My partner and I have been together for a couple of years.† I really love him and I love to be intimate with him, but once things get going down there, it seems like it’s over as soon as it starts. I donít want to hurt his feelings, but I just canít seem to keep up.† Any ideas?
I really love my girlfriend and I want to last longer for her.† She has never complained to me about our sex together, but I feel like the whole thing just gets going and then she is off to shower.† I donít know if the problem is me or just a rushed pattern that we always get caught in. What can I do to make our lovemaking last longer?
As you can see, both men and women struggle with the problem of how long sexual encounters last. There are a couple of different issues that get wound together, even as couples as the question which taken one by one, helps to clarify what is a problem and what is a process. The first thing to ask both you and your partner is are you wanting sex that lasts longer or do you individually or collectively want to last longer during sex.
The first issue, of sex lasting longer, requires that both people agree on what sex means. How you define what being sexual means to you and your partner will help to clarify what you both are invested in extending. For most people when they reflect on their sex life,† it is more than intercourse that they think about.
The best way to work on sexual issues is to expand our ability to think about what we are trying to extend.† Consider these questions: