As a mother, I can say with great confidence there are more than eight reasons why cats are better than kids, but just in case my two daughters (6 and 8 years old) read this post someday, I better leave it to eight! This would also be a good time to clarify: I love my daughters. I love their giggles. I love their curls. I love the charming crayon drawings they proudly bring me.
Yes, I love reading them bedtime stories and I love kissing their boo-boos, but there are admittedly moments — and sometimes even days — when I wonder if life would have been easier if I had just been happy with my husband and three cats and left it at that! Cats, after all, are so much easier to live with – and you can leave them (mostly) alone when you go on vacation.
So, for those of you without kids still hankering to procreate, here is my short list of why you should either be happy with the cat you have or, if you do not already have a cat, why you should consider cats instead of kids!
1. Cats are quiet – really quiet, compared to kids!
2. Cats take care of their own potty needs. You never have to wipe a cat’s bum. If they are indoor-outdoor cats, you don’t even need a litter box.
3. Cats make great company when you are sick. They just curl up next to you — quietly (see, there is that word again) and they do not ask you to play bingo or monster trucks when you are about to upchuck into the toilet bowl.
4. To feed cats all you have to do is leave a bowl of dried food on the floor. It can also be the same food everyday.
5. You never have to bathe a cat — they do so all on their own and without complaining.
6. Cats, unlike kids, love to be brushed. When you brush a cat, there is no howling or tears — and thus no guilt.
7. They never argue or talk back to you with a voice full of sass.
8. As said above, you can leave cats mostly alone while on vacation and if you want a date with your partner, you never need a babysitter, thus making those dates easier and cheaper.
In spite of all the benefits of having just cats instead of kids, you must be careful about having too many cats, especially if you are female, single, and over age 40. Otherwise you may be known behind you back as “the crazy cat lady” — or worse accused of witchcraft. Having a few kids around however can diffuse the name calling and the witchcraft suspicions! Furthermore, if you really like to wipe bum-bums, loud noises, and cooking for picky eaters, the good news is that cats and kids are not incompatible. In fact, you can enjoy both. I know, because I do.