Imagine if you and your doctor signed a contract like this:
As patient and doctor, you and I are entering into a partnership. As such – and with all due respect – I’d like to clarify a few things about the terms of this partnership and how I hope we can work together with the mutual goal of my whole health and healing.
My Voice Matters
I agree to speak up and use the voice of my intuition and my own self-healing knowledge. I understand that you are not giving orders, but rather you are giving advice based on your knowledge, training, and intuition. Both of our voices are equally important if we are to be partners. I am not here to be “fixed” because I am not broken. I am here to be supported, guided, and given the tools to support my own healing process.
I Can Heal Myself
Just as my arm can knit and heal when it breaks, the rest of me is capable of self-healing as well. As my doctor you will act as my proverbial plaster cast, but my own self-healing mechanisms will need to do the rest. I fully believe that I already have within me the power to heal myself. When we meet, I will gaze, with love, into the mirror you hold up for me so that I may see what I need in order to optimize my wellness and happiness, so that I may live the most joyous, vibrant, fulfilling, sexy, healthy life possible. Although you will support me, by educating me, giving me choices, answering my questions, and making recommendations, I know that I am here to be the force behind my own healing. You may offer me the tools you have become an expert in providing – drugs, surgeries, and any other treatments you deem helpful, but I understand that I must do the heavy lifting myself.
If I am not ready, willing, or able to be a proactive force in my own healing process, you will be here to nurture and support me, but I understand that the process will be less powerful, with less dramatic results.
You Won’t Blame Me & I Won’t Blame Myself
You will not blame me for being sick, depressed, or otherwise in need of healing. If I did bring this upon myself, you will treat me with compassion, not judgment. During this process I will not blame myself either, even if my body decided that the only way to get my attention was via this health condition. I vow to be kind, loving, and nonjudgmental with myself, as well. I will simply accept my body’s wisdom with compassion and love and try my best to listen when it whispers.
I also realize that you’re not suggesting that every illness or problem will be cured, either by my hands or yours. We both know that healing and curing are different, and that one can happen without the other. Although our goal will always be to achieve both, we will both understand that we must set goals, but release attachment to outcomes and surrender to Divine will. In this very surrender, healing lies.
We Are Equals
Although you spent many years training to earn the right to be my doctor, you are not “better” than me, and as such, you will treat me as a cherished equal. I’m the one living with my health conditions, and no one knows my body better than I do. If I come to you after accessing Doctor Google, you will listen to my intuition regarding what I think may be in need of healing. In order for our partnership to be successful, we must – absolutely must – respect each other. I will not put you on a pedestal, and you will not look down upon me. When possible, you will make every attempt to speak to me when we are both dressed, and you will only leave me naked and feeling vulnerable in the brief moments when you need to examine me.
You accept that your time is not more valuable than mine. You will make every attempt to avoid making me wait for my appointment, and I will not be late. When we spend time together, you will focus your full attention on me, and I on you.
Please, Don’t Forget That Love Heals
If you have to share something with me that might make me scared, please do it with compassion. If you have to tell me I have cancer, or my baby died, I’d love for you to give me a hug and tell me that you’re here with me. Patients like me need to feel we’re not alone. If that feels uncomfortable for you, at least offer me kind words to reassure me that we’re in this together.
Trust My Intuition
You will call upon your knowledge, experience, and resources to offer me recommendations for preventative care, diagnostic workups, and treatment plans, but you will also invite me to listen to the intuition of my healing inner wisdom, my body, and my soul. You’ll understand that the reason I visit Doctor Google is to garner knowledge about my illness and to tap into that knowledge to see what might fit with my intuition. I do this not because I don’t trust you, but because it’s the only way I feel empowered.
You will offer me your best guidance based on your expertise, and you will explain why you make the recommendations you do, but you will always respect my autonomy, without judgment. You will not take it personally if I question you. If I choose not to follow your advice, we will negotiate another plan that resonates with my intuition. In exchange, I agree to follow through on any treatment plan we agree upon. If our treatment plan does not resonate with my body’s wisdom, or if I have financial constraints, I will tell you so that we can modify our plan. Follow through is key. We must walk this path together in order to manifest the results I know we can achieve together.
Ultimately, the choices for how we proceed will always be a compromise between my intuition and yours. If you are unable to provide the care I need or desire, you will release me to follow my heart or find another provider without taking it personally. I will understand if our current medical-legal climate makes you cover your ass sometimes, and I won’t take it personally.
You Believe In Me
You believe in my capacity to heal from any illness, trauma, or loss, even if other doctors have deemed me “incurable.” As such, you will never view me as hopeless or broken. You will tell it to me straight so I understand science and statistics, but you will never tell me hope is gone, because miracles happen, and I have the power to enable them.
We Must Be Honest With Each Other
We have to be open and tell the truth, even if it is painful or uncomfortable. You will promise me confidentiality, and I promise to tell you anything you need to know in order to provide the best medical care possible. We must trust that we are safe together, so we can explore things that may be tough to explore. We must open our hearts to the loving kindness and compassion that is a necessary part of any healing relationship.
You Are Only Human
As your patient, I will understand that you, like me, are a mere mortal, prone to mistakes, flaws, insecurities, ego, fatigue, tears, and distractions in your personal life. I will not put you on a pedestal, and I will cut you some slack if you’re less than perfect, just as you will do with me. If you let me down, I will tell you gently, rather than bottling it up and storing it as resentment against you. In return, you will share with me how you feel about our relationship. If at any point, one of us cannot meet the other’s needs, we are free to dissolve this relationship at any time with loving kindness and compassion. You’re Doing The Best You Can, And So Am I.
As patient and doctor, we agree to accept that we’re both doing the best we can at any given time, and we won’t always get it right. We commit to open communication, mutual respect, a belief in the infinite capacity for whole health and healing, and a dedication to cherishing the process and viewing health issues as an opportunity to seek higher ground.
We acknowledge that, between you and me, anything is possible.
Are you on board? If so, sign here.
X marks the spot,
Become a Pink Medicine Revolutionary to download this patient-doctor agreement and ask the person responsible for your health care to sign it.
Before you sign this contract with your doctor, consider optimizing Doctor Google by getting your questions answered online on a reputable site staffed by physicians like Avvo.com.
Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of OwningPink.com, Pink Medicine Revolutionary, motivational speaker, and author of What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.
Learn more about Lissa Rankin here.