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Are You A Carboholic? How To Break the Addiction

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Are You A Carboholic? How To Break the Addiction

By Monica Wilcox

Excuse me, are you going to eat your dinner roll?

This was the running topic of dinner conversation during my college years. Not, “Have you studied up on Pavlov’s theory?” or “How wild was that frat party last night?” or “Are you seriously dating that hot cowboy?” My top concern was how many rolls I could mooch off my table mates in a 20-minute sitting. Fortunately for my cravings (unfortunately for my blood sugar) I lived in a sorority with 90 women; that’s A LOT of rolls. A good night’s take for me was around seven rolls.

Hello, my name is Monica and I’m a carboholic! Hot-buttered-bakery-fresh-donut-diva-there’s-not-a-bread-I-don’t-love CARBOHOLIC. Like, could someone please ban me to a life of bread and water!!!

When my weight starts to climb and my jeans start to feel like sausage skin, I know exactly where the blame lies. There were times in my life where 80% of my calories were carbohydrates: toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, and tortellini with garlic bread for dinner. Oh the Glory!

It Takes a Carby to Know a Carby

Yeah, I know a thing or two about the life of a carboholic. And I can spot another carby from the end of my baguette.

  • Carbies choose restaurants based on the quality of their bread basket or tortilla chips; we eat the main dish to clear our palate. Olive Garden anyone!!
  • Carbies consider a spiritual pilgrimage to be an Italian pizzeria tour.
  • Carbies don’t mind sleeping in the Krispy Kreme drive-thru as they wait for the staff to arrive.
  • Carbies have no problem ordering a baguette as a side to their sandwich.
  • Carbies quietly hoard the bread basket; praying no one will eat the last warm cornbread muffin as they stuff down a sourdough roll. Pass the honey please!
  • Carbies are secretly tipping the maitre d’ to stash an extra bread basket in their to-go-box.
  • Carbies know the exact time the local bakery pulls the fresh loaves from their ovens (those would be the people standing at the glass counter at 5 am; cow pajamas, moose slippers and all).
  • Carbies would never insult the Italian population by consuming pasta or pizza without cheesy bread.
  • Carbies strive to complete the world Subway tour, visiting all 35,307 stores.
  • Carbies have a “stash” hidden from their housemates.


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Read more: Diet & Nutrition, Eating for Health, Food, General Health, Health, Men's Health, Women's Health, , , , , , , , , ,

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7:11AM PST on Nov 28, 2011

Really good article. I can definitly feel her pain....cold turkey is the only way to go!!

4:45AM PST on Nov 28, 2011

Chocolate covered blueberries just sound just a bit un tasty to me. One or the other at a time be fine, not together.

5:22PM PST on Nov 27, 2011

Carbs get a bad name but it's the refined carbs that are the main problem. I lost 7 kg going vegan and ate plenty of whole grains including quinoa, millets etc, brown and black rice etc - they don't give you the sugar rush the refrined carbs do, they keep you fuller for longer and are a good source of a lot of things depending on the grain - like iron..

6:13AM PST on Nov 27, 2011

Correction. I quit smoking 7.18.10.

6:12AM PST on Nov 27, 2011

Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm a carbaholic. I quit smoking 7.18.11 and went right to this addiction and am now 235lbs and only 5'4". My mom is diabetic and I'm fast on the road to joining her. I'm ready for this addiction to go buh bye!

11:24AM PST on Nov 26, 2011

Looks like a few of you may have finished this post with your mouth watering. Excuse me while I lick the coffee cake crumbs off this plate...

In answer to what I use carbs to emotionally stuff; boredom and a lack of energy. I'm not much of an emotional eater. When I'm eating all the carbs I desire I'm a size 8, when I cut the unhealthy ones out I'm a size 5. They make a big difference in my health and mood.

BUT I think the key for every individual is to discover what works for your body and what goes against it. :)

6:02AM PST on Nov 26, 2011

thank you, i needed that info.

5:36AM PST on Nov 26, 2011

Thanks, I am currently trying to break away from carbs.

2:36AM PST on Nov 26, 2011

I am a carboholic, and have some friends who are carboholic also. I die for a pizza, pasta, bread with butter... I could eat only that during all my life and I would never get bored. But I'm aware that I have to change this T.T

My favourite non-carb snack is also chocolate :D

12:41AM PST on Nov 26, 2011

thanks for a great post

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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