http://www.care2.com/greenliving/cant-buy-me-love.html
Can’t Buy Me Love
Have you ever really wanted something in your life? Something you put all your heart into achieving? What happened when you finally achieved it? Was there a rush of adrenaline? A feeling of triumph? Ok. Then what happened? Chances are, you started working towards a new goal. Maybe something more challenging.
It seems that no matter what we achieve, it is never enough. There is always something more. Got the car of your dreams? Now you need two. Why are we always waiting for something more?
Most of us spend our entire lives waiting. It has become such a habit, that even when the things we are waiting for (the promotion, the marriage, the children) finally arrive, we are incapable of enjoying them in their entirety - we are too busy waiting for something else (retirement, the vacation, the divorce). This is because we don’t really know what we want. We think we want things, but in reality, we want to feel satisfied. We think we want something that is coming in the future, but in reality, we simply do not want to confront our reality and embrace the present moment. This moment, right now, is the only thing we ever have. The rest is speculation and illusion, but it is here in the present where life is actually lived. If we are incapable of embracing the perfection of this moment, we are incapable of enjoying life. In reality, it does not matter how much we achieve materially; if we are rich but unable to be present, we will simply have achieved a more expensive form of misery.
You can create what you want in your life. And then, when you have what you thought you wanted, you can again create whatever you feel is still missing. You can go on doing this forever, until finally you find that it will never be enough. That is when the real adventure begins; the joy of discovering your true self. Loving yourself is ultimately the only solution to discontent, and that comes from expanding internal love-consciousness; an innocence, peace and joy that we had when we were children. To start embracing ourselves exactly as we are, letting go of the things that we don’t like, and polishing the aspects that we admire and enjoy, until we feel such an intrinsic joy that bubbles up from within, for no apparent reason. This joy, this love, will be mirrored externally, and it will reflect in all our relationships. We will start perceiving magic and beauty in the present moment, instead of discontent, yearning and eternal searching.
Like Siddhartha, whose privileged life in the palace was not enough, there is a yearning that cannot be satisfied by the material. What was Siddhartha looking for? Truth. Love. To understand. To experience union. Ultimately, we will all want for the same.
Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and author; her latest book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness. Learn more at www.whywalkwhenyoucanfly.com.
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9 comments
add your comment »Am I the only person who actually IS satisfied with what I have? No kidding: I have one small non-flashy car and will stick with it until it drives, same with my mobile phone and desktop computer - both are more than 2 years old and I'd rather fix them than get new, supposedly better and trendier versions. I love my house and don't want to move just because I'm bored after a decade of living there (which I'm not). And I don't walk out of relationships if something is not to my liking, thinking that I will find a perfect partner if only I date the whole town.
I think a lot of people who are never satisfied and always keep chasing something new, suffer from at least one affliction:
1. Low self esteem which they try to lift by matching up with other people's 'achievements'
2. Insecurity e.g. from experiencing poverty as a child.
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Thanks for the article. In my own life I found it necessary to have self-confidence and self-esteem along with self-love. Some how my mind formulated the concept that with these I make myself somebody that I can share with others in a responsible and accountable manner. I have to admit that I played the buying for happiness thing already. That usually led to a mess in more than one way.
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I saw an interesting piece at Zeitgeistmovie.com called Addendum in which the monetary system is vilified. It was an interesting movie (two hours) that seemed utopian and over simplified because of dangerous human nature, but fascinating none the less. I have always distrusted the progressive nature of wanting more and more...called Affluenza, and am saddened by the number of supposedly good people who don't recognize that by taking more than they need, they cause poverty in others. Ah but this is just a test on this blue marble and one day the Teacher will call in the papers to grade. Peace
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GREED. Thats the problem. Humans are GREEDY for money, power, whatever to be in control of others. NOT true about anyone can acheive their dreams. If you have a never ending supply of MONEY, YES. If you have the RIGHT CONNECTIONS ONLY then it comes true. Gotta know somwone with POWER to open the door. Just like in the movie bussiness. Caint get a screen actors card without acting experiance, yet cannot get an acting job without the card. Need to know someone to SIGN OFF for you. Just 1 little senario of life. Music as well. Easier now than before. Big groups had to sign outragious contracts when they did find the connection. Its easy to quote from some unrealistic life design when you have financial security / notiriaty, but as everday people, REALITY is much DIFFERANT. Happiness when spent on others is the idea of quick poverty without any gratitude from the receptiants. Not that you need their praise, but why would you place yourself in poverty due to the misfortune of another? Perhaps they just dont get it or chose not too. Is it not about as stated in this very article, about self design and application?
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Isha, my apologies. I posted the story referenced in my previous comment, Money buys happiness when you spend on others, and thought the comments were related to that post. Didn't mean to jump into your article!
Paul
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Thanks Steve Bates and Ron K for your comments. Steve, I didn't know Care2 was international and I'm glad somebody over your way saw the article even if you felt it was "hogwash". Ron, couldn't agree more, non-attachment and being mindful are, in my opinion, necessary for happiness. Love your profile page, but I already gave my weekly green star. Keep you in mind for another time.
Best, Paul
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You can have material items as well as finding spiritual truth. "What ever it takes..." The trick is not being attached to it; not letting the item control your thoughts and actions. A good test is how you feel afterwards. A good question to ask yourself: "Will this get me to my goal of finding truth and freedom?" Being mindful is one of the most important actions to being free.
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this is complete hog wash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Nice article and very good advice. I noticed a related article that you might find interesting in Science Daily. The title is "Money buys happiness when you spend on others".
Here's the link: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080320150034.htm
Best, Paul
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