just walk in and she thought we had something special doing together, i tried to explain things to him that his friend always do this when ever he is not with me and i always refuse him but i never told him because i did not want the both of them to be enemies to each other but he never believed me. he broke up with me and i tried times with out numbers to make him believe me but he never believed me until one day i heard about the GREAT DR. EHOHO and i emailed him with his email drehohospiritualtemple@gmail.com and he replied me so kindly and help me get back my lovely relationship that was already gone for three months. Am so happy and all thanks to the GREAT DR. EHOHO that help me with his white love powers. If you have any kind of problem email him now for help with his email
drehohospiritualtemple@gmail.com .

6:22PM PDT on Sep 8, 2014

HELLO,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I
got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl
last month, But when i met the Prophet Suleman the great messenger to the
oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Prophet Suleman about how my
ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He
only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting
my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After
it was been done,In the next 12 hours,My love called me on the phone and
was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week
after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for an
interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing
director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the
entire world to contact Prophet Suleman through his email
prophetsuleman@gmail.com

4:39AM PDT on Aug 7, 2014

HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK!!! i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Dr Lawrence for bringing back my husband who left i and the kids for almost two months. i am very much grateful to Dr Lawrence . I pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to help more people having similar problem like mine. for help you can reach him on his email address:drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com or call his mobile +2348143988536

8:57PM PDT on Jul 1, 2014

I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when I meet a friend that introduce me to DR SWAMI the great messenger to the whole world who God has given him the grace to help people in their relationships, I narrated my problem to DR SWAMI about how my ex love left me and also how I needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were I will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what i need to do, After it was been done, In the next 2 days, My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director.. I am so happy and overwhelmed that I have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR SWAMI at the following email address and get all your problem solve.. No problem is too big for him to solve. Contact him direct on: swamitemple@yahoo.com And get your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: swamitemple@yahoo.com

6:06AM PDT on May 2, 2014

I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

8:21PM PDT on May 1, 2014

I contacted purityspell@gmail.com in regards of my lover. He no longer wanted to associate with me anymore. He was interested in working out his marriage, after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands, he really was leaving me. My co-worker went through a similar situation and told me that purityspell@gmail.com had helped her. I can't say how much I'm grateful she introduced me to Prophet Mike. After discussing the resolution with Prophet Mike, his get your lover back spell has done more than what I expected. My lover and i are now back together we are getting married next month, I don't know what I would have done if not for my co-worker and Prophet Mike.

10:43PM PDT on Apr 28, 2014

Out of respect for you and your spells I must make this testimony known to all. I've been to other spell casters and psychic readers before, but in my opinion you are the best. I just wished I came to you earlier, but hey I got the best for last and that is Prophet Mike. My ex was gone for a year and i tried everything i know to get her back but all to no avail, until my friend introduce me to Prophet Mike. After that Break Up Spell and Love Spell was done I finally gotten calls from her. She and the other guy broke up and we are going on a vacation together... Thanks alot. To everyone who is looking for a real spell caster contact Prophet Mike today on purityspell@gmail.com, and i am sure he can help.........Greg

2:57PM PDT on Apr 28, 2014

Hello to every one i want to testify of what a spell caster has done for me,i was in a relationship for two years happy with my partner few months to our wedding she left me and went after another man she never came back home again, i cry all day looking for help i have contacted so many spell caster but no result one day i was on the internet when i came across a testimony on how Doctor Jatto helped some one to get back his lover so i gave a try and it work out for me am so happy to have my lover back to my self again thanks once again Doctor Jatto for helping me to bring back my lover if you are passing through the same problem or any kind of situation and you think all hope is lost my dear is not. contact Doctor Jatto on his email : drjattosplltemple@gmail.com. my name is smith micheal

9:11AM PDT on Apr 5, 2014

thanks

8:00PM PDT on Mar 22, 2014

There must be at least 40 spam comments on here - I have reported about 20 of them - sick of them, do something about it!

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