http://www.care2.com/greenliving/are-you-in-a-possessive-relationship.html
Are You in a Possessive Relationship? Quiz
Adapted from Teen Psychic, by Julie Tallard Johnson (Inner Traditions, 2003).
It’s all too easy to confuse possessive love with true love, but possessive love can harm and undermine you, depleting your
energy.
Take this simple quiz to see if you may be in a possessive
relationship.
Answer the following questions true or false:
1. The other person needs to have say in everything, or most everything, that you do.
2. He or she does not give you time to think for yourself and demands immediate decisions.
3. You find you are frequently unsure and you let the other person make up your mind for you.
4. You spend most, if not all, of your time with this person.
5. He or she does not like your friends.
6. He or she threatens to leave you if you exert any independence.
7. He or she is jealous of your family and/or friends.
8. Whenever this person is around, you give your power over to him or her.
9. You are losing energy and enthusiasm you had for past interests.
10. You find you do things with this person that you said you didn’t want to do.
The more of these statements you answered “true,” the more possessive and potentially dangerous the relationship is. But even if you only recognize one of these as true for you, you may be in a possessive relationship. As long as you are willing to be in this kind of relationship, you will stifle your true nature and true love will elude you. Even true love found in friendships and family relationships is nonpossessive and empowering.
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7 comments
add your comment »to mlady and emily j, what things do you mean the 'men' should handle,,,,,?
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this is a very scary quiz,
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Mlady Raka, I think you are right, but I also think this quiz is talking about those that do abuse the power you give them, and when they won't let you have it back.
As a woman who has been in a possessive relationship before, I know the differences.
There is a difference between willingly allowing the person you're in a relationship with to handle things (especially things you're not as good at) and letting them handing everything without letting you have any say.
One way I've always looked at it is that if they're possessive then they're usually oppressive too.
The only place this doesn't seem to fit is in specific cultures where one sex usually has more say than the other in a relationship.
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I quite agree with Raka,this very topic is very important to me as i am a student of human nature
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(Raka continued)
cling onto the idea that they have to preserve their own 'power'...are people who are inherently afraid of 'letting go' and trusting someone else to make a descision for them. I also feel that if they do decide to let go and allow others to make descisions, they may find themselves under a lot less stress, especially if the one they trust with the decision making is capable in his particular field of decision making... Trust has a great part to play here, and I trust him explicitly in his fields of expertee. This is a two way street and we both had to learn to acknowledge the strengths of each other and let each other excercise that strength in our relationship. It has only made our relationship stronger and more secure and grounded. So, if you are in a relationship where the other partner is dominant...just make sure he/she is dominant in areas area where he/she REALLY is your superior...then sit back, relax and enjoy the ride... You have your talents..so do they...and we are not all equally endowed with these talents. Recognizing it, and utilizing it by allowing the other to take charge in that area...requires a humble spirit, commonsense, trust and logic...and having THOSE talents, provides you with power anyway...
So 'giving your power' to someone else in your relationship is not necessarily something bad, it can be very rewarding not to have to worry about something your partner is better in dealing with!
Love and rainbows
Raka
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I cannot entirely agree with this quizz...since the one question which is pertinent to this quizz ...is not asked... Are you doing so willingly or do you feel intimidated into behaving in this fashion. I am in a relationship with my husband of 24 years, and 80 percent of these questions are true for me. However, I am quite happy to leave the descisionmaking up to him...and 'hand over' power to him...since I feel that he is CAPABLE of handling it, and it makes him feel as the protector of the house and the man in my life. I do know that if I chose to (and I have done so on a few occasions), I can stop him right there, have my say and have my way...but I simply have not deemed it necessary...since he is doing a great job on being the Head of our household and our family. I also believe that a person's religious beliefs and traditions do have a role to play here. There is nothing wrong (to quote the phrase) handing over power to someone else if that person is capable of doing a good job and won't abuse it. We do it all the time...that's why we have governments and all the other institutions which regulate our lives and make laws... However...we can take that power back by voting them out of office if they make a mess... The same goes for any relationship in my opinion. I know that I even though I hand over descision making to my husband, and allow him to 'fly'...my inner strength is not something anyone can touch...(him included)... I personally feel that people who
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This is a very scary quiz. All but 2 questions were true for me. I'm so sad that I've given control of MY life to someone else.
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