START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good

Banish the Self-Hater

Banish the Self-Hater

We often have a little voice in our head that criticizes us, tells us how bad we are, and bosses us around. Called the superego, it really echoes the voices of our parents and other adults who told us as kids what was right and wrong, and so on. As we grow up, this inner parent can cause all sorts of guilt and self-deprecating feelings. Try this exercise to banish self-hate and its harmful effects.

Goal: To banish the effects of self-hate in our minds or at least banish its most harmful effects.

Procedure: Find a picture of yourself as a toddler or child. Take it to a place where you can sit comfortably and not be interrupted.

1. Breathe deeply, relax and let your mind flow. Meditate on the picture of your young self.

2. Remember the times you were yelled at, bothered, punished, and so on. Feel the feelings of unfairness fill you.

3. See yourself as that child, but now you are growing, growing, growing. You are a giant. You tower over the people who yelled at you and punished you.

4. Yell back at them! Defend yourself! Tell them what you think! Unleash all those words you were afraid to say before! See the grownups cower. They are asking you to forgive them!

5. Relax, breathe deeply. Forgive them. Tell them you forgive them.

6. Ask them to forgive you. They do. You embrace.

7. Let the image fade. In your mind hold three thoughts, in succession:

I forgive all adults who hurt me or made me feel guilty.
I am forgiven by all who punished me for anything I may have done.
I forgive myself, love myself, and am a worthwhile person who deserves love.

8. Finish your meditation as you wish.

9. Keep the picture of yourself as a child to remember that you are still a worthwhile person who is deserving of love, and you always will be.

Read more: Spirit, Exercises, Guidance, Self-Help

Adapted from Clean Sweep by Denny Sargent (Weiser Books, 2007). Copyright (c) 2007 by Denny Sargent. Reprinted by permission of Weiser Books.
Adapted from Clean Sweep by Denny Sargent (Weiser Books, 2007).

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love

Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

Go to the Source

Clean Sweep

Banishing everything you don't need to make room for what you now


+ add your own
11:51AM PST on Mar 2, 2013


5:35AM PST on Jan 20, 2013

This is for the tranquility inside

3:22AM PST on Jan 20, 2013

I'd call it self-control.

9:31AM PST on Jan 19, 2013

good reminder

9:17PM PDT on Oct 6, 2012

This should be very helpful, thanks!

11:24PM PDT on Aug 26, 2012

This is a great exercise to do to get rid of what holds many of us back and prevents us from being happy- ourselves by not forgiving ourselves and not loving ourselves. If we can indeed overcome self-hate, then we can truly live up to out potential and contribute to our world and the lives of others in a very positive way!

9:43AM PDT on Aug 26, 2012

"Forgiving ourselves allows us to create a garden of violets that will perfume our own and other’s lives with the fragrance of love."

------ Annie B. Bond

11:38AM PDT on Aug 25, 2012


6:05AM PDT on Aug 25, 2012

Thank you! :)

2:22AM PDT on Aug 25, 2012

Thanks for sharing.

add your comment

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

Good advises ,thanks. I have actually only one,but quite serious problem with MissElli. If we leave …

Making sure people understand why very young animals should not be spayed and neutered and how those…

Lol! It may have taken him a while to figure out what to do, but in the end, his brilliance prevaile…

You can't be too careful, especially with puppies. Thank you for caring and sharing.

Interesting article...and some interesting comments!


Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.

site feedback


Problem on this page? Briefly let us know what isn't working for you and we'll try to make it right!