Alone But Not Lonely

Discover the truth about all the people in your life who prefer their own company to a crowd of friends. Anneli Rufus author of the Party of One: The Loner’s Manifesto dispels the negative associations and myths of not being social.

Anneli Rufus is a graduate of UC Berkeley and the author of five books, including Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto, Stuck: Why We Can’t (or Won’t) Move On and The Farewell Chronicles. She is also the coauthor of five more travel books, including Weird Europe and The Scavengers’ Manifesto. Currently she writes about food, health, sex, and other topics for TheDailyBeast.com, the Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and Alternet.

Dive deep with us as we discuss the ways that we get stuck in life and the simple, but not necessarily easy fixes to creating a life that is responsive and open to change. Insightful and funny, this is a conversation that will make you think twice about the social relationships that define life.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Sophie D.

10:10PM PST on Feb 19, 2012

OH MY GOD do you ever shut up and let the Author talk? I am a diagnosed loner and you are exactly what drains us. I am exhausted just listening to you. I am so sorry to be so rude but it would be lovely to of heard her talk so much more on being a loner. Sophie

send a green star

Margie B.

11:34PM PDT on Sep 3, 2011

I love my life (ALONE) -
No distractions - No one in my face
I love peace and quiet -
I do whatever I want when I want OR NOT -
I come and go as I please -
It's Called Freedom...

I have my 2 furry Cat Boys that need me, and they give me great pleasure with their company -

If I feel the need for human contact I call a family member OR friend.
If I've been in the house too long, I just get out and go shopping OR something -

Works For Me!

KS G.

6:28PM PDT on Aug 29, 2011

Thanks for the article.

Beverly G.

4:55PM PDT on Aug 23, 2011

Im a loner, i do prefer my own company, tho sometimes i have been forced in my life to be lonely and ,be a loner due to the fact of not having a lot of friends or reliable friends . I do like being on my own in my own space but, i do like sum company sumtimes but not all the time. IIm 56 now, female and cudent commit to marriage tho lived with a man and i think as u get older u change and u get worse. So now we are apart my circumstances have changed and have become more depressed,supressed and lonely, sufering from anxiety and, yeh - stuck. Sum of it is my ded and anx that stops me, i am fearful, i have lost my confidence and cant face the outside world and what it throws at me at times.

Kate R.

6:39PM PDT on Aug 17, 2011

It's really refreshing to read this and the comments. I'm becoming more and more of a "loner" but my living situation doesn't allow for much alone time. I'll have to try harder to create this time. Thanks for the eye opener. I guess it is OK to be like this.

Loo S.

9:58AM PDT on Aug 17, 2011

noted

Tom S.

7:33AM PDT on Aug 17, 2011

I prefer just my wife & doggies & a few select friends and family

Larry B.

11:26AM PDT on Aug 16, 2011

Refreshing to read all the posts from other solitude lovers! Thanks to all!

Raluca A.

3:10AM PDT on Aug 16, 2011

I agree, thanks!

heather g.

11:10PM PDT on Aug 15, 2011

I feel deprived if I'm not able to spend enough alone-time. At the same time I genuinely enjoy interacting with others and either having fun or enjoying an in-depth conversation.
Unfortunately, I often find myself in the company of people who don't have any enthusiasm for life, who are stuck and often lash out at others for no particular reason. If I'm not interacting with another person within a group and learning something, sharing or listening - I'm off like a dirty shirt !! That would be like sitting through a boring movie .... my time is too precious for that......