It’s Uncomfortable For Spermy People To Get Eggy
By this point, I was fully committed to being a force for change in health care, but only if I could do it in an eggy way. It became crystal clear to me that the masculine paradigm in health care had been effective, up to a point. And now it was time to embrace a more feminine, eggy way of being in health care. I couldn’t be part of reclaiming the feminine in health care by operating in a spermy way. As uncomfortable as it is, I would have to trust that, if my vision of healing health care is in alignment with the greater good, the Universe will fall over Itself bringing solutions to me, the initially reluctant but now willing servant of such a mission.
To say that this has not been easy for me is the understatement of the century.
I am freakin’ awesome at being spermy. I know it well. It’s my comfort zone. To try to be eggy in the face of something that matters this much to me has been practically impossible. I’ve had to sit on my hands, resist picking up the phone, spend hours in meditation, and make frantic calls to my spiritual counselor to keep from falling into old spermy patterns when my faith starts to lag.
This has been going on for years – 7 ½ years, to be exact, since the idea that I might help heal health care, rather than being a part of how sick it is, first occurred to me. That’s longer than my daughter has been alive and twice as long as I’ve been blogging! It’s been an exercise in Divine timing, but even more so, an exercise in trust.
A Lesson In Trust
After years of Guidance telling me to do nothing, all the sudden, in October 2012, my Guidance started throwing stuff at me right and left. It was coming in so fast and furious I couldn’t interpret the Signs from the Universe. I had to step out of my daily life, go on retreat to Esalen in Big Sur, and create enough space for the message to come through.
I wrote about the whole mystical experience here, but in essence, my Guidance (who I call Sebastian, by the way – you can read why here) was lovingly telling me to sit down, shut up, and take dictation for one email entitled “Calling All Conscious Physicians.”
So I sat on a wooden chair on a cliff overlooking the Pacific, got super quiet, and heard, clear as a voice sitting next to me, a voice telling me what to write. Fortunately, I’m a super duper fast typist, and I was able to just barely keep up with what Sebastian told me to write.
Relieved that there was finally action to be taken, I then asked Sebastian what I was supposed to do with this email. The maddening answer I received was, “Do nothing. Await further instructions,” to which I promptly – and respectfully, of course, – screamed, “F*CK YOU!” (Fortunately, Sebastian and I swear at each other all the time and nobody takes it personally.) Sebastian was patient with me and assured me, in the most loving, calming voice ever, that everything was handled, that I have nothing to worry about, that it’s all happening in perfect timing, that my vision was already on its way to coming to fruition, and that the process need not be stressful or exhausting or scary, that in fact, it would be joyful and fulfilling and lucrative and filled with unimaginable blessings.
I breathed. And decided to, yet again, do nothing and trust.
Fast Forward One Week
That all happened on a Monday, and exactly one week later, I was chatting on the phone with my new friend and Find Your Calling business partner Martha Beck, and I was telling her about what had happened at Esalen and how my Guidance had told me to write an email to doctors, inviting them to be part of the healing of health care. She then asked me to tell her more about the email I had written.
I gave her the details about how I was seeking 15 physicians who would become leaders in this movement to heal health care – not that I knew what I’d do with them should they raise their hands and claim their place as health care revolutionaries! Then Martha suddenly sprang to action. With a voice more animated than I had ever heard her speak, Martha said, “You’ll bring them to my ranch and we’ll teach them together how to be forces for change in healing health care!” (She just bought a big ranch in Central California with the intention of transforming it into a retreat center and healing the healers, though she too had been awaiting further instructions on her eggy adventure of being a force for change in the world.)
Suddenly, very eggy Martha was pure sperm, spouting off details about dates and curriculum and where these doctors would sleep and how much we’d charge and how she’d bring in her horse-whisperer friend Koelle and how all these doctors would go out and amplify our collective visions, like threads of a web covering the earth.
While Martha planned, I sobbed. I had just been given further instructions – and it had only taken 7 days.
(If you’re a physician raising your hand and saying “Me! Me! Me!” or if you know a physician who would like to be a force for change in healing health care, please email email@example.com and I’ll make sure you get more details when Martha and I finalize our plans.)
Can You Still Succeed If You’re Being Eggy?
Martha’s book Finding Your Way In A Wild New World is full of case studies that demonstrate that not only can you succeed, you can succeed wildly when you’re in service to healing the world in your own unique way. Even though I have read her book twice now, I needed to begin to experience it myself in order to trust that, not only is being eggy more fun and more restful than being spermy, it’s actually proving to be way more effective in my own mission, business and life.
Don’t believe me? Start trying yourself. In Part 4 of this blog series, I’ll be discussing the techniques Martha uses to help people be more eggy when they’re manifesting their dreams, so make sure you’re on my newsletter list so you don’t miss out.
Do You Trust That Being Eggy Can Work For You?
Share your successes. Confess your doubts. I always love hearing from you.