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A Positive Inheritance

A Positive Inheritance

We all want to pass on to our progeny what is most precious to us.  Mistakenly we often think about our inheritance in terms of material wealth.  What we most deeply transfer to our children is the best and worst of our character.  Probably no one sees our failings as clearly as our teenage children. I have learned long ago that I can get nothing by them, so I don’t even try. They witness my struggles to stay committed, to keep my promises, to face my challenges with dignity. They know my failures and have picture perfect memories of many of the days that I missed the mark.

Happily what also seems to translate over time, often imperceptibly are the values and daily practices that make us who we are. In my case, the last 18 months has given my kids daily doses of my work to both see the world positively and to make a positive contribution to the world.  More and more frequently they see me take breaks to rest, exercise and meditate, the three practices that most efficiently bring me back in to balance.

Lately as they have been facing their own growing challenges they have joined me in my practices.  My eldest daughter has opened up to the power of full presence and is vigilantly noticing all of the moments that pull her away from it. My younger son has discovered the power of meditation since his frightening accidents earlier this year and to relieve anxiety before his basketball games. I love teaching them about this work that has given me the capacity to love my life.

Today we all lay down together to meditate, when my son commented in his dry and teen mocking tone about how “I am about to have a perfect moment…” It was true and funny as I lay draped by my kids doing what I love most.  We all started to laugh and each time we started the guided meditation over, laughed harder.  I have heard about laughing meditation before but had never achieved it until today.

Later that day,  Luke went to his games, looking only for that feeling of falling into yourself and doing what you love so completely that you are literally lost in the present.  There isn’t a scoreboard, there is just the game.  And a fast moving game it was against a team called the Elite…  His team stepped it up and were gallant, and he in his full presence, let his body do what it knew how to do and rained threes. Mostly I just witnessed the utter joy of being fully and completely in life. No over thinking, no comparisons, just the pure thrill of being you.

These are the days when I am so grateful to have an inheritance worth something to pass on.

Read more: Wendy’s Positivity Quest

Read more: Children, Guidance, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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7:01PM PST on Feb 28, 2013


1:57AM PST on Feb 28, 2013

Cheers Wendy :)

6:50PM PDT on Jul 28, 2011

Great post.
My husband's parents put everything into his brother's name when my husband got sick. Basically he was disowned. When asked why? Mother said she could no longer count on us since we would now be busy taking care of him( HER SON). What lesson does that teach her grandchildren?
Material things go but memories remain almost forever.

3:48PM PDT on Jul 14, 2011

Wonderful post. Best wishes to you and your family!

6:49AM PDT on Jul 14, 2011

Thanks for the article.

3:42AM PDT on May 31, 2011

Very useful! Thx!

2:41PM PDT on May 27, 2011


10:43PM PDT on May 26, 2011

Thanks for sharing this great post

11:15AM PDT on May 26, 2011


8:07AM PDT on May 26, 2011

thanks for a great post

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