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Addicted to Sex?

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Addicted to Sex?

Addictions come in many shapes and sizes. Some are more obvious, such as drug or alcohol addiction; others we may not commonly consider to be addictions, such as the addiction to being right, or to receiving approval. Yet all addictions have this in common: they are an attempt to escape our inner discontent through external stimulus or distraction. Sex is a very common addiction. Like all addictions, it is not the act in itself but the way we use it that matters: sex can be used as an escape, or if we choose, as a celebration of life, an expression of joy on the path of self discovery.

Sex becomes an addiction when we cannot bear to be with ourselves. If we are constantly looking for someone to feel attracted to or fall in love with, someone to save us from ourselves, then sex has become an addiction. Instead of connecting internally with what we are feeling, we prefer to lose ourselves in fantasies that seldom reflect reality.

Addiction creates dependence, which in turn creates fear and anxiety. The only way out of this is to see through the addiction, to revert the energy that propels us towards the object of our desire by turning it inwards, and seeking to be with ourselves with the same intensity we sought to be with another. By strengthening the bond with ourselves, we create strong and solid roots: a base from which we can share our life with a partner, without getting lost in the drama and suffering generated by the frustrated search for external satisfaction.

Thirty years ago we were breaking barriers; the taboos around sex were being challenged and reinvented, but it’s not about that anymore. Now it is time for us to take responsibility for our own happiness, and instead of seeking to take satisfaction from our world, to focus on what we can give. If we have a sexual addiction, we are taking from others; using them for entertainment, like a toy. It’s time to grow up.

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Read more: Addiction, Guidance, Inspiration, Spirit

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Isha Judd

Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness.


+ add your own
5:08PM PDT on Apr 12, 2014

Raven B: Good for you!!! save yourself for your wedding nite!!!
That said, Sex?? What's that?? lol!!

4:34AM PST on Feb 18, 2013

Be true to oneself

10:31PM PST on Dec 13, 2012

I can think of worse things to be addicted to.

11:15AM PDT on May 29, 2012

@ Jane: People who've never had good sex think it's the most disgusting thing in the world. Those of us who know arousal, foreplay, a little experimentation and the after glow realize just how good it is for the body and inner peace

4:44PM PDT on May 26, 2012

Interesting article, thanks for posting.

12:16AM PDT on May 26, 2012

Thanks for the information!

1:33PM PDT on May 25, 2012

there is a natural urge to do that sort of thing, probably hard-wired essentially from birth

11:25PM PDT on May 24, 2012

...I guess if you're talking about the "Larry Craig", "toe tapping", "taking a wide stance", "men's restroom cruising" kind of love, now that would be kind of disgusting for his wife, I would think.

11:20PM PDT on May 24, 2012

"How can one be addicted to the most disgusting thing in the world?!"

Teresa, I'm dying to know, what is so disgusting about it? And you can't become addicted to it, some people are just hornier than others.

11:17PM PDT on May 24, 2012

"There are also (less frequently) women who are far hornier than their husbands. Long term sexual compatibility is an elusive thing."

Very true. Rose's man seems to be very horny and a tad unempathetic. I think if he were a little smoother he could get what he wants without making her feel victimized. On the other hand did Rose know how this guy was before she married him? I don't really think twice a day is out of line. I hope she didn't have visions of changing him. Men don't change, they just get worse over time. Somebody should have told her that. In Sweden they make couples live together for a year to see if they get along before marrying. European countries seem to be more advanced and less sexually repressed than America. I meet so many uptight, narrowed minded people, it makes me wonder if everybody in America is Catholic. Sex is natural and important so people should find a good match if they plan on being together for any length of time.

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