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Are You In Toxic Relationships?

Are You In Toxic Relationships?

Understand the three kinds of relationships you have in your life. People who leave you alone are dealing with your suffering as a nuisance or inconvenience; they prefer to keep their distance in order to feel better themselves. Those who help you have the strength and awareness to do more with your suffering than you are able to do by yourself. Those who hurt you want the situation to stay the same because they do not have your well-being at heart.

Honestly count how many people are in each category you have in your life. This isn’t the same as counting friends and loving family members. Assess others solely as they relate to your difficulties.

Having made a realistic count, take the following attitude:

1. I will no longer bring my problems to anyone who wants to leave me alone. It’s not good for them or me. They don’t want to help, so I will not ask them to.

2. I will share my problems with those who want to help me. I will not reject genuine offers of assistance out of pride, insecurity, or doubt. I will ask people to join me in my healing and make them a bigger part of my life.

3. I will put a distance between myself and those who want to hurt me. I do not have to confront them, guilt-trip them, or make them the cause of my self-pity. But I cannot afford to absorb their toxic effect on me, and if that means keeping my distance, I will.

Read more: Spirit, Deepak Chopra's Tips,

Adapted from The Book of Secrets, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 2004). Reprinted by permission of the author.

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

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+ add your own
8:33AM PST on Dec 28, 2012

#3 best applies -
Life taught me that no I cannot change others and further more, I cannot heal their woundedness if they have are not inspired to work on themselves. Those who inflict their wounds on others usually have little insight into their own character and personality, and little regard for the damage they do to others. Best to maintain a safe distance,...

5:38AM PST on Dec 26, 2012


8:26AM PST on Dec 23, 2012


8:01AM PST on Dec 23, 2012


7:26PM PST on Dec 22, 2012

I definitely belong in category 1. I have my plate full to deal with. Deal with yours since its yours.

3:25AM PST on Dec 22, 2012


3:11AM PST on Dec 22, 2012

Good info but also sometimes people might be going through things in their own life and they mightn't have the energy to give out to others. But those who deliberately go out of their way to make others experience pain from them aren't good for anyone. Having said that though I do recall someone say "hurt people, hurt people" makes sense doesn't it?

7:56AM PST on Dec 21, 2012


7:52AM PST on Dec 21, 2012

thanks, i decided some time back to remove all toxic relationships from my life

3:21AM PST on Dec 21, 2012


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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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