Ceremony to Heal a Relationship

Life is as fleeting as a rainbow. A flash of lightning, a star at dawn. Knowing this, how can you quarrel?
–Buddha

Healing a rift with someone close to you often requires an initial period of reflection on what has disturbed the relationship and what will bring about reconciliation. How can we open our hearts? What will ease our minds and soothe our bodies?

Here is a simple but powerful two-part ritual to help you begin the process of healing your relationship, and begin anew.

Lighting incense, particularly one with a fragrance connected with comfort, such as sandalwood, can help create a soothing atmosphere for such reflection. Choose a quiet place, perhaps where the disagreement took place. Or you might sit in front of your home altar with symbols before you of the relationship that needs healing. These symbols can be letters, photos, pages from your journal, anything that speaks of the person or persons involved.

Light the incense. Breathe in its therapeutic scent. Lift up your shoulders and roll them three times forward and three times backward until they are fully relaxed. Allow the incense to burn out completely.

Sometimes we donít know why or how division has pushed us away from the people or places we care about. Separation sometimes just happens. Other times we remember harsh words, misunderstandings, and exclusions from the fold. It all hurts, but the pain does not have to last forever.

A phone call, a letter, even an email, can be the beginning of erasing the line of separation. As long as the goal is pure, coming together again can happen.

Choose an incense fragrance that is completely new to you. Try one that is pleasant and light to reflect your cleansing, perhaps a citrus scent, which is associated with fresh energy. You might enjoy one of the delightful fragrance sticks imbued with a fruity aroma, such as mango, strawberry, melon, berry, or pear. By opening yourself up to something as simple as a different fragrance, you begin the path to other changes. In your own way, ask for the strength and clarity to bring about change in your life and your relationships.

Adapted from The Essence of Incense, by Diana Rosen (Storey Books, 2001). Copyright (c) 2001 by Diana Rosen. Reprinted by permission of Storey Books.
Adapted from The Essence of Incense, by Diana Rosen (Storey Books, 2001).

8 comments

LMj Sunshine

Thank you.

LMj Sunshine

Thank you.

LMj Sunshine

Thank you.

LMj Sunshine

Thank you.

LMj Sunshine

Thank you.

Robert O.
Robert O.4 years ago

Thanks Annie!

K s Goh
KS Goh5 years ago

Thanks for the article.

David M.
David M.5 years ago

Thanks