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Calculating Emotional Inheritance

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Calculating Emotional Inheritance

While many of us explore the impact of our parents’ choices on us, “The Work” is about putting together the pieces of our own reality. It is not about blame. Quite simply, we are who we are, products of a DNA lottery and whatever number of years’ worth of experiences. Some of us invest the time, money, and energy to come to terms with the latter and recover from the past in a way that allows us to change; and that process of digging into the gardens of our lives allows us to cultivate better ones. We are capable of growing and changing, of personal evolution, so to speak.

I’ve spent a good bit of my adulthood hashing out the realities of my childhood—the impact of my parents’ divorce and custody battles that followed, and the back-and-forth between them as they both moved around the world within their respective U.S. Air Force careers. As a young adult, frankly, I was a mess. I had almost no sense of personal identity (no sense of self that one would want anyway) and while the sordid details are more Jerry Springer than Care2, it’s safe to say I’ve come a long way in the search to find myself.

As a life coach, my focus has always been on individual empowerment and how each one of us can go about changing our own lives. This belief that we can take control of the wheel and drive the bus of our lives to the destination of our choice, on whichever route we damn well please, is empowering. Therapeutically speaking, we go to great lengths to separate (emotionally) from those around us because the only one we can change is ourselves.

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Christy Diane Farr

Christy Diane Farr is a catalyst. If that sounds like something you want more of in your life, visit 'The Greenhouse' at and join the Wildflower Evolution on Facebook.


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2:30AM PDT on Mar 14, 2013

Thank you - I think it's important to understand that each generation tries to improve on the parenting practices of the previous one; and each generation makes its own mistakes, so there's no point in "blaming" our parents for our adult selves.

1:20PM PDT on Mar 13, 2013


3:54AM PDT on Mar 10, 2013

i can't read stories like this without getting emotioned. My parent's life influenced me, it was not easy actually, but my mom is an heroine and i really i appreciate the way she deals the difficulties that family's life gave her.
My life is different from my parent's and grandparent's. It is also thanks to everyone's power, of course. And yes, it is nothing short of a miracle, too.

1:29AM PST on Mar 10, 2013

it is important to know from where we are and where we're going. this is long, complicated but fascinating jurney full of all sort of suprises. we are what we lived through, we are our dreams and fears, our past and future... we are our ancestors and posterity... each of us carry an peculiar independent universe. sometimes is hard to understand ourselves, so to understand others is a real art of life. accept do not judge, live and let live.... be happy because we are all part of miracle

11:52PM PST on Mar 8, 2013

Interesting, thank you.

11:37PM PST on Mar 8, 2013

Interesting, thank you.

5:22AM PST on Mar 7, 2013

Thanks for the article.

3:40PM PST on Mar 4, 2013

great point of focus for end of day

6:28PM PST on Mar 3, 2013


3:24PM PST on Mar 3, 2013

Fascinating and intriguing.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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