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Being Lovable is a Quality of Spirit
Romance is a state in which your primary relationship is not with your beloved but with your Self. Romance therefore begins when you can show your soul to another person.
The secret to being attractive, if one consults the past record of human experience, is remarkably simple. It is summarized in an aphorism from the Latin poet Ovid, who said, “To love, be lovable.” A lovable person is someone who is natural, easy with himself or herself, radiating the simple, unaffected humanity that makes anyone truly attractive.
Sometimes, however, the simplest solutions are the most difficult to achieve. People find themselves caught up in the anxious search for love precisely because they don’t feel lovable. The very condition that would make for romance is absent. It is sad to say, but many of us have never felt lovable, even in childhood, when we had the fewest defenses against love and therefore could approach it with the most spontaneous innocence.
Being lovably isn’t a superficial quality; it is a quality of spirit. If you can see yourself as spirit, it won’t matter what conditioning has occurred in the past, whether you were fortunate enough to be raised with loving values or so unfortunate that you were discouraged and made to feel ugly and worthless.
Remember, in our inmost being, we are all completely lovable because spirit is love. Beyond what anyone can make you think or feel about yourself, your unconditioned spirit stands, shining with love nothing can tarnish.
If being lovable really is the secret to attraction, then there is no need for anxious searching. Because your own being, which can never be lost, doesn’t have to be found. The only requirement is a shift in perception, for those who cannot find love perceive themselves as not being lovable. This is not true, but they make it seem true by linking their perception to a powerful system of beliefs.
Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).
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17 comments
add your comment »Yes, when you love someone, it is a GIVING. Sometimes, we are hit with a devastating injury. However, the spirit is amazingly strong, if we allow ourselves to get beyond our past. We should not allow injurious relationships of the past ruin our future. We must WILLINGLY give to others & take the chance that we MAY be hurt again. Love is given freely, or it is not given at all.
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Dear Emerald, you are so rightly named. Green is the color of the heart chakra.
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After reading all the post, I feel that I have not done a good job of explaining my definition of love. Please know it does not ignore, but it far transcends that of romance. My romantic interest of 30yrs. passed away over 11yrs. ago. Since that time, I have had no romantic interest. However, I am in love in that I see the creation as being created by my creator, and I am constantly seeking through prayer to know how to wear the shoes that are designed especially for me. Sometimes this practice leads to visit the unemployment lines at a certain time and offer to buy lunch for someone who stands in line for work in order to have food to eat, at other times, I send personal cards of insperation through the mail to those I am imprinted to send at other times, a telephone call serves a meaningful purpose. Yes, I am in love and refuse to live any other way. Please know that the absence of breath is not the only thing that constitutes death. There is such thing as the walking dead. I know, I have been there. That is why I cheerish, and many times even flaunt the ability to truly love. It feels great, and puts me in control. I love it.
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Out of all the subjects we have spoken on, this is the most important. LIFE is NOT worth LIVING if you do not have love. Plain and simple. I have lived both ways. I call living without love/and or a career you love or hobby (like sailing) BBB, Boring Beyond Belief. I haven't been in love for many years. I love my dog, yes. Is my life worth living for the love of God, well, it's an invisible love, I can't really feel it. Life without love is a drag, a phony existence, and I must say, I resent it. This is the phoniest existence I can ever imagine.
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Love is Give & take .They say love is just giving your best but at times you atleast need a pat or a heeling touch which just shows you are needed.I feel the defination of love differs age wise .
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For God so loved all men that He gave His son to redeem them. If God loves you, you are lovable! He knows more about you than even you do and He stills loves you. He wants a real personal relationship with because you are so lovable.
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Poignant piece, Deepak. Obviously delivered with love. As always, thank you, for this and all your contributions!
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Love is not what we choose to make of it, but we allow it to make of us. It is a verb in need of daily exercise, lest it grow flaccid through disuse.
You love yourself when you reach out to another who is hurting and offer your shoulder, an ear, or a kind word. If you are truly of the spirit, this reaching out comes without thought of consequences to you or those you know, for your heart knows you're giving a gift that God sent you to give.
My favorite saying about love is this:
"Love is the only gift that grows as you give it, but dies when you hoard it."
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Thank you SO much my sweet loving friends. The world is truly our perfect mirror and you too inspire me with your own all encompassing kindness. As for what I call the terrible (as in terror) and horrible (horror) SLR (sex love romance) I say " avant get back, eeeek, yoiks, no no no!!!"
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Uma, Ron K is right. Through your posts here I feel nothing but love. I always look forward to your posts as I have learned so much from you and have seen you rally for those in pain. Whether you see it or not, you are pure love, light, and a source of great wisdom. You are a shining example for many here and I doubt that I am the only one you have influenced. I believe you are right on your correct path and that path is full to the brim with love. Please don't despair so much, for "romance" may not be your forte but love definitely is, and that is what I believe it is all about!
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