Are You Singing Your Song?

Whenever people actually find their own song to sing, their deep-seated sense of self-doubt begins to be released, leaving a space for creativity to fill. The song turns out to be beautiful; people find that they can sing it without being punished and even earn a living being themselves.

In every case, the song is socially positive and acceptable. Beneath the fear of being unique, each of us has a powerful craving for as much uniqueness and specialness as possible.

Why is it that at first the prospect of being ourselves is so horrifying? Deep down, as much as we might deny it, all of us have been hurt by having our childhood wishes trampled on, but we accepted it “for our own good.”

A child needs and demands to be respected as a unique person, but being small and helplessly attached to his parent’s approval, he will sacrifice his own feelings to win the reward of their love.

For most of us, our parents fed us their own concept of “being good,” and we conformed to that even if it rankled our still-selfish childhood egos. We were all taught to be good before we wanted to be good. This may sound like a fine distinction, but in later life it makes all the difference between freedom and slavery.

A gap was created between true and false emotions, between what I should feel and what I actually feel. The process is subtle but treacherous. If it goes on long enough, one forgets what it is like simply to be, to let happiness and sadness come when they will, to give or keep as the moment dictates.

Adapted from Unconditional Life: Discovering the Power to Fulfill Your Dreams, by Deepak Chopra (A Bantam Book, 1991).

Love This? Never Miss Another Story.


Elisa F.
Elisa F.1 years ago

Thanks for the article :)

Shireen Hakim
Shireen H.3 years ago

I love it. I always need this reminder. After reading this the song"unwritten" came in my head.

Margarita P.
Margarita P.4 years ago

I was just thinking this morning about how I never fit in with any group that I try to join. This article makes me feel a bit better about myself.

jerry coleman
jerry coleman4 years ago

This post makes me feel good thanks

heather g.
heather g.4 years ago

What a good reminder for us to stop and think - check whether we are on our true path.......

rene davis
rene davis4 years ago

fabulous, thannk-you..

Olivia S.
Past Member 4 years ago

Thanks. I've been singing my song for years...though because of a hearing problem and being tone deaf (and listening to the tune of my own drummer), my song might seem "out of tune" to a lot of people. So what?

Ji H.
Jean H.4 years ago

All that preface before the final sentence which says it all in just a few very important words at the end.

Gaby D.
Gaby D.4 years ago

Oy Deepak.....right on time and right on the nose! It's really something how these messages are so timely! I read the post and the comments, including my own comment of yesteryear, and find that it's still very much a work in progress. Currently this mechanism is triggered to the extreme by a parent that has moved in due to illness! Even though I realize there is no ill will involved, the old patterns that were ......are now set into repeat mode....and I now feel a lot of what I probably also felt as a wee one. Last night another sleepless night as I wondered why I feel so's not nice....I feel guilty for feeling angry....etc etc........after reading this post....I no longer wonder. Bingo...that's the answer...Now, I need to find a way to manage singing my own song......leaving all the childhood stuff behind. No easy going....but at least now that I clearly know... ..... .I'll start singing more (literally) that I can remind myself of this post, and of singing my OWN SONG!!
I would like to learn how to do that without the anger. I will learn how to sing my own song, without letting anyone make me feel that my song is somehow not the right song, or out of tune, or whatever...IT IS MY SONG! Wow, Deepak thank you.....this post is worth printing out.....and judging from all the comments I'm not the only one that felt your words resonate deep within - wow what a chorus it will be when we all SING ALONG in our meant to be SONG! Namaste!

Zee Kallah
Past Member 4 years ago

Yep! I''m singing my song, Honey. I'm singing my song.

Now you sing your song to me.