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Are You Stuck Because Of Their Clutter?

The power position, of course, is remembering that the SOBS experience is about us–me and you, in this conversation–the rest of the stuff is up to the people it belongs to. Their stuff is their problem. Your stuff is your problem. My stuff is my problem. Got it?

(There is more to be said about those for whom we are responsible, like our children, but we’ll come back to them in another article.)

What I told the woman is this: I have two competing thoughts on this. One part of me thinks, it’s all you on this one! Clear 27 of your own things and then encourage him to do the same. Finding 27 items that are no longer serving you won’t be that difficult for most people who see themselves as having enough clutter to compel them to sign up for this challenge. The other part of me knows that it’s important that you make these decisions for yourself. Otherwise, it’s going to feel like I made you do it, and the shift that clearing clutter can cultivate is less likely to stick. I guess what I’m saying is here is that these are my thoughts but the decision is ultimately yours to make. I suppose that’s the hazard of SOBS being hosted by an opinionated woman whose life purpose is to empower others!

The reality is that I can’t force her, or you for that matter, to get rid of your stuff. You’re doing this so you can take back your life. And I don’t think that it’s going to help your stuck-ness to get rid of other people’s stuff or by forcing your people to get rid of their stuff.

I know this to be true, not because I’m a super-savvy organizational queen but because I live with people, too. When I feel most frustrated with “other people’s stuff” in my house, when I’m about to go out of my mind and start fussing at my kids, threatening to pitch their stuff out the window (yes, it even happens to me), I issue myself this very same reality check.

Before I go putting my nose into their business, do I have anything that no longer serves me hanging around? Do I have clutter to clear? The answer is always, always, always yes. And once I start tending my own things, my attitude immediately improves.

Are You Sick of Being Stuck?
Clutter: What if it Hurts to Let Go?
10 Tips for Controlling Clutter

Read more: Feng Shui & Organizing, Home, Self-Help, Spirit, , , , ,

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Christy Diane Farr

Christy Diane Farr is a catalyst. If that sounds like something you want more of in your life, visit 'The Greenhouse' at and join the Wildflower Evolution on Facebook.


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1:34PM PDT on Aug 23, 2012


6:59PM PDT on Apr 16, 2012

Thank you for sharing.

9:28AM PDT on Mar 31, 2012

Thanks for posting.

7:07AM PDT on Mar 28, 2012

Good ideas and great information. Thanks. De-cluttering is a more recent part of my life. One area at a time. Feels good to look at the empty spaces where stuff first stood.

7:51PM PST on Feb 15, 2012


5:57PM PST on Jan 30, 2012

Can't wait till the follow-up on children!

7:10AM PST on Jan 16, 2012

Yes, I de-clutter myself. Try to encourage my husband without nagging. He has promised for 5 years now to clean out and organize the garage. Can't even walk through it now.

8:28PM PST on Jan 9, 2012

Oh goodness: clutter truly gets on my last nerve [lol]: but i wish i'd learned years ago to consciously manage and respect my physical space [which also effects one's financial status]. Thanks for continuing to give us tips to break out of our footprints and bravely face the tomorrows, with our homes weighing a bit less. i find that the weight of clutter is absolutely like wearing 20lb weights on my ankles ... it slows down my thinking process/creativity and the longer things stay out place, the more overwhelming it seems to tackle. i'm learning to tape store receipts to something new i've bought: if i've not been tempted to wear or use it within a month, back to the store it goes.

10:01AM PST on Jan 8, 2012

glad I hate clutter and regularly donate things not used...great habit to get into!

4:55PM PST on Jan 7, 2012

I like your last paragraph. Thanks for the post.

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